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#1
Nov 10, 2015, 10:05 AM
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Borderline Personality Disorder, a disorder that has ruined me. I can't have a normal relationship with anyone without feeling the need to attack them or like they are always hiding something from me. Lying to me. I have seen my parent's cry because of the things I have said to them, but inside I scream at them telling them that that's not me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
My daughter, 14 months...and I just now feel like I can look at her without pushing her away or feeling disgusted. I don't mean to baby girl, I'm sorry. The man I love. I can't look at you without feeling like your lying to me. But I know your heart is true by the way you are with my baby, with me. I don't mean to accuse you. I don't mean to fire ammunition. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to do any of it. I really don't.. |
 ChipperMonkey
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#2
Nov 10, 2015, 04:34 PM
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Are you in therapy for these issues you've mentioned?
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
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#3
Nov 10, 2015, 06:54 PM
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I too have BPD. I seem to cause drama wherever I go and in every relationship. But one thing I'm wondering, you mentioned you were distant from your daughter. Any chance of post partum depression? Have you discussed this with your bf? Let him know you don't mean mistrust him and that you just can't help it right now. Maybe you both can seek counseling together. I'm ALWAYS wondering who's texting my bf. Always asking him about other women because some girl made a comment on his facebook or something. Truth is, I'm the one with the bad history because of manic episodes and my BPD. So my paranoia comes from my own mess ups too. It's hard to admit to your bad actions so at least you're making that step!
Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia Seroquel 300mgs Trileptal 300mgs Buspar 45mgs Ativan 1mg PRN Vyvance 70mgs PRN |
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#4
Nov 10, 2015, 10:14 PM
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I don't think you're ruined.
I think you can heal and make your situation better. Are you in therapy? |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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