Has anyone been in love with you?

I've had plenty of women hit on me or check me out because I'm physically attractive, but I've never had anybody actually love me. Even if the women who think I'm physically attractive did love me, I never give them the chance and almost always push them away.

Aside from one female friend that I love kind of like a sister, yet don't want a romantic relationship with and a male friend who's like a brother to me, I've never loved anybody. Most of my family are nothing more than abusive pricks who are unworthy of having me in their life so I go to great lengths to keep them out of it.

Yes, my three long-term partners were in love with me. I've also had women who made their feelings for me known, but I was not interested. Currently, I'm in the early stages of a new relationship so we aren't there yet, but I hope that is where we're headed ��

On first impulse I was going to say, "No". Even though I was married 26 years, it wasn't about me. lol And by "in love" I am assuming an adult relationship...not children who while young "love" you...and parents of course...

But I had not considered patients... so maybe?

I have been told by others at times "I love you!" But never was there any relationship connected, you know?

Kind of sad.

Romantic love, no not even once. I think I have my way to push people around me away, and since I am a shy guy who tries to protect his ego, girls probably think I am not interested.

I have not read all replies (purposely), but romantic/sentimental love vs. real love....
guess there's a paradox of both/and....IDK?

im the recipe of unlovable

I doubt it. I can't even love myself, how could anyone else ever?

My ex said I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and yet he couldn't be with me anymore. So what chance is there of anyone else ever wanting to be with me?

Oh and someone once said they were madly in love with me, but then he met me and changed his mind. And someone said they were in love with me after spending a day with me, I was like don't be stupid lol.

We are talking I assume about romantic love...

I've had 3 long term relationships. I've come to the realisation the first two couldn't possibly have loved me. Why? Because there is no comparison with the third.

I have had several long term relationships and the men have all told me they loved me.

They did not treat me in the way that seemed "loving". I think that was all they were capable of loving.

I voted "yes" but I guess I should change it to maybe.

oh, and what makes someone loveable?

That they brighten people's day
That they try to be upbeat and positive
That they are easy to be around
That they make you smile or laugh
That they take genuine interest in people
That they make your heart sing

That is a loveable person

Yes. ^That is a lovable person. The problem is that people start out that way, but don't end up that way.

There's plenty of people on this planet that start out loveable and continue to be, all the days of their lives. But I digress...

I voted yes, there have been men that have been in love with me. My tally is three.

Great, that makes me unloveable.

Depression takes all that away from you. Remember this is a mental health forum, there could be lots of people who feel they could never be that person. Whether they are right or not.

Typical humans. Not loving those who need love the most.

And people wonder why I'm so selfish and can't stand most people.

Love is a very personal and subjective thing. And it changes in every relationship. No one can keep it as intense as in the beginning and to me that is fine.

Some people just chase those feelings. That is often what I think of when people say that "they don't love".

JMHO

I think so but I don't really notice things like that.

Why would they become unlovable over time ? I don't even understand the concept.

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What I mean by that, is that people sometimes are different in the beginning. We are all on our best behavior.

I have had several men that "love bombed" me and idealized and then devalued me later.

Kind of a borderline thing I believe.

There's been a couple of people who crushed on me a little but no one has ever been even close to in love with me. I don't know why, there's just something about me that makes like 99.9% of the people I meet dislike me, even if never say anything.

It doesn't mean you are unlovable. You are still lovable. They don't determine your value.

Also if they fell out of love it doesn't mean they are borderline. Most likely it was infatuation rather than true love. That always ends. I was infatuated with man once, it doesn't last. Plus if they devalued you ( treated bad) they maybe weren't nice people. I don't think everyone has a diagnosis

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In my community everyone is overweight, lOL!

Then wouldn't logic determine that you were the loveable one?

There's statements within this thread speaking to feeling unloveable by the not having even experienced "to love and to have lost."

I've always said, it's a numbers game (which speaks in part to the OP's original theorem about psych professionals ending up on the receiving end more often). I kissed a few frogs before I met my prince, but first I had to meet a whole lot of people, before I even came across the frogs.

Seemed like the minute I was really enjoying being single, had no hang ups about it at all and could have hung in like that indefinitely, was the minute I met my (late) husband. Although I wouldn't change a thing, it was really kind of an interruption at the time...

I think I am lovable. I think the people I have loved are lovable, too.

What I am trying to say is, that some of the men I have loved are disordered in terms of relationships. They loved me, they hated me. A couple of them told me straight out that they were borderlines.

My ex husband is bpd(diagnosed), for sure. Didn't discount him from my selection of someone that was once in love with me.