[kelly8896]

I’d like some opinions on a matter in a new relationship. I’ll try to keep it short.

This guy I just started dating does not drink alcohol, not even socially. Some members of his family are alcoholics and from a very young age he decided that wasn’t something he’d ever do. So to this day he’s never drank.

I drink socially, maybe one or two beers once a month. I hadn’t until lately drank at all because I had kids. They are grown (the youngest being 17 now) so an occasional drink I feel is ok.

He stated during a conversation last week that he wouldn’t kiss me if I drank because he doesn’t want to taste or smell the alcohol. It’s just something he doesn’t care for.

I told him I wasn’t going to promise that I wouldn’t drink, and I guess he won’t be kissing me that night if I decide to.

At first it didn’t sit well with me (made me feel like he was a little controlling-dictating what I could or couldn’t do), but then I tried to put myself in his shoes. I can’t stand the smell or taste of cigarettes. Although I don’t consider alcohol and cigarette one in the same, I wouldn’t date someone that smoked and wouldn’t kiss someone either that smoked. The smell and taste make me sick to my stomach.

Just curious as to other’s opinions on this matter.

[I'm Worth It]

Originally Posted by kelly8896

I’d like some opinions on a matter in a new relationship. I’ll try to keep it short.

This guy I just started dating does not drink alcohol, not even socially. Some members of his family are alcoholics and from a very young age he decided that wasn’t something he’d ever do. So to this day he’s never drank.

I drink socially, maybe one or two beers once a month. I hadn’t until lately drank at all because I had kids. They are grown (the youngest being 17 now) so an occasional drink I feel is ok.

He stated during a conversation last week that he wouldn’t kiss me if I drank because he doesn’t want to taste or smell the alcohol. It’s just something he doesn’t care for.

I told him I wasn’t going to promise that I wouldn’t drink, and I guess he won’t be kissing me that night if I decide to.

At first it didn’t sit well with me (made me feel like he was a little controlling-dictating what I could or couldn’t do), but then I tried to put myself in his shoes. I can’t stand the smell or taste of cigarettes. Although I don’t consider alcohol and cigarette one in the same, I wouldn’t date someone that smoked and wouldn’t kiss someone either that smoked. The smell and taste make me sick to my stomach.

Just curious as to other’s opinions on this matter.

He has a valid reason for requesting/doing this. It would be controlling if he simply said he didn't want you to drink at all just because. This is something you need to decide whether or not is a dealbreaker for you. I'd say and hope, that you are not drinking so often that you would never or rarely be kissing each other because of it .

[divine1966]

It depends on his past experiences. I had a live-in relationship with alcoholic, we've been together for almost 9 years. I eventually left because he kept relapsing and my mental health went down. I was beyond stressed

I'll NOT be with anyone who drinks on any kind of regular basis beyond perhaps at a wedding or a party ( las time i drank a glass of Wine was Christmas party and next time it will be a wedding I have to go in November, that kind of drinking I can handle).

I'll not kiss or have sex with a man if he smells like alcohol. It's very triggering for me. Too much pain

My new BF drinks as much as me which is nearly never. Two three times a year a glass of wine at a party. That I can handle. We've been together for 4 months and neither one of us touched alcohol. Not once. That works for me.

Perhaps your BF had bad experience like mine

Smoking isn't a deal breaker for me. I can handle a smoker. Drinker? Nope.

It also depends how often do you drink that it becomes a problem?
If like you said it is once a month then I don't see how it is a problem? You don't need to be kissing one evening a month. Not a big deal

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk