[xrxex]

Okay, so I'm hoping that some people can chime in and give me advice.

I met a girl some months ago and something about me immediately attracted me to her. I can honestly say that the way I feel about her I can't even begin to describe. I look back and joke about love at first sight, but I can tell you that meeting her that day I knew I would be in love with her(if that makes any sense). Anyways, fast forward months to the point where we are now. I'm so into her, and I mean I love everything about her, but she's very insecure. Now I know this stems from previous relationships with her being put down(no idea why). She's is so beautiful, and though I tell this to her all the time I feel that she just brushes it off. She's insecure about her body and when she brings up stuff about it I reassure her, that she has a beautiful body which she honestly does. Then it puts her in a bad mood.

Now this is the part that is starting to hurt me more and more. When she's in a bad mood or upset she seems pretty cold towards me.

In one instance she asked what type of girls I liked, and I honestly have no direct answer for this. If I'm attracted to somebody, I'm attracted. I don't have a type. So the only way I could think to answer this was give her the links to some cam girls I used to watch when I was single. This was a HUGE mistake and it was thrown in my face the following few days. After that she went on to compare herself to those girls. I tried to joke and tell her that if she was on that site she would of been the only girl I would of watched.

In all honesty, those girls couldn't even compare to her in my eyes. I'm the type of guy who when in a relationship commits 110%. I don't pay attention to other girls or even notice other girls. My best friend and even other people around me see how much I love my girl. My problem is that the only person that I want to see how much I'm in love, doesn't see it.

I'm just feeling lost to the point I feel stupid right now because I'm so in love and at times I feel like it's only one sided. I just want to help her get over her insecurities and show her that I'm here to stay and not going anywhere.

Thanks for any help/advice in advance.

[healingme4me]

That's a tough situation, to be in.

There's a lot of focus on the outside self. Could be the culture she was raised in, where outside appearance matters more than everything else, a culture of objectification, perhaps? When dealing with such constructs, unless the person, your gf in this case, learns to love themselves, she's truly setting herself up to sabotage the relationship.

Not certain what advice to give to get her to see that. Maybe talk about fear of eventually pushing you away, because insecure behaviours will wear down a partner and breed resentment.

Maybe couples counseling?

[xrxex]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

That's a tough situation, to be in.

There's a lot of focus on the outside self. Could be the culture she was raised in, where outside appearance matters more than everything else, a culture of objectification, perhaps? When dealing with such constructs, unless the person, your gf in this case, learns to love themselves, she's truly setting herself up to sabotage the relationship.

Not certain what advice to give to get her to see that. Maybe talk about fear of eventually pushing you away, because insecure behaviours will wear down a partner and breed resentment.

Maybe couples counseling?

I thought about the talk about eventually pushing me away, but I'm worried that may only cause more harm than good. I'll try to work up the subject without being bluntly obvious and see how it turns out.