Fiancé wants me to dress more sexy

Oh my gosh. I am truly concerned about this. Warning bells are sounding. Ahhhh ooo ga, ahhhh ooo ga.

This really quite frightens me and leaves me terribly upset.

NO MAN SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIS SPOUSE. NO WOMAN IS A SERVANT TO HER PARTNER.

You are an equal and thus deserve respect and treatment as such.

I am not Christian but I am pretty sure the true spirit of Christianity is about honouring all as an equal.

I agree with this too. It could be your friends, siblings, kids... Sometimes people think we "hide" too much in clothes for no reason and they are just suggesting we'd look nice if we dressed in a different way. You don't need to go through a complete makeover, but isn't him only suggesting that you should try other things that might look good on you, trying to cheer you up by making you dress nice clothes? And aren't you refraining from trying new clothes that may look fantastic on you just because you have a preconceived idea that you shouldn't attract other people's (men) stares?

Again, none of what you stated is your responsability. Feeling pressured by your husband to wear X clothes is the same as feeling pressured by moral rules not to. What do you want?

You can dress sexy without showing a lot of skin The sexiest thing of all is confidence and the most beautiful curve a smile

I'm not religious but even I know this stuff.

Ephesians 5:24-25

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

This is very clearly a two-part deal in both the wife and husband must be worthy of each other. For the husband's part, he must love his wife as Christ loved the church. Now think about how much and in what ways Christ loved the church. It is only with that absolute level of genuine love, that the wife is expected to trust the husband enough to submit to him, as he would not disrespect her, or ask her to do upsetting or demeaning things, or jeopardize her safety or well-being, and so on.

The concept is an idealistic one in which the love between the husband and the wife is so perfect, genuine and complimenting that it flows in a very natural, harmonious way.

This is quite different from just being a doormat who does whatever some man says just because he is your husband.

Oh boy. I can feel myself blowing up with a huge "OWNERSHIP OF THE BODY!" speech...phew, control re-established.

OK, look: Your body belongs toyou. it's your house, you live in it, and you are the one who needs to feel comfy and at home therein. You get to decide what feels nice to you. Nobody else. The end. Chyia

I've misplaced my once very strong faith but I was raised in a Christian faith and I haven't forgotten anything.

Cooler and wise voices have already explained what the intent of that Bible passage is/was. All I'll add is I'd be real careful thinking the men "lord" (I couldn't resist) it over women. The 2 people that innumerable scholars point to as being the most important in Jesus life & his message were both women: his mother, Mary, and Mary Magdalene. He didn't appear to the apostles first, after all. He did to Mary Magdalene. That's WAY significant (if you believe, otherwise it's a Lifetime mini-series.)

If all he would like is that you don't "hide" as much in your clothes, that's not horrific. Perhaps (it sounds like it) he thinks you're pretty and would like to see you "own" that and be comfortable with it.

It only crosses over in to problematic if he's insisting or pressuring you to do it.

Then I'd want to know if he was marrying ME or what's in my closet.

Wow, this thread has provoked a lot of extreme reactions and even intents of religious justification. What I didn't see was someone suggesting a dialogue or some compromise. So the boyfriend wants the OP to dress a certain way: how about making him happy just occasionally? I seriously doubt the guy has any sexist or oppression motives, he'd just like to see his partner dressed like the objectified women that bombard us from every possible media today. We men can't help liking sexy, and there's nothing to be sorry about. My advice to this woman is to try to make his boyfriend understand that she'll go along with it sometimes as a play session, and that he's also lucky to be with a woman that doesn't make her body image a way of life.

I may have missed this in all the replies but,

Has your other half defined what he considers to be sexy? There is a difference between being sensually provocative and what I call sexually 'skanky'. One can be quite covered and still be sexually appealing to their partner. The answer too may be to what is under all that cover, and that need not be uncomfortable either. It could be a simple as a pretty undergarment It could be something as simple as showing a calf with a nice shoe (doesn't have to be a high spiked heel) or a vee neck (not necessarily plunging). And black or red seems to be provocative too.

I may have missed this too but how healthy is your sexual life? What is the state of your own libido? Is this something a change in medication might affect? Who usually initiates romantic togetherness.