[Waitingict]

I am in my 50s and have been a loyal and faithful husband for all of those years. I have a successful career, do not have any substance abuse or mental health issues. Although I do not claim to be the perfect husband or perfect person, who is? I cook, clean the house, buy her what she needs and much of what she wants. I try to be attentive to her emotional needs as well. I have tried to set 'date nights' where we can go and do whatever she likes. But, when we are alone at home (we have no children) she rarely initiates a discussion much lees intimacy. I feel as if I have not a wife but a roommate. I have tried marriage and sex counseling, and all I have been able to accomplish is paying another bill. She says she loves me, but her interactions with me feel as though she would rather be anywhere else. Our sex life is one of (at least for her) reduced to 'Is it time?'. Whenever we do have sex it seems to me as if she could just as easily be doing another load of laundry. I have really tried to make her feel special, in and out of the bedroom. I let her know that I find her sexy, intelligent, capable in her career, and generally try to boost her self esteem at often as possible. What I get in return is less than I would expect from a fwb. I do not want a divorce, I want the woman I married, the one who loved me, the one who showed me affection and understanding. Anyone else in a similar situation or who has worked through a similar situation? I do not know what else I can do to regain her affection. Any ideas?

[sideblinded]

Waitingict, I am sorry to hear about your intimacy issues. If your wife is your age, she may have had a decline in her sexual desire. I would try to get her to go to her doctor and see if she may be having hormonal or other conditions that may be getting in the way. Since you have tried marriage and sex counseling then I would at least look at the medical side of this. I hope that this helps.

Welcome to Psych Central

We are a great community of well -wishers and supportive folks.The site has some great features to include a community calendar with weekly announcements to include a resource center.

It takes a little while for your first 5 posts to appear as they are being evaluated by our moderators. Browse the numerous forums and *social groups (*need to join) and post when and where you feel comfortable.

If you need any help in navigating this site feel free to contact a community liaison or moderator.

I wish you the very best here on PC.

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central Waitingict!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator if you need help navigating the forums.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[kaliope]

hi waitingict
well it sounds like you would be a great husband. it would be interesting to hear her side. acting as you described would indicate that she doesnt share the same feelings for you. the question to ask what are you not giving her that she wants? what is missing? what has changed from when she did respond to you? this is the type of stuff that would best be discovered in counseling. i would say give it another try. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[healingme4me]

What were the reasons given, when you both went through counseling?

Have there been any affairs, on either side? Major arguments?

Do you share hobbies, politics, etc, in common?

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[Rose76]

Maybe you need to start playing "hard to get." Act like like you are more interested in doing other things, even if you aren't. Maybe if she gets less attention and reassurance, she'll start looking for more interaction.