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#1
May 10, 2015, 12:00 PM
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I've written a few posts about my mom on this site so I'll keep it very short for those of you who don't know. My mom was abusive and was not very involved in my life for many years. Today is mother's day and I've been having anxiety all day because I need to call her very soon and wish her a happy mother's day and talk to her. I'm even experiencing a fast heart beat just leading up to this phone call. I don't want to talk to her, I barely want anything to do with her, but I'm really trying to be the bigger person and just do it so I don't regret it later out of societal guilt.
Also I need to say "sorry" to her because she lost her dad (my grandpa, who was also a deadbeat parent, left her at age 3) and saying "sorry" to her just makes me revolt. She's never once said sorry to me in all the years of pain and abandonment she's created. I know it might sound trivial but it's upsetting to me. She didn't even call me on my birthday once. She also didn't even call me when grandpa died last week. I had to find out through my sister. I left my mom a voice message about it and she didn't call me back. It's just ridiculous to me. 
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
 aebb2802, Bill3, connect.the.stars, hannabee, Hexagram, hvert, kindachaotic, Open Eyes
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#2
May 10, 2015, 12:07 PM
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To all of us who are struggling to get through mother's day ...
I know it's hard, especially for those of us whose primary abuser was their mother. Sending good thoughts and warm hugs of support and encouragement your way. 
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| connect.the.stars
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#3
May 10, 2015, 12:33 PM
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I know how it feels, I have an abusive mother in my childhood too.
I also have a thread on it, and I share about my childhood and how it still effects me as an adult. http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...ackground.html Mother's Day is today in USA, I want to say I love all mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day to all the mom and mom-to-be out there! Whether good or bad mother, I still love you because you bring me to this world. This lifetime I'm unfortunate because I don't have a loving mother. All my life and still is subconsciously, I yearn for a loving mother; a mother that I know I don't have and never had. I know there are good mother out there, there mother who sacrifice their everything for their children. I love you, your chidlren is very lucky to have you. I admire you! I wish my next life when reincarnation, I will have a loving mother like you. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!!  I love you mom and love all the mother out there!
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 Angelique67, hannabee, Trippin2.0
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#4
May 10, 2015, 02:08 PM
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I called her twice just now, left two voice messages. No answer.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
| Bill3
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#5
May 10, 2015, 02:18 PM
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I'd say you've done your part! ... That phone line runs both ways!
You're off the hook now! No Pun Intended ... 
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#6
May 10, 2015, 02:34 PM
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((CosmicRose)),
It sounds like your mother doesn't "know how" to connect and that is sad, sad for her, sad for you too. You did what you could and you called and left her a message, she may not know how to respond. Again, sad for her, sad for you. Unfortunately, that is what happens with people and the best we can do is to find our own way to our personal healing and realizing what it means and that it never meant you were not worthy of having a closer relationship with your mother. |
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#7
May 10, 2015, 08:21 PM
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Sorry all who suffer today. My t says there is no obligation to spent any time or call toxic relatives. It's ok to avoid them. If it Triggers you you don't have to call but I understand it is hard
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#8
May 11, 2015, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
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#9
May 11, 2015, 04:38 AM
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Quote:
I always felt guilty doing that. Until my t said it could be hard but there are no rules you must see and call your dad. You don't. My family was guilting me into calling my dad but every time i did he said something offensive. My t said they could be upset but you don't need to call if he is offensive. That's the first time someone said it, people always said you must do this and that because they are your parents. Hmm it is liberating to know that you don't need to. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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