I feel like no man will ever love me.

I only say that because they jump right from one to another. No breaks. No living alone. Nothing.

Keep looking you will find love and if not then love yourself

Well they clearly didn't find the right one, or they wouldn't be jumping from one to another. They probably wished they had only one for life but can't find one. So they keep looking.
At 22 no need to be too upset over finding the one. Do you have friends. Spend time with them, and have fun.

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I can relate to how you feel, ForevahAlone. While I've been in relationships in the past, I've been single for quite a while now (and, clearly, the people I dated were not "the one"). I really want to be in a relationship as well, I put myself out there, I'm in a lot of groups, I volunteer, I get asked out, I go on dates, etc.-- but I'm not meeting anyone I am remotely interested in. It wouldn't be so bad if I had friends who were also single, but all of my friends are partnered and the primary topic of conversation when we hang out together is their relationships. What can I contribute to that conversation? It makes me feel disconnected from my friends because we are having very different life experiences right now. I'm a little older than you are (I'm 30), but I also feel frustrated when people tell me "You're young! It will happen for you! Just be happy being single now!" I find those responses pointless because no one has any way of knowing whether I (or you) will meet someone, fall in love, and have a meaningful relationship. It does not happen for everyone, and no one has a crystal ball that predicts the future. I hope that it will happen for both us, but there are no guarantees. I also find it frustrating when half of the people say "You have to put yourself out there" and the other half are saying "When you stop looking and least expect it, it will find you!" I think they are both equally pointless platitudes. There is no magic formula to finding someone. There is no way to "make" it happen. And, just because it hasn't happened for you, doesn't mean you are doing something wrong or there is something wrong with you. Could you be doing something wrong? Perhaps. I don't know. But, certainly, all the single people in the world are not simultaneously all doing the wrong thing, while all of the married/couple people are out there doing the "right" thing. I mean, if I just wanted to be in ANY relationship, that would be easy. The difficult part is finding the RIGHT relationship; a healthy, happy, meaningful one. I don't know that there is really any advice to be given. There are plenty of coupled people I would NEVER take advice from-- their relationships are disasters! All I can really offer you is support and commiseration. I know how hard it is!

Like the above poster, I'm 31 and dealing with much the same. Male, but same difference. Been in relationships, good ones even, but not for 6 or 7 years now. I got the "you're so young!" stuff in my mid 20s and i'm still getting it in my early 30s. even more insulting sometimes is that "but you're so smart" or "so good looking!", as if that matters when your brain is broken. And really, some people really do live all alone. To me, it's one of those irresponsible, really hands-off ways of encouraging someone to say "you'll find someone someday!"

I've tried dating sites and they're pretty tough on the self-esteem because you can have all of the personality in the world and get zero responses, and if you do get a response, if you don't have passion, drive, high potential, king of independence, well, there are hundreds of others in the online catalogue to choose from. Tried meetups, volunteering, whatever. I've also tried doing nothing to see if it "just happens". It doesn't always just happen.

The only thing i can really offer up as advice is to find ways to legitimately start to enjoy your own company. I'm never "bored" and I don't *need* an activity partner, and that helps with the passage of time... but really, the heart doesn't ever seem to stop wanting.

"Fix yourself first, learn to love yourself first! Be with friends!". And if we don't get better? If we're treatment resistant? Completely isolated? We're not worthy of love and affection or at least, shouldn't worry to much about it, because it'll happen eventually, maybe? Okay.

I realize people are trying to help, but I really don't think it's always helpful. Sorry for the negativity.

I think what's most frustrating to me is that I don't think there is anything that is "wrong" with me; I don't think there is anything that needs to be "fixed." Sure, there are always little ways in which we can improve-- but if we are emotionally/mentally healthy, the capacity to give/nurture in a relationship, self-confidence, a successful career, financial security, hobbies we enjoy, etc-- then what more can we "fix"?

It seems like the more stable we are, the higher our standards are for our partners-- and it's hard to find other singles who (more or less) meet those standards. I get asked out frequently (on dating sites and in RL) but, much of the time, the women asking me out do not have an education/job, their own place to live, the ability to self-care, etc-- or there is simply NO chemistry. I also realize that my pool is smaller because I'm a femme lesbian looking for another femme lesbian. But I'm not interested in settling-- I would rather be alone than with the "wrong" person (been there, done that). But what more can we do to attract/find the kind of partner we really want?

I'm sure that my attitude towards relationships has been turning a bit sour lately due to a host of bad experiences, but I really do tuck those away when I go on dates or go out to groups to meet new people. I really try to stay positive, smile, and put my best foot forward. And I do attract people-- just not the people I'm looking for. I want to be hopeful, but it's really hard!

yeah, i mostly meant to leapfrog on the age and empty platitudes thing from your post, not to imply there's something wrong with you. apologies for that. that was definitely my own soured attitude about my situation - where i've been on top of the world and where the treatment doesn't stick and that's frustrating because with all of the junk quoted, it's almost as if you have no business hoping for love and affection until after you hang out with your friends, have fun and fix - and forget it if you can't "fix" and adapt to the world the right way, NO WONDER you're alone. or you know, wait and it will come to you. it didn't matter if i was 23 or 31 or doing fantastically in life or having a harder time. and another 7 or 8 years are gonna pass just as quickly. so the empty platitudes and the "you're too young to worry" stuff just aren't helpful, in my opinion. it can be really dismissive.

Well there is nothing wrong with me either. In fact people don't understand what the deal is that I can't settle. I have no problem getting a date, I seem unable to meet the right person.

I am attracted to people who are like clones of one another: all like my dad. I am working with my t on breaking the pattern. Resisting initial attraction to same kind of men.

I don't give up and remain optimistic. I do not feel like s victim at all. Sure I deserve better but I waited until age of 48 even start therapy trying to understand what's wrong with these men or me.

I am aware now and as t says growth starts with being aware



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I honestly appreciate the support and advice. It just hurts soooo much that men don't want anything to do with me because I'm unattractive. I'm a nice person. No one sees that though. I can't do anything about my appearance. I didn't win the genetic lottery. And to add insult to injury, my sisters are beautiful. I'm a freaking ogre and I guess, unbeknownst to me, my personality grew to match my appearance.

I know exactly how you feel. I simply cannot believe that anyone would ever fall for me. I just don't see what anyone could ever see in me. So I don't really have any advice for you, just wanted to give you a and let you know you're not alone!

I thought trying to accept it was a good idea after I got very hurt by a guy and it worked for a while. Until I developed a crush on someone else. Now it's making me very sad and frustrated again

I would say never give up. Just polish yourself and it takes time when you have some one special!
Cheer up!!

Looks are subjective .

Sure I won't deny the fact that visually attractive people might have easier time to attract more potential dates but it doesn't mean they are happier people or that they meet quality dates or have better chance in love. Nope.

Also by this logic people who aren't gorgeous have no chance in love. So not true. Human race would extinct of only pretty ones procreated.

Now if looks are your concern then sometimes little things can alter ones look. New haircut? New hair color? Better looking glasses? Different make up? Nail polish?Different clothes? I am just throwing it out there. For a guy it could be change facial hair and hair cut and glasses and so on.

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Maybe that's my problem: perhaps I just attract people who just aren't into me or people with whom it will never work? I don't know the answers. I believe I'm a good person and I like to think that I'm a good catch too.

I understand that you might feel you are behind your peers if you haven't had a relationship at this stage. But, as many other posters have said, 22 is very young. I was 27 when I had my first girlfriend. Perhaps you could try a dating website, or such like. It's helpful to get some experience of meeting people. But I would also echo what others have said. If you are too anxious to meet someone you might attract the wrong types. It's important to be happy in your single life before looking for someone. Having a romantic relationship is all that is important, and it brings both ups and downs.

@ the OP.
I got married later in life, I was 33 and my wife was 30. I'm of the opinion that everyone is attractive to someone.

But, yes, I understand, it can be distressing.

All I can say is that no one is EVER going to be attracted to me as I am now. I have terrible teeth and there is nothing I can do to fix that. I'm just over it.

Teeth can be fixed. It is a matter of having the money. If you can come up with the money, the technology is there. Anyone can have a movie star smile. Where do you think the movie stars got their perfect smiles from? Cosmetic dentists will even assist you to find financing.

It's not about being/looking perfect to me. I have severe bite problems, among other things that aren't easily fixable.

Those are the kind of problems that dentists fix all the time. It does take money, and it does take time.

I don't and never had good teeth. No one in my family does. Do you work and have Health insurance? You might try to put it on installments of some sort, talk to your dentist or shop around. Talk about financing etc


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I've finally gotten around to seeing a dentist. I'm truly not interested in being perfect. I just want to be able to stomach the sight of myself. I just don't care for the amount of time/effort I have to put into looking passable.

You kind of contradict yourself. On one hand you don't want to make any effort and don't even care how you look but then you say you are upset with your looks. If you are upset then you do care. If you don't care then it would not even bother you enough to talk about it

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It sure took you a while on this thread to get to what may be the crux of the problem. That's okay. Sometimes we have to avoid for awhile, before we really confront. So you have a dental malocclusion that you describe as severe. It is making you very self-conscious and, you believe, unattractive to other people. You believe that you would be more desirable, if you had the defect corrected. It would take time, effort and money. Correcting it is probably doable, as I'm sure the dentist will explain to you.

Coming up with the money can be a huge challenge. But you don't seem specifically concerned with that. You mention having a problem with the time and effort part. If that's what it comes down to, then it's your choice. If you really think this physical defect is what stands between you and romance (which is what you say above) then you either fix it, or give up on romance.

People with very severe physical defects find romance all the time. Sometimes, the bigger problem can be a lack of confidence that comes more from how you see yourself, than how others may see you. If you can barely stomach to look at yourself, as you put it, then you do need to make cosmetic dentistry an undertaking that you are going to commit to. Most people who are not narcissistic don't really need to look perfect. But you surely are not going to be a happy person if you absolutely hate the way you look, which is what you are finally telling us. So go for it. See the dentist and explore options for financing. Getting your teeth fixed could dramatically alter how you feel about everything in your life.

In my experience people who aren't good looking per se and even have a disformity, find love and happiness. It takes all kinds. Sure it might seem good looking folks have better luck in love. Nope not the case

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I'm a male and what you feel is not true. I actually thought no woman would ever love me and now when I look at myself in the mirror I'm actually pretty good looking. And there have been women who loved me. It's all beliefs in the head. It has no basis in reality. Based on physical looks, every man has different taste so no matter what you look like, there are many men out there that like that. Based on personality, no matter what you're like, again, there are many men out there that like that. Remember opposites attract and you ought to have an opposite wouldn't you say?? Don't worry. You're pretty both inside and outside for at least thousands (potentially millions) of men out there. Whoever doesn't like you, forget them,, they're probably just wierd.

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