pscyopath

Question. If someone looks like a psychopath.how much of their behavior is out of their control?, With breakup I was told he was vomiting, not eating, but losing weight, Yet he would ask how much have you lost? like he wanted a medal. Everyone is feeling so sorry for the nice guy. I suspect he can cry at the drop of a hat. For the last year have felt like he was gaslighting. Asked him but he denied it. Things going missing, only to reappear, things getting broken. Plants I professed to love getting ripped out . He said he didn't know. Emotionally not there but quick to blame me. Perfect in front of people , attention getter.But at home always going for smokes, hardware, Chats up women everywhere and as he is an attractive man they hang around even when its our night out. We live in different towns. I have come to realize that at weddings, visiting friends, etc I am always alone. I remember those would be such fun to look forward to, before him. I am totally embarrassed to tell you I have spent 12 years in this and finally left 21/2 months ago. And yes he blows hot and then cold. come hither, go away. We have spent hours and hours on the phone . He says remember this and that reels me in and then says , hopefully if we meet there will not be any hatred etc. I told him a week and a 1/2 ago to not call me anymore or come near me. I have suspected after no intimacy for a year that he has been seeing someone else even though I has asked when we met if he wants out just tell me. He has been adamant there is no one. I cannot believe as I found lip gloss in our van , perfume he said came as a bonus from the liquor store.,

Okay now the icing on the cake. I have been numb a lot and depressed a lot , don't do things I used to love. didn't want to be near him anymore ,he says my fault)I loved to walk but why if we do he is busy chatting to everyone but us. I was sure that when we went for a walk it was for a reason , a woman somewhere on the street He doesn't have any long time friends just family and in the process I have lost most of mine.. This started 4-5 years ago. We belonged to a dance group. This one girl was constantly hanging all over him. We have friends that love him and that was fine and made for a lot of laughs. But this one was never gone. As we are square dancers she would run to be his corner all the time. and if they were short I could end up sitting while they danced. He was oblivious to me and all the jumps and twirls we did he now did with her. Finally after much arguing and he saying he didn't know that he was leading her on I took off my rings and said if you want you got her. Maybe the rings will even fit. He swore up and down he didn't want her. I think at that time everything changed for me. I lost my trust, was extremely tired, not happy most of the time suspicious,
When I left 2 months, I discovered a network on my computer. Through facebook , naples ,Idaho, (his sister and husband), a house lake stevens that belonged to them., and an unknown , in Duval , Wa, . Which nobody mentions but denial. Now I can'[t find that link . But I know I saw it. As it scared me so badly I quickly deleted it. I have been told I was paranoid. Can someone imagine something like this if they never knew anything about homegroups, Never heard of Duval Wa???? , dream up his messing around?
I did find an attempt to log in with a different name HIs,which locked me out. for awhile till friends cleaned up my computer. I have seen something that if you have a fragile or sensitive nature it can knock you over??????? Break me down . I am hanging on by threads. L