Hey y'all!
So I've been seeing this guy for about a month now and over a week ago he asks me to be exclusive. He works shifts 4 on 4 off and I have two kids so I don't get a lot of opportunities to see him. Well this weekend I spent the night Thursday and we went for breakfast Friday and then we went and played 9 holes of golf on Saturday. He told me I'm too clingy because I got upset that he didn't invite me to a house warming party on Saturday night after I was done work. Am I crazy for thinking that the guy who asked me to be exclusive would want me to be around? To show me off to his buddies? I understand he needs time to himself without me, but I figured when I'm at work and when I have my kids would be enough. He invited me to a wedding in August and said he wants me to meet his parents before the wedding. So Friday he spent the entire afternoon/evening with them and this would have been a good chance for me to meet them after I was done work at 9pm but nothing. So out of the last 70 hours I spent 15 with him (6 of which we were sleeping) and I'm clingy! He's the one who said he wanted me to meet his parents. And he's the one who said that he would see me every day of he could. So am I wrong to think that this is the green light to want to spend time with him? He could have invited me over for an hour on Friday to meet his folks. He could have invited me to the house warming party after I was done work (and he'd still have had 4 hours to hangout with his buddies without me before I was done work). And he'd still have had all Friday afternoon, Saturday afternoon, all day Sunday and all day today to himself.
I'm thinking there might be a bigger issue that he's not telling me. It just doesn't make sense to me. HE asks ME to be exclusive, he tells me he wants me to meet his folks, he tells me he'd spend every day with me if he could, he's house shopping and sends me a pic of a place and asks me if I could see myself living there.... But I'm clingy??? I'm just blindsided and confused and don't know what I did wrong! He can't wrap his head around the fact that I'm upset about More than just one night with his buddies. He thinks it's all about the house warming party. But I have explained over and over that it's because i don't get a lot of free time so I want someone who will take advantage of every chance he gets, who will want to spend as much time with me as I do with him, and when he says corny crap about being together all the time and meeting his parents I think that he actually means it! I let him set the pace!

[Moogieotter]

If he only made the comment once and everything else still adds up - let it go. Maybe he simply wanted to go to the party alone. It was just one comment about one event, right?

Good luck,

moogs

[divine1966]

All right you are dating him about a month and you already spend a night... Wow! Yeah. Isn't it moving a bit fast? For grown ups especially with two kids? I understand you want to see him all the time but after a month of dating you don't need to meet his friends or spend that much time together. Well sure he might mean corny stuff he says but it doesn't mean it had to happen all right now after only one month!!!! What's the rush?

I am dating a new guy myself ,well we aren't intimate yet as we want to get more serious first, but we are already exclusive. If he was upset I went to a party alone i would also think he is clingy and way too demanding! We told important people about each other but we aren't introducing each other yet.

That can wait. It sounds as you spending lots of time together as it is

Sure we also discussed corny stuff lol or what we might want in the future but it doesn't mean it must happen right now

What's the rush?

I had to add that from my own experience guys who want to get intimate that fast and spend nights aren't very serious about a woman. Unfortunately whatever romantic stuff they say is often meaningless. If the guy is serious he'd want to wait to get to know you as a person first and build a foundation first. Then be intimate. Forget about him. I think he is bad news.

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Thanks! I guess next time I'll just be more cautious and not fall for all the lines. I was letting him set the pace the whole time but I guess I shouldn't have let him and I should have kept things from rushing.

Originally Posted by divine1966

All right you are dating him about a month and you already spend a night... Wow! Yeah. Isn't it moving a bit fast? For grown ups especially with two kids? I understand you want to see him all the time but after a month of dating you don't need to meet his friends or spend that much time together. Well sure he might mean corny stuff he says but it doesn't mean it had to happen all right now after only one month!!!! What's the rush?

I am dating a new guy myself ,well we aren't intimate yet as we want to get more serious first, but we are already exclusive. If he was upset I went to a party alone i would also think he is clingy and way too demanding! We told important people about each other but we aren't introducing each other yet.

That can wait. It sounds as you spending lots of time together as it is

Sure we also discussed corny stuff lol or what we might want in the future but it doesn't mean it must happen right now

What's the rush?

I had to add that from my own experience guys who want to get intimate that fast and spend nights aren't very serious about a woman. Unfortunately whatever romantic stuff they say is often meaningless. If the guy is serious he'd want to wait to get to know you as a person first and build a foundation first. Then be intimate. Forget about him. I think he is bad news.

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[divine1966]

I am sending you hugs. I have been in situations like yours and it hurts. I wish you the very best

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[scorpiosis37]

I think one month is REALLY fast for meeting his friends and/or his family and for spending so much of your free time together. I know that if I spent part of Friday and Saturday with someone, I would definitely need a break from them on Sunday. If I've only been dating someone for a month, seeing them more than once or twice a week would just be too much for me. I think it's important to get to know someone slowly, over time. When you rush a relationship, it will usually crash and burn just as quickly. You also have to learn about how much alone time your new partner needs. Even if I really like someone and do want to introduce them to friends/family, that doesn't change the fact that I'm someone who needs a good deal of alone time as well as individual time with my best friends. Not everyone wants to be around their partner 24/7, no matter how much they like them.

[Bill3]

No matter whose fault it is, the fact that OP is so unhappy with the time he is willing to spend with her suggests that this is not a good match.

I have just become aware that I was dealing with a Future Faker. He fed me all the lines and I ate that stuff up!! At least now I know for future relationships that if he's telling me that he wants me to meet his parents after a month and sends me pictures of a house and asks me if I can see myself living there that these are red flags and I need to run!!! Thanks everyone for the advice and opinions

We talked about how much personal time we needed on our own and he told me that he didn't need very much and that he would see me every day if he could. And I believed him.. Good learning experience. Also because I have children I am not available as often as most people. I get maybe two or three days a week to myself... To be on my own or with someone I'm dating or with friends. So there's no way I can spend 24/7 with someone. It was a rare situation where I happened to have a few days in a row that I was free. I couldn't have even gone to the party anyways because I had my kids.

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

I think one month is REALLY fast for meeting his friends and/or his family and for spending so much of your free time together. I know that if I spent part of Friday and Saturday with someone, I would definitely need a break from them on Sunday. If I've only been dating someone for a month, seeing them more than once or twice a week would just be too much for me. I think it's important to get to know someone slowly, over time. When you rush a relationship, it will usually crash and burn just as quickly. You also have to learn about how much alone time your new partner needs. Even if I really like someone and do want to introduce them to friends/family, that doesn't change the fact that I'm someone who needs a good deal of alone time as well as individual time with my best friends. Not everyone wants to be around their partner 24/7, no matter how much they like them.

Sounds like one of those hot cold scenarios. .. pull you in, push you away. Repeat.

The fella doesn't seem honest. Doesnt seem as if he's ready for commitment but tosses those phrases around like play things. you don't need to go that far.
Give him 3 months beffore you make it exclusive. let him come for you, dont hunt him.

Thanks. I agree about waiting 3 months next time. When he asked me to be exclusive I told him that I've had bad experiences in the past with going exclusive and then it almost jinxs it and his response was "you can't jinx this". Next time I'll still take it slow regardless if he asks me to be exclusive early in the relationship. I have made a couple of the same mistakes I made in other relationships, but luckily I'm getting better and learn a little each time. Hopefully I won't be 80 before I figure it out! Hehe jk

Originally Posted by GirlMeditating

Sounds like one of those hot cold scenarios. .. pull you in, push you away. Repeat.

The fella doesn't seem honest. Doesnt seem as if he's ready for commitment but tosses those phrases around like play things. you don't need to go that far.
Give him 3 months beffore you make it exclusive. let him come for you, dont hunt him.