What do loners post on facebook?

I’ve recently started to use my fb profile. I opened my profile in 2011, but never posted anything, not even a picture. I just used it to get informed about school and now college. When I was in high school, my classmates used to make remarks about me not using my profile. But back then my anxiety was much worse so I didn’t try to make an online presence.
So now that I’m a little better (at least when it comes to my social anxiety), I was looking at other people’s profiles. And obviously since this is social media, people post pictures with their friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, families etc. And that got me depressed since I don’t have close relations with anybody. Anyways I tried to look for other options, like writing statuses or posting songs or liking articles. But all of that just seems pointless to me.
I think that me wanting to make this effort, to try to function online(to chat, to post things online, to like someone’s picture, etc ) is just sign that I’ve become desperate because I fantasize about making friends through fb, reunite with some family members, even try to meet a guy I can date. But at same time I’m aware that I’ve pushed (almost) everyone out. Still at least I would want to apologize to some people for some of the things I did and I think fb could actually be the only way.

I don't post much on Facebook either. I never do anything worth posting. I mostly on check it to find out what my daughter is doing and a few friends. The instant messaging on Facebook could help you with your apologies, I guess but it would also work if you just wrote a note or called them. Some of us just aren't social butterflies. I'm like you though, I wish I could relate to other more, but I just can't get the hang of it.

I'm really glad that you posted on PC.

everything I post on fb is impersonal and interest related. sometimes a cat pic but never family, myself nor do I post life happenings. As much as people would like to think privacy settings on fb is enough I don't believe it's nearly as protected as they want you to believe.

Making friends, and reconnecting to old ones is not an act of desperation it's normal if you're a person that is not so social IRL. I dont' see it as a bad thing and it could lead to making new connections and finding friends to meet in real life maybe at some point.

Post what you want to share, thre really are no rules to it. whatever you want to say about yourself and your life, whatever you want your circles or the public to understand or know about you.. post as little or as much as you see fit. And again as personal as you are comfortable with but just be cautious and informed that once it's out there, it's there pretty permanently and can be data mined.

I don't have facebook page and never been on facebook. No I am not backwards or socially inept, I just don't want it. I know I'll spend too much time on it. There is no rule you have to use fb at all

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The other side of your Facebook presence that you can't really see is all the times you "like" something someone else posts or comment on their posts. It takes back-and-forth to make Facebook work and maybe you want to start off just letting other people know that you see them and hear what they are saying.

If you become FB friends with family or friends that you haven't seen for a while, reminiscing usually becomes part of that connection. Even if you don't say anything about it overtly, when you see that person's name, you will find yourself remembering the past.

Sometimes remembering the past doesn't feel good and almost everyone has at least one friend who overshares with photos. Religion and politics also may be discussed.

I think Facebook can be good, but you may find that you need to avoid it when your mental health isn't at its best. I don't think it's always a helpful thing.

Maybe start off by realizing that Facebook is pretty fake to begin with? That way you can stop feeling pressure to post things. Many people are private and don't feel the need to broadcast every moment of their lives....in that sense, not being active on social media doesn't make you an antisocial loner, rather, it just means you like privacy. I think that if you really start to use Facebook more and more, you'll see what I mean. People only post the good stuff, the happy stuff and make themselves look perfect, or use it as a way to complain about the most idiotic things in the world (which just makes them look stupid). I have stopped using Facebook a number of times, but stupidly I go back....only to MAJORLY regret it later. Then again, I'm a pretty honest person and I hate any hint of fakery, so social media really isn't my cup o tea.

Guess to answer what to post, maybe take a pic of random things that spark your interest, add a quippy line and just gradually build into what makes you unique and comfortable?

I don't think you're a loner Shy you have all of us (based on the title)

A friend of mine posts a lot about her dog and activities related to that. Many others do the same

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gayleggg, thanks for the reply. I was thinking the same thing about trying to do the apologies through instant messaging. I'll just have to mentally prepare myself first, do some breathing exercises, think about what to write etc.
I don't how it is in the USA, but from what I've seen people naturally don't socialize that much as they age. For instance my parents don't have active social lives, even though they don't have any mental issues. When people start getting married and having children, they turn their attention to family and work. They only see their friends during the hollidays.
s4ndm4n2006, I agree with you about facebook not having enough privacy. But since every trend comes late where I live, not everyone know the potential dangers of posting personal information. I'm aware of that only because I've been reading articles online about crimes people have done through the internet in the USA. That's another reason why I was so against facebook. Now that I've started to post stuff, I still keep my personal info private, like I don't give out where I live, my date of birth, name of the high school where I graduated. If someone knows me personally, they would know that.
divine1966 , thanks for the reply. I didn't mean to offend you. OK, you don't want to use fb. It's fine. But if you remember how it was to be young , you would understand that at that age people pressure you and don't accept you if you don't do all the things they're doing. Maybe people understand that everyone is an individual and should choose which activities or things they like or want to do when they're in their 30's and 40's. I really hope so.
jo_thorne, first off that's some good insight. And second I can understand why it wouldn't be good for my mental health.
ChipperMonkey, I can see your point. Yes, facebook is pretty fake, but so are the people in my surrounding. I don't like hypocrisy either, I wish there were more honest people.
Thanks for the suggestions, healingme4me and divine1966. I'll take them into account.
Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Keyslost. I don't think I've ever been on a forum where there are so many nice and accepting people. It's a shame I don't have internet connection throughout the whole year, maybe I would've hanged around here more.

On the one hand I would agree that people on facebook can be fake and put up only happy things and good things at times but that is not unlike people in social circles IRL. There are fake people wherever you go and we all put on personas no matter what the medium is or if it is RL. The people that are fake on fb are the same people that would act nice and be fake to your face more than likely.

If one realizes it is never an accurate picture of anyone's entire life and keeps that fact in reference to what they see on FB you'll be fine, but if you take everything to heart and believe that you are seeing the whole person, you're going to be mislead and get into trouble. But again this is the same as if you look at any online connections. There is just far too much you don't know aobut the people you connect to only while on the internet.

I don't think this is the biggest problem with fb at all, because that idea is inherent on the internet across the board.

You're welcome! glad you think so

I use Facebook as a source of amusement. I just come up with random inappropriate and weird things to say, which usually A) horribly offend people or B) makes them laugh uproariously. Either reaction is fine with me. That's just the way I am, always cracking jokes, and my sense of humor can be a little dark at times.

I'd say just be yourself. If you're weird, be weird. If you're funny, be funny. If you're intelligent, try to start intelligent conversations. It's your Facebook account, make it whatever you want.

Why would I feel offended? I don't see you posting anything offensive.

I was just saying that if you feel pressured to have fb page even if you have nothing to post you shouldn't! I am social and have real life friends but don't want to have fb. I already spend too much time online.

Yes I get pressured too but who cares? I find it more beneficial to spend time with real people. Or read a book of no one is around. Why feel pressured to have a page? Or to post anything, just to post?

I don't think it is anything to do with age, I am not old lol all my friends (my age) and colleagues have facebook pages, just I don't. It isn't age related.

And I did whatever the heck I wanted when I was young too! I am not very Main stream. I don't see how you would be less or more accepted by having fb page .



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That is exactly what I do!!!
Photography is a hobby of mine, so I always have a camera with me. I take pictures of things that are silly, or catchy my eye and post those.

Sometimes writing out an apology, then tearing it up, is effective. Actions over time, add up to display change. Not sure if that helps, just thinking hard about the meaning of apologies as a whole.

If you "force" yourself to use Facebook or social media, you're probably not going to have a good experience. I don't really like social media, but I have to use it due to the nature of my career. I really don't use it socially at all.

You don't need to feel bad about your lack of a social media presence. For most people, their obsession with it is unhealthy. In fact, studies have shown that use of social media and feelings of loneliness increase on a parallel.

Big surprise, right? People feed tons of energy and time into "looking happy, popular, and successful" on Facebook, while all the time depriving themselves of actual experiences, friendships, and joy. Do you really want to be one of those people who take a picture of every freakin' meal they order at a restaurant? No...because those people can't enjoy anything without knowing that all of their "Facebook friends" know about it. It's pretty shallow, really.

^^^ this. Especially the bold faced part. I dunno about the study related to loneliness but I can see how some may feel less adequate, more lonely etc... in their life looking at all the stuff people post on fb.

Me, I use it daily but if someone on my friends list is one to over share, and posts personal crap multiple times a day, I typically unfollow them just because I don't want to know every little detail of everyone's life. Anyone I am that interested in is probably a close friend that I talk to daily anyway. XD Probably why fb doesn't affect me so much negatively. It's non personal use.