[Macd123]

Okay so there's another holiday coming up and I got no plans. I've always felt like odd man out because I don't have a wife or kids so family get togethers were awkward. I always felt like I had to scream at people to get their attention - they were usually polite but it made for creepy banter. The last few years I've started making up excuses to not participate in holidays because it just isn't fun and I'm not a young man anymore so it's sort of embarrassing. Besides a lot of the close relatives are dead so I'm not really missed. I'm just tired of trying to act like I have something to do on the holidays - my holidays usually consist of TV watching and a meal. The eerie thing is I feel I'm beyond really trying to make any effort to re-establish any tradition. I'm way too old to start a family and I'm not really religious so most holidays to me are kinda silly. However, that does not dismiss the gaping hole I have when you see everyone else involved with the festivities. So here I am on the bench alone where I've always been the only problem now is the road ahead looks less promising than it ever has. Happy 4th everybody.

[curley]

Hi Macd, It sounds like, despite some of the "creepy banter" you really would like to get involved with others for holidays. I understand the part about getting older and not having a lot of relatives, I am kind of in the same boat. Is it possible for you to make your own holidays with new friends? Do you have a job or belong to any group? Maybe you could start your own traditions with new people. Possibly your new associations will have more in common with you.
I hope you are able to find a solution. I hope I helped!!!

[healingme4me]

I agree that if you want participation in holidays, make your own. I'm sure you could find plenty of people that don't have big holiday plans. They exist.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

I feel that emptiness too :/ and I got the hubby, kid and do holiday stuff because it's expected. Are people really enjoying themselves as much as it appears? idk. Maybe I need to drink more lol

If you like the idea of making your own holiday tradition, a non-traditional holiday like cinco de mayo or spring equinox avoids conflict with others established traditions. Plus it's easier to invite a wide variety of people to something fun and different like that; casual acquaintances, co-workers, friends and/or family.

I don't know if that's something I'd do, I really like the idea, but my social circle is small. The older I get, the harder it is to meet new people. It takes deliberate effort. I read something once that suggested actively seeking others who may be lonely or in a difficult situation. My first reaction to that was feeling like that might be manipulative or exploitive or something. Anyway, years later this person I knew very casually via mutual friends was getting a divorce. We were already FB friends and I knew she was nice and funny. So I sent her a PM that simply said I couldn't imagine what she was going thru, but if she wanted to go out for drinks and rage about what a *&#$ her about to be ex was, it was my treat. We're not best buds now or anything, but now I consider her a friend, not an acquaintance, and we get together a couple times a year for drinks or a movie. I never would have done that, if I hadn't read that thing years ago.

I hope you've got an entertaining movie ondemand or a good series to marathon through lined up, along with some yummy, treat yourself takeout

[Cat_Lover_58]

I'm lucky in that I work most holidays-I'm in retail/service industry. I've made a few new friends at work and would continue our friendship if I moved out of this job down the road. My extended family is pretty dysfunctional so getting together is difficult.

I agree with breaking out with a new tradition you might enjoy. I've often thought about volunteering at a nursing home, pet shelter, or food pantry. I do things with my children but they are in college and have boyfriends so often they are with them.

Happy 4th of July to you!!

Cat