I recently found some really good videos about narcissistic people. This one lady explains things very well on youtube.

I have attracted a few narcissistic people in my life, but now I know when to spot one and run! They always look for people who are lonely, vulnerable, empathetic, and naive. You'll never ever be able to change a narcissistic person!

Basically, they lack empathy, they gaslight, they can't tolerate criticism, they expect constant praise and attention, they are stingy, they love to talk about themselves all the time, and they'll often tune out and appear not to be there when you talk to them, they are irresponsible, they often give thoughtless gifts to people that they know well because well, being thoughtful is not in their nature, it's also not unusual to have other disorders, fetishes, odd behaviors and habits, etc...

They are parasites looking for hosts. Does anyone have any stories to share about dealing with a narcissistic person in their life or any other signs to look out for?

[jelly-bean]

Thank You for posting those links. I am sure that we will find them informative and useful!

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

I recently found some really good videos about narcissistic people. This one lady explains things very well on youtube.

I have attracted a few narcissistic people in my life, but now I know when to spot one and run! They always look for people who are lonely, vulnerable, empathetic, and naive. You'll never ever be able to change a narcissistic person!

Basically, they lack empathy, they gaslight, they can't tolerate criticism, they expect constant praise and attention, they are stingy, they love to talk about themselves all the time, and they'll often tune out and appear not to be there when you talk to them, they are irresponsible, they often give thoughtless gifts to people that they know well because well, being thoughtful is not in their nature, it's also not unusual to have other disorders, fetishes, odd behaviors and habits, etc...

They are parasites looking for hosts. Does anyone have any stories to share about dealing with a narcissistic person in their life or any other signs to look out for?

I didn't look at the links you posted, but your own descriptions are so concise and accurate. You, obviously, have experienced the narcissist and know now what to look for! Congrats to you! It took me 3+ years of research and reading to understand that I had been the victim of a narcissist. I didn't stop after that. I had several prior and post this realization narcissists. I realized I had been a "magnet" for narcissistic men all my life! A psychologist/counselor once called my behavior an "addiction." It took me many years thereafter to realize what he said was true. Letting go, breaking the "addiction" to this type of relationship was a slow type of withdrawal. I know, truly, that I could not have done this in my younger days. It is only because I'm older and have lost so much emotionally and financially that I have "sobered up," and become more discerning I'm age 64. Any time I venture out into a social setting and feel myself being attracted to a man, I'm much suspicious....mainly because of the lack of judgment I experienced prior, and which has led me to my current financial status. Had I abstained from seeking company upon my divorce at age 47, my house would be paid off, and I'd be sitting pretty. As it is, I have a mortgage in retirement, as well as other expenses which could have been avoided. This was due to my involvement with Narcissists.
I could go on describing, but basically, I was an "N" magnet.

Originally Posted by jelly-bean

Thank You for posting those links. I am sure that we will find them informative and useful!

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Thanks! I'm going to post a few more links that are pages instead that shows most of the warning signs to look out for in both men, women, family members, and friends.

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I didn't look at the links you posted, but your own descriptions are so concise and accurate. You, obviously, have experienced the narcissist and know now what to look for! Congrats to you! It took me 3+ years of research and reading to understand that I had been the victim of a narcissist. I didn't stop after that. I had several prior and post this realization narcissists. I realized I had been a "magnet" for narcissistic men all my life! A psychologist/counselor once called my behavior an "addiction." It took me many years thereafter to realize what he said was true. Letting go, breaking the "addiction" to this type of relationship was a slow type of withdrawal. I know, truly, that I could not have done this in my younger days. It is only because I'm older and have lost so much emotionally and financially that I have "sobered up," and become more discerning I'm age 64. Any time I venture out into a social setting and feel myself being attracted to a man, I'm much suspicious....mainly because of the lack of judgment I experienced prior, and which has led me to my current financial status. Had I abstained from seeking company upon my divorce at age 47, my house would be paid off, and I'd be sitting pretty. As it is, I have a mortgage in retirement, as well as other expenses which could have been avoided. This was due to my involvement with Narcissists.
I could go on describing, but basically, I was an "N" magnet.

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Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that you went through! That's awful! Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic at first. They are highly skilled at making their victims feel special at first, then comes the devaluation process. Once they no longer need you for something, or you start to call them out on their bad behavior, they discard you and move on to their next victim.

I'm glad to hear that you're finally breaking free of your addiction to these type of parasites. Here are a few links that are just pages that list the main traits in narcissistic people. I think that you should read about what they're like to spot these traits in narcissistic men and other people in order to avoid becoming victimized by them again.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hip-narcissist

18 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

From my own experience, they NEVER apologize for anything! They'll say that it's your fault for everything, and that you're being to sensitive, overreacting, and although they are often critical of others, they can't handle even the slightest criticism. The conversation usually revolves around them no matter what. They need constant approval and praise. They often devalue people who they perceive as being "beneath" them such as service people. They care to much about social status and their image, etc...

[Fuzzybear]

yes I do think so too

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I didn't look at the links you posted, but your own descriptions are so concise and accurate. You, obviously, have experienced the narcissist and know now what to look for! Congrats to you! It took me 3+ years of research and reading to understand that I had been the victim of a narcissist. I didn't stop after that. I had several prior and post this realization narcissists. I realized I had been a "magnet" for narcissistic men all my life! A psychologist/counselor once called my behavior an "addiction." It took me many years thereafter to realize what he said was true. Letting go, breaking the "addiction" to this type of relationship was a slow type of withdrawal. I know, truly, that I could not have done this in my younger days. It is only because I'm older and have lost so much emotionally and financially that I have "sobered up," and become more discerning I'm age 64. Any time I venture out into a social setting and feel myself being attracted to a man, I'm much suspicious....mainly because of the lack of judgment I experienced prior, and which has led me to my current financial status. Had I abstained from seeking company upon my divorce at age 47, my house would be paid off, and I'd be sitting pretty. As it is, I have a mortgage in retirement, as well as other expenses which could have been avoided. This was due to my involvement with Narcissists.
I could go on describing, but basically, I was an "N" magnet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that you went through! That's awful! Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic at first. They are highly skilled at making their victims feel special at first, then comes the devaluation process. Once they no longer need you for something, or you start to call them out on their bad behavior, they discard you and move on to their next victim.

I'm glad to hear that you're finally breaking free of your addiction to these type of parasites. Here are a few links that are just pages that list the main traits in narcissistic people. I think that you should read about what they're like to spot these traits in narcissistic men and other people in order to avoid becoming victimized by them again.

https://www.psychopathfree.com/conte...2-30-Red-Flags

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hip-narcissist

18 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

4 Ways To Spot A Narcissist Before He Becomes Your Boyfriend - The Frisky

10 Ways To Spot A Narcissist On A First Date | Catherine Behan | YourTango

How Do You Identify a Narcissist? | The Narcissistic Life

7 Things Your Narcissist Won?t Tell You | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

5 Sneaky Things Narcissists Do To Take Advantage Of You | Thought Catalog

From my own experience, they NEVER apologize for anything! They'll say that it's your fault for everything, and that you're being to sensitive, overreacting, and although they are often critical of others, they can't handle even the slightest criticism. The conversation usually revolves around them no matter what. They need constant approval and praise. They often devalue people who they perceive as being "beneath" them such as service people. They care to much about social status and their image, they are very good at making you feel as if you're special at first, etc...

[seeker1950]

I realize now, in retrospect, that my relationships with men had been varying degrees of narcissists, but the one that led me to research was a textbook narcissist. When I would deign to question anything of him, a dark shadow would come over his face, and his eyes would become dead.
Very early on in the relationship, after meeting thru Match.com, he began talking of marriage. I was naïve, and we lived almost two hours apart. We began looking at real estate between our two locations, since we were both employed. We found a lovely farm, and made the initial steps to purchase it. The first evidence I should have noticed was during the meeting with the realtor, my partner stated he had nothing to contribute toward the purchase. Like a dummy, I went ahead and signed the agreement. So the purchase was in effect, and the sale of my house came thru! Then...my partner tells me he has been notified by the state of Indiana that his wages are being garnisheed by the IRS and also for back child support! Hearing this news, I realized that the property, which would be purchased in both our names, would be subject to seizure and affected by his status in IRS and back child support, I called the realtor and cancelled the sale of my house (much to the realtor's unhappiness!). After that, the man, my "partner" disappeared!

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I realize now, in retrospect, that my relationships with men had been varying degrees of narcissists, but the one that led me to research was a textbook narcissist. When I would deign to question anything of him, a dark shadow would come over his face, and his eyes would become dead.
Very early on in the relationship, after meeting thru Match.com, he began talking of marriage. I was naïve, and we lived almost two hours apart. We began looking at real estate between our two locations, since we were both employed. We found a lovely farm, and made the initial steps to purchase it. The first evidence I should have noticed was during the meeting with the realtor, my partner stated he had nothing to contribute toward the purchase. Like a dummy, I went ahead and signed the agreement. So the purchase was in effect, and the sale of my house came thru! Then...my partner tells me he has been notified by the state of Indiana that his wages are being garnisheed by the IRS and also for back child support! Hearing this news, I realized that the property, which would be purchased in both our names, would be subject to seizure and affected by his status in IRS and back child support, I called the realtor and cancelled the sale of my house (much to the realtor's unhappiness!). After that, the man, my "partner" disappeared!

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Wow, that guy was definitely looking for a victim to use! Sorry to hear that! From now on, google every guy that you plan to date. If he sounds to good to be true at first, then he probably is. They like to rush relationships and they are highly adept at telling you what you want to hear. They don't like to be "challenged". They'll be secretive and act different around other people at times. They're good actors and liars.

A lot of manipulative men will tell a woman that they want to marry them and have kids with them almost right away. They'll tell you that they love you and that you're special. You can't really love someone that you barely know. That's another red flag to look out for. They'll complain about how all of their ex's were "crazy". They'll also turn on the charm real high and they'll quickly seduce you to get you hooked on them.

Remember, once you stop flattering them and making them feel like they're a priority in their life, their attitude will do a drastic 180. They run hot and cold all the time, especially when they don't get their way. They love to use the silent treatment to punish people. Sometimes they'll throw tantrums when they don't get their way. They're always the victim or the hero in every story.

They hate to be questioned and they are very sensitive to any real or perceived criticism. They need a steady supply of adoration, praise, attention, and anything that you can provide for them. They'll leave you once you stop giving them what they want, or when they feel as if they no longer need you anymore for validation, status, money, etc...

If you haven't checked out the links already, please do so to protect yourself from these predators. Don't reveal to much of yourself and your vulnerable side to early on as they'll use that against you. They are good at finding out how to push your buttons early on. Trust your gut and your instincts. If you get a bad feeling from that person, don't ignore it.

[ChipperMonkey]

Awesome post.

I'm the daughter of a woman who is a narcissist who is the daughter of a man who was a narcissist who was the son of a woman who was a narcissist. (Nobody knows further back than my great grandmother....I don't even know if "narcissism" was a common word so long ago, especially in light of how mental disorders were handled 100+ years ago.) Somehow neither I nor either of my siblings became narcissists. (Yup, I can spot one a mile away, and I'd be able to see it in them, and I've been told more than once by more than one person that i don't fit the bill.)

Its funny, because people say I'm being paranoid when I spot a narcissist, that since I've been exposed to so many over the years that I see narcissism everywhere. So not true. I actually don't see it all that often, but when I do, WHOA! I can spot it in an instant!

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Awesome post.

I'm the daughter of a woman who is a narcissist who is the daughter of a man who was a narcissist who was the son of a woman who was a narcissist. (Nobody knows further back than my great grandmother....I don't even know if "narcissism" was a common word so long ago, especially in light of how mental disorders were handled 100+ years ago.) Somehow neither I nor either of my siblings became narcissists. (Yup, I can spot one a mile away, and I'd be able to see it in them, and I've been told more than once by more than one person that i don't fit the bill.)

Its funny, because people say I'm being paranoid when I spot a narcissist, that since I've been exposed to so many over the years that I see narcissism everywhere. So not true. I actually don't see it all that often, but when I do, WHOA! I can spot it in an instant!

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Thanks, and sorry to hear about your unfortunate family history- You and your siblings got lucky with the way that you all turned out- So, how can you spot a narcissistic person from a mile away? I'd like to know what signs you notice that scream red flags so that I can learn to spot them a lot quicker too!