[seeker1950]

I want to address this issue about recovery, since some here may be experiencing devastating loss and hurt.
I have experienced this several times myself over the past 10 years since my divorce. Each time I felt totally crippled by emotional pain and it took immense will to just put one foot in front of the other, to go about the duties of my job as a teacher, and to have the most minimum life.
I am here to tell you that time will heal you, if you work at it!

After a 20 year unhappy marriage, I thought it was my time, and time to find fulfillment. It didn't happen and with each failed relationship, it took me a good three years to recover.
I did seek counseling in the first two. With the third, I just came here to PC...feeling humiliated and devastated.

I can tell you now, anyone who is hurting, that you WILL eventually heal. One wants it to go away immediately. It doesn't. I liken it to a physical wound, maybe worse though, as it took me a very long time to stop obsessing on what I did wrong...why it failed, why the person wasn't as reciprocal as I was in devotion. When it finally starts to pass, and you begin thinkng about other things, living your life again, feeling good about yourself, it is a blessing.

I guess my point in posting this is that TIME is the great healer.

Love
Patty

[Direction]

I would combine time with letting go of the bitterness towards the person for things you feel they should have done.

As I let go little by little (which takes time), I'm finding it to be true...

[seeker1950]

Interesting, Direction!
I've never felt bitterness...just loss and self-blame, though I wasn't the one at fault!
Patty

[Direction]

I thought I wasn't bitter towards my ex - it took a lot of time to realize that I was. I look at her differently now.

Not an evil person who made me miseable, but a person with her own struggles trying to do the best she can.

[seeker1950]

It sounds like you have done a lot of hard work, Direction!
I've pm'd you.
Patty

[January]

One of the sayings that have helped me survive is:

<font color="blue">"This too, shall pass." </font>

It does pass and we heal. I think emotional pain is sometimes much worse than physical pain.

Jan

[seeker1950]

I so agree, January!
Patty

emotional pain eats at your gut. you can take a Bayer for physical pain, but there ain't no med for a broken heart. the loss of a person that you trusted, loved and was there for, is devastating for some. it was for me.

i have HUGE trust issues and will take them to my grave. but i am better than i was.

thanks, Patty, for starting this thread. xoxox pat

[sabby]

Now matter how a heart is broken, there is a mourning period we go through for what was and what could have been. But you are right, time does heal wounds. There are sometimes scars left, but they can be used for good as well as bad. I've tried to use my scars as a reminder of what I may have done wrong and how not to repeat the mistake. I wear them proudly, I am not ashamed of them. They have helped me to become the person I am today along with all the good that has happened in my life too.

To everyone who has suffered a broken heart ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

J

i don't think i would change much. it's made me a much stronger person, Sabau2........pat