Few issues girl new girlfriend

I have been dating this new girl for almost 1.5 months now. She is great, very good personality, honest and modest. She left me impression that she is committed person with noble character. She was with her last boyfriend for 4 years and they broke up because she had serious life-threatening operation that involved tumor removing and he couldnt support her during this time. She doesnt drink at all and very opposite of "wild party girl" image, that i despise. She has good relationships with both of her parents, that also says a lot about her, because i think many cheaters have psychological issues that stem from bad relationships with parent, especially with a father, if we talk about a girl. So, she had great relationship with her father, as far as i know. Her parents are not divorced like mine and have been living together for more than 20 years, so she saw example of commitment in her life.
Basically, the only red flag (if it is) i saw about her is her...best friend. Its a guy and she said that they were best friend for almost 10 years, they knew each other from children's camp. This guy doesnt have girlfriend as far as i know. She showed me picture of his and i must say that he is pretty handsome. From what i heard from her - they are good friends and talk almost everyday via social media. Sometimes he gives her rides to home on his car (last time it happened, she was in his car exactly for 20 minutes, that was no more than car ride required, i noted the time) and sometimes she visit him in his home, she said that she was on his mother birthday and they played playstation a little. She says that this guy not very smart and pretty arrogant, she told me that he uses bad pickup lines and thinks that all girls are more stupid than guys and i guess his arrogance prevents from getting girlfriend. Anyway, i got jealous about this. I've read that if all the friends of a girl are guys that it is red flag. If i understood right, she has one female friend, but she left in another town and they see each other few times per yer. And this guy is pretty much her best friend and the only one male friend, because they live close to each other. I wonder if i should ask her if they had any sexual relations in the past. She most probably say that they had not, but there is tiny chance that she will say that they had, but no anymore. And this answer i wont be able to handle well enough. Im kind of insecure person and it would bother me a lot. Maybe i should remain in obscurity for the sake of our relationship, because it matter to me a lot? Also, the one thing i learned from my past relationship - it doesnt make sense to try and control someone relationship. If i would ask her to stop communication with this guy, she not only will remain communicating with him, but also will be see me as controlling and manipulative guy.
So my questions are:
1. Should i ask her if they had anything sexual in the past (the answer might mess with my obsessive mind) and if they had, how should i react to it? If i should ask her, in which manner i should do it so she wont think that im insecure and jealous?

Another issue:
Recently i was diagnosed with prostatitis. This condition might make me less sexually attractive. Men with this condition almost always have premature ejaculation. It also has another health issues that diminish quality of my life. Question is - should i tell her about it? Its kind of delicate thing and im not sure if she has to know about it all.

Firstly, I call bullshyt about the male friends issue.

Most of my friends growing up were guys until we all reached marrying age and their wives didn't want me around.

My first ever bff was a boy, Andy we met when we were 4 years old. I thought we would be friends forever, I loved him like my very own brother, but I sadly lost him to the junky lifestyle when we hit our teens.

Please note, I did NOT sleep with any of my male friends, we all grew up together, because contrary to popular belief BOYS & GIRLS CAN BE FRIENDS.

The only close male friends I have now is my bf and a few relatives, but that's due to other peoples insecurities and controlling behavior, the friendships never soured.

Secondly, it's none of your business who your gf has had sex with!!! That's private information, I repeat, PRIVATE. And even if she was willing to share, you've admitted you wont be able to handle hearing that they have a sexual history.

So what would be the point of asking this question?

Because if its peace of mind your after, its not her job to give it to you, she's done nothing wrong, and if you're looking for ways to torture yourself, best do that solo as well.

You know that saying, curiosity killed the cat?

Well
Morbid obsessive curiosity killed the relationship.

Your gf's past is behind her, leave it there where it belongs.



I can't for the life of me figure out why people insist on creating problems where there are none.

The sexual condition stuff?
Now that's an actual relationship topic because its current, it's relevant and it affects you both.

But that I would only bring up when you actually reach that level of intimacy. This is of course assuming you two haven't had sex with each other yet

Who knows, maybe tomorrow you decide you're not confident enough to have a gf who has guy friends and you bail before you even have sex.


Seriously, every relationship has there challenges, enjoy your honeymoon phase instead of creating drama, theres enough of that in the future 😊

You shouldn't ask her that question at this point. Maybe you should ask her to introduce you to this guy instead and that way you can all be friends, and then all those jealous feelings will go away.

Agree with the other posters about the rest of this but I need to comment on this. Prostatitis is simply an infection of the prostate and is not a permanent condition. I'm not sure why you would think it makes you less sexually attractive?

That men almost always have premature ejaculation is simply inaccurate.

It is an infection and again, it is not a permanent condition, and most men under 50 suffer from this at one time or another according to reports that I've found. My prostatitis passed without any resulting problems following.

Perhaps you looked up the wrong condition?

Prostatitis (Inflammation of the Prostate Gland) Symptoms, Causes, Treatment - What is the treatment for prostatitis? - MedicineNet

i don't think you should ask her if she had sex with this guy, really its not your business and even if she did, what good would it do now?

I think that given the fact that your woman has stated that he isn't very smart and he's arrogant is a big clue into just how NOT into him she is. Women and men are often on different wavelengths when it comes to attraction. Guys tend to think more strictly in terms of physical attraction (as you are doing now, which is why you feel jealous), but women are much more attracted to the mind as well (which is why your woman is not into her guy friend at all). And I'm not trying to stereotype, this is just how I see things. You probably see him as an attractive male, but speaking as a female, when a guy is dumb as a box of rocks, he suddenly looses his physical appeal and isn't attractive in the least.

I also think it would be a good idea for you to work on your own insecurity issues. Your woman has a right to have male friends. If you become jealous and make things bad between her and her friend, that's really not good. (It can be seen as abusive to isolate a partner from his/her friends.)

Chippermonkey makes some excellent points here.

I suggest you read and re-read her post multiple times, until it sinks in.

I just love the expression "dumb as a box of rocks".

That's funny. Personally, I like "dumber than a post".