[brokenandalone1234]

Let me start by saying I have no real proof and the proof may of been sent to the wrong person. My fiancé is asleep right now and he got a text message so me being who I am I got up and checked it. It was from a friend he told him to wake up and make some money and then said Happy Father's Day I heard you had a baby. The only problem is we have no kids and I am not pregnant. He has no children that I am aware of. I want to ask him about it when he gets up but I don't know how to confront him about it. I never thought this would be something I would have to worry about. How do I ask him about it without coming off crazy?

[Perna]

I would just say something like, "John texted you while you were sleeping" and see what he says. If he doesn't get all crazy with his response trying to be casual too hard after he's read it, I'd leave it, assume it is an inside joke between he and his friends and/or wait other developments.

[brokenandalone1234]

That's the best way to do it but knowing me and my anxiety I will go crazy. I have met this friend a couple times and usually with any of his friends who he has inside jokes with they say them in front of me and explain to me that it's an inside joke. I may be reading too deep in to this because of my bp and anxiety.

[hpocus]

I would be annoyed as all heck that someone checked my messages without my permission. That stated, you said it was a friend. Perhaps it was a prank? Maybe they're talking about some lame thing, like a new grill or something.

The mistrust seems to be about you. Figure out what's going on with you before you go accusing your fiance of cheating. If I was on the receiving end of that accusation, knowing you're snooping and looking for evidence, I would say you don't trust me enough and I would break up with you. Not what you want you want to hear, I'm sure. But seriously, get a grip before you screw everything up.

[brokenandalone1234]

Ok first hpocus my fiancé already knows I go through his phone. I wasn't looking for cheating proof. His cousin's husband is supposed to come fix my car today so I thought it may of been him texting my fiancé to let him know when he was coming to do it. I just happened across the message. My fiancé knows I have trust issues. It's not just him I have trust issues with it's every single person in my life. I keep my guard up with every person I know.

[Perna]

If you look at the message, it's a bit odd for being literal? "Wake up and make some money" on a Sunday? And, "I hear you had a baby" -- it's like they haven't talked to one another in awhile? Wouldn't a friend know if there was going to be a baby? Do you have any pets or is he mentoring anyone on a work project or in some other situation where the slang idea of "baby" would work? A new idea that could make money in the future and the "wake up and make some money" a message to "get going"? If your boyfriend is comfortable with your reading his texts, etc. I would ask him something simple like, "what is John talking about?" If it is a real baby, he'll have trouble coming up with a different scenario as his focus will be on not seeing pink elephants and that's all he will see

[brokenandalone1234]

I flipped out completely on him. He is mad at me now. I think I really did read to deep into it. I am just really insecure. We do have two cats. I just always feel like I am not good enough for him. I think I read into it too deep because I have been hurt so many times by men and I feel like since I don't feel like I am good enough that it's just a matter of time before he does the same thing.

[Perna]

Were you able to gauge his response at all or too flipped? Being mad at you would be an "easy" response and way to avoid helping you with your worries. Can you apologize to him for flipping out and ask him if the two of you can discuss the situation calmly? Tell him you would like his help managing and getting over your insecurities. Asking someone for their help; the only person who would turn that request down would be someone who could not or was not willing to help.

The old joke is no less true: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you.

If he's okay with your looking at his texts, I think he should understand that you'd want an explanation for that one. It's pretty odd. Did he explain what it means?

[divine1966]

Instead of explaining he got mad? Hmm red flag right there

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[somethingasdf]

Your fiance might have friends like mine; we always joke about random babies floating around on father's day. These are just totally harmless jokes.

I would be more concerned about the "wake up and make money" thing... you might be dating a man-hooker or drug dealer.