[lady411]

So my very-loving big-hearted HB allowed a family member of his to stay at our small two bedroom home "just for a couple of nights" without my consent. FYI: He is facing time for some charges that could put our family in danger if some ppl found out where he was staying. His promise to us was that no one would know where he is and he would not have any visitors M or F. He was 1st staying on the couch but is now staying at a storage room in the ball which we converted into my office.
We have 3 children (incl. nfant) & I work from home. It has now been a couple of MONTHS and he finally set a move out date.
Yesterday he asked if he could invite a lady friend over to visit. I was completely opposed to it for a number of reasons.
Q: Am I being immature or old fashioned?

[~Christina]

I think your being far more kind and understanding than I would be..... to be honest.

Just being worried about someone finding out where he is staying would scare the hell out of me.

Ladyfriend??!! Hell no no just NO. He can go to her place.

Your not immature or old fashion.

You have done more than enough for him.

[seesaw]

Um, no. You are not being unreasonable at all. I'm surprised you've put up with it as long as you have. You have to be careful with people "staying" with you, because they can gain rights as a resident after a certain number of days, regardless if they pay rent or not, and then you have to do an official eviction process to get them out.

Absolutely not to the lady friend coming over. It's a small house and you have small children there. He can go to her place.

Seesaw

[MickeyCheeky]

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable.. quite the opposite actually.

[WhatsNextNow]

He is facing charges which could put your family in danger. That is the biggest flashing red light. What would happen if your told your HB that you want this person gone ? Get him gone, lady friend visitors or not.

[lady411]

Originally Posted by WhatsNextNow

He is facing charges which could put your family in danger. That is the biggest flashing red light. What would happen if your told your HB that you want this person gone ? Get him gone, lady friend visitors or not.

In the first few weeks, every time I brought up the topic about wanting him out my HB would get really defensive & avoid it (yesterday i found out that initially he presumed that his cousin would move out within a week or so). It was a very stressful time for me because it was during the holidays & I felt a huge invasion of privacy. About 3 weeks ago is when we were finally able to discuss it more openly. He spoke to him & they came to an agreement for a move out date of end of March.

[hvert]

The end of March can't come fast enough, right?! You are very tolerant imo!

[lady411]

Originally Posted by hvert

The end of March can't come fast enough, right?! You are very tolerant imo!

Definitely counting the days. We have only been together about 4 yrs but love each other very much. It was a mistake that with good communication & understanding should never repeat itself.

This brings me to the question of whether I should create a moving contract 30 days prior to move out date. Something which i know will stir up an argument with HB if brought up.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by lady411

Definitely counting the days. We have only been together about 4 yrs but love each other very much. It was a mistake that with good communication & understanding should never repeat itself.

This brings me to the question of whether I should create a moving contract 30 days prior to move out date. Something which i know will stir up an argument with HB if brought up.

I think you need to research legally what you need to do. Do you need to give him 30 days written notice? What are you going to do on March 31 when he doesn't move out? Sorry, I've seen too many friends allow family or so-called friends to bunk with them and then they won't leave, and then by that time they've established residence. This brother has stayed long enough to now be considered a resident. You legally will have to evict him if he doesn't leave on his own. And you can't just call the cops. Now that he's established residence, regardless of paying rent or not, he is entitled to be there.

Seesaw