[xjterry]

I broke up with my fiancee. I am 33 and he is 35. We were together for 6 years and the last 2 we were engaged. I was the one that left the house because the last months he was has pressure from his job and also he was telling me that I was putting pressure on him. He didn;t want to talk with me and when I was trying to make conversations he was telling that I was nagging and he was leaving.

The day that I left I was calling him to bring some stuff home.I called him around 3 times (in a hour) and he didn't pick up the phone and the fourth time that he answered it, when I asked him were are you he started screaming at me, then he came home he broke up my mobile and he continue to scream and telling me now I will see how you are going to call me. He made me really upset and I told him that it is enought and I am leaving. He didn;t do anything and he left from the house. I took some stuff and I left and came to my parent’s house.

That happened on 26th of May. After 5 days he deleted me from fb and put on that he is single. He didn;t try to contact me and I didn;t contact him as well. After 17 days he came at my parent;s garden and he left bags with my clothes and other stuff, and he called my brother to tell him that he left at the garden my stuff.Again he didn’t contact me.
24 days after I left the house and a week after he brought my stuff he contacted me for first time by a txt in which he was writing next week I will bring you some of your furniture. I called him two days later but he didn't answer my call.. I don't know what to do in order to talk with him and also I cannot understand his behavior

[xjterry]

please help

[divine1966]

Some people just can't do nice break ups. I always made an effort to break up nicely not burn bridges and remain good friends. He clearly not the type, he prefers to do Nasty way. Well you are better off. Imagine you two married and had children and he acted like this? Gee. Consider yourself lucky!

Now was he always this way? Nobody turns nasty in one day.

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[Trippin2.0]

I don't understand


Didn't you say that you're the one who broke it off and moved out?


So what is there to talk about exactly? Seems like you've made your decision.


With that being said, I agree with Divine, looks like you dodged a bullet.

[CopperStar]

It sounds like maybe you were hoping he would come to his senses if you left, and maybe now you feel disappointed. Well hey it's alright. Look anyone who destroys your property even your phone is clearly off their rocker with anger, impulse and violence problems. It is definitely for the best that you move on. Time to take your stuff after he drops it off and start a new life. Good luck to you and congratulations for being brave enough to leave. Many people are not and suffer many terrible years.

[xjterry]

I left after what he did, we were both in anger so I left. We didn't talk like to say it is over. I was hoping that he will become logical and come to me and have a conversation. It is true he was not always like this. He was a totaly different person that was loving and respecting me. But the last months he started to have problems with his job, he was not talking and was blamming me that I was nagging etc Βut I don't think that I was nagging I mean I had exactly the same behavior like I have all the years he was the one that became distant..

Aint no way in hell would I marry that guy. Cut you losses.. get you stuff, and move the heck on.

Hit the gym, the shops, the salon and the bars.

Before all that cry if you need to, 6 gd years girl... I know how you feel, when I broke up with my ex of 6 yrs I was getting all kinds of panic attacks and shiz... I was dying. But ANYWAY. Plenty of fish in the sea. keep swimming.

And based on how he been a nasty jerk up til days later, u better not try to EVER get back with that idiot. From sister, to sister. Let him go

[divine1966]

I left my ex of 9 years last year. He is a nice person and treated me well but is an alcoholic. I am better off alone. . You'll be fine

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[xjterry]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I left my ex of 9 years last year. He is a nice person and treated me well but is an alcoholic. I am better off alone. . You'll be fine

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he texted me today that he is going to announce that we have officialy split up and everything is good…
I called him and he answer the call (1st time talk to him after a month) and I told him that he has to talk with me and not sending me txt that he will make announcements. and he told me that he haven’t got anything to say since we cannot communicate.I told him that he didn’t try to communicate with me at all, he just send me text messages. And I told him that I cannot announce that we broke up since we haven’t talk at all all this period.I asked him to come and talk with me even for the last things, he said he has nothing to tell me. Then he asked me to find a way and send him the keys from the house and I said to him whatever you want come and take it…

[~Christina]

Well, he's really a lousy partner and a sucky human for screaming and breaking things. You left him. GOOD ! Don't try to talk to him and understand his actions. Just be glad you are able to move on with your life and not have to deal with a messy costly divorce.

[divine1966]

As my t says there is no point figuring out why others do what they do, we may never have the answer. All you can do is to think of yourself and your actions do focus on yourself and don't worry about him

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[F3RFA]

Called four times in an hour? Enough said. Just be glad he didn't burn all your things and was nice enough to drop them off for you. People here may coddle you and blame him entirely etc (As is often the case). I am not said people. It didn't work out, now it's time to move on. Silence is one of the loudest messages anyone can hear. Take that to heart and grow from this.

[xjterry]

Originally Posted by F3RFA

Called four times in an hour? Enough said. Just be glad he didn't burn all your things and was nice enough to drop them off for you. People here may coddle you and blame him entirely etc (As is often the case). I am not said people. It didn't work out, now it's time to move on. Silence is one of the loudest messages anyone can hear. Take that to heart and grow from this.

I called 4 times because he called me around 2:30 that he finished the job and he was going to the super market and asked me what to bring home. His job is 10 minutes from the house and the super market next to it..So after we hang up I called him 10 minutes later because I wanted some stuff that I realised that were missing. He didn't answer, I was waiting to call back, he didn't I called him again after 15 minutes...again the same until an hour had passed and he answered the phone and told me that I am going now to the super market... After an hour...so I asked why were have you been? and then he start screaming came home and did what he did. Also he was smelling alcohol... And you are telling me that he had to burn all my stuff because I called 4 times????

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by xjterry

I called 4 times because he called me around 2:30 that he finished the job and he was going to the super market and asked me what to bring home. His job is 10 minutes from the house and the super market next to it..So after we hang up I called him 10 minutes later because I wanted some stuff that I realised that were missing. He didn't answer, I was waiting to call back, he didn't I called him again after 15 minutes...again the same until an hour had passed and he answered the phone and told me that I am going now to the super market... After an hour...so I asked why were have you been? and then he start screaming came home and did what he did. Also he was smelling alcohol... And you are telling me that he had to burn all my stuff because I called 4 times????

It would be inappropriate to call that much to some random dude you just met. But you two are engaged and live together and he isn't answering the phone, not a big deal calling how many times you need. Interesting that he said he was going there an hour ago yet didn't go and didn't answer the phone and smell like alcohol. He then broke your phone????

don't know if he has a drinking problem but I lived with alcoholic and he typically didn't answer the phone when he was drinking. When confronted he would get upset ( guilty over his drinking)

No one has rights to burn your stuff! This guy is bad news. Seriously, move on. I know it hurts but you are better off.


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[healingme4me]

Careful, painting him as having any role in poor behavior. Might get another post painting us here as some group of individuals that cannot consider there are two sides to a story....smh

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by F3RFA

Called four times in an hour? Enough said. Just be glad he didn't burn all your things and was nice enough to drop them off for you. People here may coddle you and blame him entirely etc (As is often the case). I am not said people. It didn't work out, now it's time to move on. Silence is one of the loudest messages anyone can hear. Take that to heart and grow from this.

Isn't it less passive to see a post with a point that you might not agree with, raise a point of your own in dissension than write what you wrote?

[xjterry]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Careful, painting him as having any role in poor behavior. Might get another post painting us here as some group of individuals that cannot consider there are two sides to a story....smh

I never said that there are not two sides of the story. If you ask him he will just say that she broke my nerves because she was calling I went home and I broke her mobile. That is exactly what he told to a friend of us!

[xjterry]

Originally Posted by divine1966

It would be inappropriate to call that much to some random dude you just met. But you two are engaged and live together and he isn't answering the phone, not a big deal calling how many times you need. Interesting that he said he was going there an hour ago yet didn't go and didn't answer the phone and smell like alcohol. He then broke your phone????

don't know if he has a drinking problem but I lived with alcoholic and he typically didn't answer the phone when he was drinking. When confronted he would get upset ( guilty over his drinking)

No one has rights to burn your stuff! This guy is bad news. Seriously, move on. I know it hurts but you are better off.


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The last months because of his job issues he is drinking. He is not drinking everyday but he started drinking at home alone not one or two drinks but more like a bottle of wine. Also when he is going out to drink after his job he never informs me. I mean we both know for example that at 3 we are going be home and eat together. If he decides to go out he will not inform me, I will wait , I will call he will not answer it and when he will come home he will say that I was not answering because you will be start nagging. I have told him a lot of times that I want you to let me know that you will go out for drinks so I will not wait you to eat together and also I will not nag because you will have told me that..

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by F3RFA

Called four times in an hour? Enough said. Just be glad he didn't burn all your things and was nice enough to drop them off for you. People here may coddle you and blame him entirely etc (As is often the case). .

Originally Posted by xjterry

I never said that there are not two sides of the story. If you ask him he will just say that she broke my nerves because she was calling I went home and I broke her mobile. That is exactly what he told to a friend of us!

He admits to breaking your phone.

Trying to sort through relationships that have complicated history isn't easy.
I hear you on your last point about just wanting to plan your life around his alcohol use. It's not easy.