 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Dec 27, 2015, 06:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am so hurt. Im married to the man i prayed for and we have been married 11 years. During our 4th year of marriage I found out he has bone cancer. He hid it from me until he became so ill i had to rush him to the hospital. We have a 10 yr old son, anyway, I'm so unhappy, for so many reasons. I used to be a happy, sparky, smily, person. Now I'm always crying and withdrawn.
I go to work and i have no choice but to be open. i come home and I'm sad. i also take care of my husbands niece who has a disability and she is a lot of work to take care of. She has mental retardation and schizophrenia. I don't have a social life. I am just so sad. I don't wanna seem selfish but I'm going crazy inside. I have no friends because i have no time for them  I always come home to sadness.I'm trying to be strong and not dwell on my circumstances because their are other people less fortunate than me. and I should be thankful and grateful. so why can't I shake these hurt feelings |
 arbbarb, green0cake
|
|
#2
Dec 27, 2015, 09:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
i'm sorry to hear this.
But, you know that nothing will ever change if you stay exactly the same Is there any way that anyone you know could help you with your niece? Besides, you got a son who depends on you, so he will learn from you also. He needs love and attention. Can't anyone who you know help you? How come you have no friends? And what happened to your husband? Remember that your life begins with you. Only you can decide how will it be. |
|
#3
Dec 27, 2015, 09:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Please try not to minimize your own feelings by saying that others have it worse. Bunny trail this line of thinking and nobody has a right to be sad/upset/depressed except for the one person on this planet who actually is worse off than everyone else. You have a right to feel this way, and reasons for feeling this way. It's not just a matter of making the feelings go away. It sounds like you need help (in terms of actual support in taking care of your niece and perhaps therapy too).
__________________
Will work for bananas.
|
 DBTDiva
|
|
#4
Dec 27, 2015, 09:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
We just got medication for my niece and we are currently looking for residential treatment for her. In order to maintain a friendship you have to engage in it and i rarely have time to socialize. which is why i have no friends. My friendships seem to have dwindled away. My husband has had non bodkins lymphoma since he was a child. He never told me this when we were dating. He was actually in remission and I had no idea. Thanks for the feedback 
|
|
#5
Dec 27, 2015, 09:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#6
Dec 27, 2015, 09:56 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
First of all, try to keep your mind always positive. I know it is difficult, but if you try it I can guarantee you that it is worth it.
|
|
#7
Dec 28, 2015, 12:21 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
You have caregiver burnout. You need to make time for YOU! Otherwise you are no good for anyone else. You DESERVE time to yourself. Are there worse off than you? Sure. Do you deserve less because of this? NO huge resounding NO. Take care of yourself. Get help, find help, accept help. You are worth it!
|
| DBTDiva, Trippin2.0
|
|
#8
Dec 28, 2015, 12:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It does sound like you have a burnout.
What is your husband doing right now? Is he any help at all? |
|
#9
Dec 28, 2015, 07:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#10
Dec 28, 2015, 08:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#11
Dec 29, 2015, 12:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
What is your husband's prognosis? Why is he in pain?
I had cancer when I was a child, I inherited it from my father and I have 50% change of passing it on to my children. When I started dating my now husband I was in love and I was very afraid he would end it with me if I told him. But I didn't want to lie so I chose a moment early in our relationship and I told him. He accepted that and we are married now. The fact that your husband didn't tell you about it is unfair. Was he aware of the risks? Maybe he didn't know it was important.
__________________
The thought that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains. - Paul Simon |
|
#12
Dec 29, 2015, 03:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 You need social outlets, friends, joy. You need hobbies and "me" time. You need to relax. You can't put that off until later because there's always something that needs to be done. You have to prioritize self-care. It's not selfish to put yourself first sometimes, it's survival. If you google "Self-care" you will come up with SO many articles and websites. There's a TED talk about the importance of self-care. This is some easy things to try: 28 Easy Self-Care Practices Anyone Can Do - mindbodygreen.com There's actually 4.2 million hits on google for "Self-care for caregivers!" https://www.caregiver.org/taking-car...ily-caregivers Prioritize yourself and you will have more to give to those you love.
__________________
Borderline PD/Major Depression/Anxiety  Living well in recovery from mental illness is possible!
|
|
#13
Jan 10, 2016, 02:13 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
