The loner dilemma

Always been a loner and at this point I'm pretty set - like cement. I really can't recommend this unless you really don't want to be a human being - it's painful. Don't get me wrong I'm real good at this lifestyle because I've lived a long time and have not killed myself or anyone else. I can't tell you how many times I've told people that I was going to make an effort to get more people in my life but you know I didn't. I'm just too damn comfortable to even think about this anymore. This staunch individualism is probably going to take me to the grave early - oh well. Through the years of therapy and meds I never really took down the wall enough to be close to anyone. I never felt secure enough (still don't) to bring another individual into this isolated lifestyle - I live in Ice Station Zebra. It's hard to imagine anyone with any kind of social motivation staying with me long enough to bond. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this because I know that I'm going to the grave alone. I'm disappointed that I really never found a solution and that the screams were never heard. I don't expect any fortune cookie miracle at this point I just wish things could have been different.

Well Macd123,

I envy you....I am a wannabe loner. Just imagining that everything is under my control. I can cook whatever I want, whenever I want. I can wake up whenever I want. My life would be so under my control.

But since you don't want this wonderful lifestyle, have you considered moving to some place else. I think moving to a new place is like restarting life.

Maybe join some hobby classes...learn new instrument?

I guess you don't need to be a great person to make friends....just sincere in knowing them.

Start a blog where you write about feelings....exercise, workout, do yoga...you'll gain a great bod and confidence....and hot looking people with confidence attract more people.

Take an effort to dress your best even if you're grocery shopping....you really don't know where you meet someone interesting.

And get a puppy....puppy attracts people and a great companion.

Hope it works out for you and you meet someone you can be comfortable with.

How old are you....btw?

Good luck!

I'm 60 - I bike, play the piano and travel but mostly alone. The reason I think I'm so hard on myself is that I kinda let a relationship go recently and cried for months. I didn't think it was going to hurt so much but I'm not used to having anyone close and at this point it scares me.

Wow that's amazing though - you FELT! You're capable of wanting someone's company and affection and you MISSED it when it was gone. That's pretty telling, in my opinion, and I think it's a GOOD thing. If it happened once, it will happen again. If you want it to! Get back on that horsie and ride into town!