I called women in crisis one time and explained to them that my husband was mentally abusing me and I wasn't sure what I should do to get away from him. They had no advice for me because I wasn't beat up or being physically abused. I felt like they offered me Zero help. They always want you to run to a shelter, but I have my own home and pets that I am responsible for, not to mention a lease. I have all of my possessions . Why should I lose everything that I have worked hard for and go on the run with two children???? My daughter has autism and takes medication for which she must see a doctor on a regular basis. I think sometimes you have to stand your ground. Maybe I'm wrong. My estranged husband started calling me and I take the calls to keep peace for as long as I can but they soon get nasty and they are headed that way now again......I'm just trying to buy myself time. What do you do when you are trying to survive the everyday stuff like bills and taking care of the kids and house and then you have this BS on top of it! I'm so mad!

[Webgoji]

If it's your home, kick him out and don't be afraid to get the police involved if necessary. If you feel that he might be dangerous or harassing, get a restraining order prior to kicking him out. Also, if necessary (which it sounds like it is), get the divorce proceedings going as well.

Please be careful and have an escape plan though because when dealing with an abuser, the in-between stages can be dangerous.

[gayleggg]

I put up with emotional abuse for years to avoid losing everything including custody of my daughter as I knew my husband would try to take her away from me. It wasn't until she was 18 and I had a house given to by my grandmother that I was able to tell him to leave.

The abuse takes it's toll on you though. Your health might be worth more than all the stuff that you have worked for.

Th abuse also effects the children.

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[Kellyh76]

I suffered physical and mental abuse for years too and I stuck it out for my children and also he made me believe that I was worthless and no one would want me. I didn't worry about him getting custody of my children as the laws are different over here I knew I would automatically get custody of them. One day I woke up and realised enough was enough and made him leave. My children were much happier now that he's gone although they love their dad they did tell me a few years later that they knew what was going on at the time. I suppose children sense these things I on the other hand had no idea that they picked up on it as they never witnessed any of it . So yeah the children are affected

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[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by Plumprincess

I called women in crisis one time and explained to them that my husband was mentally abusing me and I wasn't sure what I should do to get away from him. They had no advice for me because I wasn't beat up or being physically abused. I felt like they offered me Zero help. They always want you to run to a shelter, but I have my own home and pets that I am responsible for, not to mention a lease. I have all of my possessions . Why should I lose everything that I have worked hard for and go on the run with two children???? My daughter has autism and takes medication for which she must see a doctor on a regular basis. I think sometimes you have to stand your ground. Maybe I'm wrong. My estranged husband started calling me and I take the calls to keep peace for as long as I can but they soon get nasty and they are headed that way now again......I'm just trying to buy myself time. What do you do when you are trying to survive the everyday stuff like bills and taking care of the kids and house and then you have this BS on top of it! I'm so mad!

I'm curious what you expected the shelter to do, beyond offering you shelter?

[nicoleflynn]

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Calll the Domestic Violence (national hotline); even tho you aren' being physically abused, they can help you.Is your husband out of the house now? What are you trying to buy time for? Do you have a plan? DO something with that anger; see a counselor, call the hotline, etc., etc....until someone helps you. your children are suffering, also. I stayed too long because of fear......xo

Originally Posted by DBTDiva

I'm curious what you expected the shelter to do, beyond offering you shelter?

They didn't offer us shelter, they acted like I needed to be beaten to receive their help. They also gave me no guidance as to whether or not I could file for a PFA. I guess I thought they would have referrals or work with other agencies that may have been able to give me a little guidance on what legal options I might have to keep us safe in our own home.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by Plumprincess

They didn't offer us shelter, they acted like I needed to be beaten to receive their help. They also gave me no guidance as to whether or not I could file for a PFA. I guess I thought they would have referrals or work with other agencies that may have been able to give me a little guidance on what legal options I might have to keep us safe in our own home.

Oh, I see, I misunderstood your original post. How horrible and frustrating!

Originally Posted by DBTDiva

Oh, I see, I misunderstood your original post. How horrible and frustrating!

That's ok I just wish that when someone calls a service like that they would find information, not money or a magic fix but perhaps some guidance in such a scary and confusing time. What is worse is the focus on physical abuse. I haven't suffered physical abuse but wow!!! I am mentally exhausted. I just needed someone to steer me in the right direction. Mental abuse is abuse and should be taken just as serious.