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#1
Oct 16, 2015, 06:03 PM
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My son is 1 year old. I use to be happy with my weight. No extra anywhere. Since I've had my son I've felt ugly and fat and just not happy. My husband says he loves my body now. But I weighed 105lb. And now I'm 124lb. I don't feel sexy. Everything I put on its just not sexy. I have stretch marks also.
And I have found out my husband is watching porn, looking at other women online and I've asked him to stop. He says he won't do it again but he hasn't stop. That just makes me wanna cry and makes me feel like I'm not that girl he really wants. I feel like I have to compete with these so called "perfect" bodies, and pretty faces. I love him dearly but I feel so depressed about my body and him doing this behind my back is just the cherry on top. Anyone else having this problem? |
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#2
Oct 17, 2015, 08:37 PM
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Sorry how is 124 heavy? I am 145 and honestly am not heavy. Sorry but how is clothes not sexy on 124lbbody?
I really don't think he is watching porn or looks at women online because you are 124 lb. something else is going on. Is there emotional connection between you two? Love? Friendship? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#3
Oct 19, 2015, 07:05 AM
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Wow he's not being very supportive if he's looking at other women. I would have a serious talk with him about that. Its actually not hard to go from 124 to 105 (speaking from my own personal experience, I understand every body is different, especially since you just had a baby which might make it a little harder because your body is recovering) but for me personally I usually weigh anywhere between 105-115 and it fluctuates between those numbers all the time (every couple months). I don't even pay attention to it and one month I'll be 105, then 4 months later I'm 115 and vise versa. It all depends on what is stressing me out, because some months I'll eat less if I'm stressed and other months I eat more when I'm stressed. So paying attention to how much/how often you eat can help. Mindful eating, eating mostly healthy foods, drinking lots of water, etc.
Yoga, dance or walking the baby in a stroller can also be helpful. And there are creams you can use for stretch marks, coconut oil is natural and very good for the skin.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
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#4
Oct 19, 2015, 10:48 AM
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Sorry to be so blunt, but are you having sex with your husband?
I imagine either no, or very infrequently if you're feeling as badly about your looks as you've described. He may have resorted to porn in order to take care of himself, so as not to put pressure on you to be in the mood for sex. Look, some women (like myself) have no problem with porn, others, believe its wrong or a bad reflection on them. To each their own, I don't think that's the issue here at all. What I'm saying is, have you actually sat down and spoken to him, and actually heard his side? Just trying to offer a different perspective, because your hubby doesn't sound particularly assholian.
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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 Mid-Life-Larry
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#5
Oct 19, 2015, 05:23 PM
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You have a one year old, I'm confused about at what point the 19 lbs was expected to disappear? Did you breast feed or bottle feed? Dieting is a no no during breast feeding and even bottle feeding the body is physiologically protective, being a mom is complicated, in nature's way. I think there's a genetic predisposition to stretch marks. Mine went around to my kidneys, of all places
  Are you concerned that there's a porn addiction? Aside from your body image concerns, is he ignoring you? Is he ignoring the baby? Does he demean you, in any way? Is he disrespectful to you? Are there relationship struggles, arguments? Jealousy? I'm just tossing out characteristics of an unhappy marriage that I'm familiar with that involves porn viewing. I could give another, more healthy relationship, adoration, respect, lots of communication, butt slapping on passing that was playful and also involved some pornography, oh and comfort with ageing bodies, men grow older, too, fwiw. I don't know. It's hard becoming a mom, the body does change. I've had three. I'm a lot thinner and more in shape than I have ever been. I get the, "you have how many?" Comment with look, all the time. Motherhood isn't supposed to zap your self image, that's why the questions about what's going on between the two of you. 
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