seeing a married man

I agree with this wise poster. Please end it!!

Hi Pearl I am not going to lecture nor condem you. I think from what I read you feel bad enough. As you are unhappy and know this is a dead end for you maybe it is best to seek a therapist to help you end this affair. To help you find what need it may be filling and fill it with something more positive

I guess I have a different take on the married man's wife...

She needs too know. Not to cause undue pain to her - rather be informed - she may also want to have herself tested. Who knows who else this "man" has slept with...

I don't think it should be you - he needs to come clean with his wife. You could always tell him that if he doesn't come clean with her that you will - set a deadline.

Whether he actually tells her or not will be hard to say. Hopefully you won't have to step in - in an anonymous way...

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Direction said:
I guess I have a different take on the married man's wife...

She needs too know. Not to cause undue pain to her - rather be informed - she may also want to have herself tested. Who knows who else this "man" has slept with...

I don't think it should be you - he needs to come clean with his wife. You could always tell him that if he doesn't come clean with her that you will - set a deadline.

Whether he actually tells her or not will be hard to say. Hopefully you won't have to step in - in an anonymous way...

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<font color="purple">Let me try this again...got booted.....

I agree with Direction, the wife should know that her husband is having sex with someone other than her b/c her health and maybe her life may be at risk!

Pearly, get out of this relationship now.... He is in it for himself and doesn't care about you, only that you boost his ego.... Change your screen names or block him, change your numbers or block him, do not accept any emails/snail mail, calls from this man.... I know just how easy it is to allow yourslef to get sucked back in to the fantasy of an affair and it isnt healthy for you..... But I think you already have answered those questions for yourself and know that the only healthy option you have is to end it right now! </font>

well, i missed it big time on the STD issue. the wife has to be told and he should have a timeline to do it............pat

Pearly, get out of this relationship now....

<font color="purple"> My error, meant to say Curly.... not pearly.... I am so sorry.... my boo boo....</font>

When I was in that mode I got a new job and that got me new "interests" and people to see and helped the depression a lot and eventually I met a new man too who could love me.

has she been back whats going on, hoping everything is okay

I think I understand your dilemma. This is not simply an intellectual thing. You are probably very very attached to him. Attachment has biological elements and makes breaking up with people very difficult. However, you do need to do this for yourself. I doubt you are the first GF or the last. He is a player. Ya gotta let him go.