[Artchic528]

Okay, so I dated this guy for a few months and he broke up with me citing financial and distance issues. I didn't shed a single tear though I felt kind of funny for the rest of the day, and a bit of the next. Anyways, I figured it was just me being a bit emotional, but not overly so as I felt not too attached to him.

That was early summer, and now it's basically early fall. I've thought about him a lot since then, almost once every week or so. I always tell myself it was for the best and that he has made it pretty clear he can't do the hour or so drive to get me as gas is expensive, and he can't call me cause of long distance bills. So I just shove those thoughts aside and focus on something else.

The thing is, shoving aside thoughts isn't working right now. I can't seem to stop thinking about him as I try and sleep. I tell myself he wasn't all that good in bed as he had serious preformance anxiety, being a virgin before I met him didn't help either. I also remind myself how I wasn't over the moon about him either. But I kept on talking about him in therapy when we were together, saying I could see myself living with him in his house.

I think I sort of keep a cold outward appearance as I just don't want to get hurt again. Maybe I was in fact protecting myself. Either way, now I can't help but imagine myself saying "I love you" to him.

But exes are that for a reason, right? It's because the relationship isn't meant to be. I am probably just in love with a memory or something. Right?

[divine1966]

I agree with you that most likely it's just a memory. I know the feeling.

Also I've been there before. If time passes and no one else comes along, rather than waiting and being patient we start thinking we should get back with ex. Typically it's a bad idea. Give it time

I am a bit surprised though he has long distance bills. An hour drive? Or even two? What kind of phone does he have? I commute an hour to work every day and my work isn't long distance bill. My BF lives an hour away opposite direction and same thing! We all have different phones and plans but none charges extra for one hour away unless of course he lives in a different country and he pays international fee. I am not trying to be funny. I live not far from a border so it's possible.

I do agree that an hour drive makes dating harder but it's doable. Gas prices are not as high now. Does he work?
I think maybe he just made up a reason and it's not real reason.

I told people before that I am too busy for dating and it's too far of a distance and I wasn't even lying, it's true. But then you meet a person for whom all of a sudden you aren't too busy and nothing is too far and things could work out.

Anyways keep talking about it in therapy and I think you'll meet someone new. I think what you are feeling is very normal




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