[brokenandalone1234]

I feel really bad. I just told my fiance I hated him over the kind of shoes he wanted me to wear. I always want to be in boots or heels because I only feel pretty in those type of shoes. He wants me to wear tennis shoes to go to the store and even though it's 5:30am I wanted to wear boots. I feel like when in tennis shoes I look like a homeless bum. I have very low self esteem and for me unless I feel like I look like the best I can going out in public is a very high anxiety situation for me. I can't go out in anything other than boots or heels because I can't handle going out in public without them on. It to me says hey I have my life together and I can look good because of it. When in all reality my life is falling completely apart because of my low self esteem. I hate that I hate myself but I don't see anything to love about myself. The only good thing about me is my eyes everyone tells me how pretty they are because they are a mix of sea blue and baby blue. I hate that the only way I can feel comfortable in my own skin is to dress in heels and boots. The shoe thing causes a fight all the time but the minute he mentions tennis shoes and public it becomes an instant anxiety attack for me. I don't know what to do.

[Crazy Hitch]

(((brokenandalone)))

I am sorry to hear about this argument.

I just really think that he's not appreciative of your own personal needs, this is my personal opinion, I am sorry that I am so honest here.

But for him to be so commanding over the shoes you wear .....

Of what significance is it to him?

Aren't we allowed to dress as we see appropriate and the best for our particular style...

I'm being serious here -

I mean if my husband gave me a pair of tennis shoes and said here you are going to wear this out now I'd be like "Erm, sorry, pardon, what, please repeat" lol and this has been going on for a while for you now so in some aspects I'm not suprised you said you hate him over shoes ....... it's the words that came out of your mouth.

What you hate is -

The fact that he has to be so controlling in regards to aspects of your appearance that you do feel comfortable in.

I mean you've got enough going on already with other insecurities with regards to how you look -

So I mean really why should he be taking this small privilege away for you?

I don't think he's being very fair here to be honest.

Do you hand him golf shoes when you go to the mall and tell him here - wear these?

Well of course you don't.

You don't need to and nor should you.

Try that next time.

"Here honey I'll put the tennis shoes on at the mall; please take these golf shoes; you can wear these, because honey, me walking around in tennis shoes at the mall and you walking around in golf shoes makes about as much sense as believing that the Tooth Fairy truly does exist."

Don't hate too much the fact that you're comfy in heels and boots.

Look, it's YOUR style.

It's YOUR body.

It's YOUR comfort zone.

Can you buy your fiance matching male tennis shoes? Maybe you should give him a pair and demand that he wears them too. Maybe he should wear them to work?

Do you see my point here?

I really don't expect you to be giving your partner ANY shoes and commanding that he wears them and nor should he be giving you any shoes and commanding that you wear them.

It just doesn't make sense at all.

He needs to stop being so controlling.

[brokenandalone1234]

It was more because the boots didn't go with what else I was planning on wearing.

[divine1966]

What does he care????? What is he fashion police????

The only time such argument is ok if you invited to a formal black tie event like a wedding of event at his work and you insist on wearing snow boots or gym shoes. Then I can see how he would say you can't go like that it is embarrassing

But he cares what u wear to a store?????

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Originally Posted by divine1966

What does he care????? What is he fashion police????

Ha ha, I love that reply! I was wondering the same thing.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Ha ha, I love that reply! I was wondering the same thing.

Lol
I argued with men over what they were wearing but every time it was when they wanted to wear athletic or casual outfits to formal black tie events embarrassing me! Not going grocery shopping lol

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