[DechanDawa]

Someone called me three weeks ago, after being out of my life for 18 months. I think he was just trolling the universe for attention. It bothered me more than it should have and put me in a funk. This person was really toxic and I felt poisoned just hearing from him. Has anyone had a similar experience? I told him off and expect he won't ever call again, so why am I still upset? He's not a nice person. I still feel poisoned by hearing from him.

[divine1966]

Sorry you are hurting. Keep this person out of your life for good

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[gayleggg]

Sounds like he triggered a lot of bad feelings. It may take some time for them to subside. Good for you for telling him off.

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Dechan, even the voice of someone can trigger memories. It is normal to feel that way, but it will dissipate. I guess you will have to remember that you are strong, you did the right thing and you have boundaries. I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself on the phone and expressing what was unacceptable for you. It sounds like you are working on staying healthy. You are a wonderful reminder to the rest of us to do the same. tc

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by omegalamed

Dechan, even the voice of someone can trigger memories. It is normal to feel that way, but it will dissipate. I guess you will have to remember that you are strong, you did the right thing and you have boundaries. I am proud of you for sticking up for yourself on the phone and expressing what was unacceptable for you. It sounds like you are working on staying healthy. You are a wonderful reminder to the rest of us to do the same. tc

Thank you for this. You are so right about someone's voice and choice of words triggering painful memories. It took me by surprise. Your comment was so thoughtful and comforting. Like a bit of balm to soothe my injured soul.

[DechanDawa]

Thank you, all.

[Chyialee]

Dechan, so sorry this poison-pal popped into your life (temporarily, I trust) and dredged up all those negative feelings. Been there, had that -- literally would be sick to my stomach & vomiting after. Person in my case was also a relative, and after I finally cut her loose fo good, all I would have to hear was her name and it could cause all manner of aftershocks. I had to take her power away, yanno? You've done absolutely the correct & healthy thing by sending this ex-friend out of your life with a bug in his ear! Go you!!

Our stability & emotional safety is far too valuable to jeopardize via input from toxic folk. We have to choose ourselves, and our sanity, no? xxoo Chyia, thumbsup!!

[DechanDawa]

[quote=Chyialee;4896938]Dechan, so sorry this poison-pal popped into your life (temporarily, I trust) and dredged up all those negative feelings. Been there, had that -- literally would be sick to my stomach & vomiting after. Person in my case was also a relative, and after I finally cut her loose fo good, all I would have to hear was her name and it could cause all manner of aftershocks. I had to take her power away, yanno? You've done absolutely the correct & healthy thing by sending this ex-friend out of your life with a bug in his ear! Go you!!

Our stability & emotional safety is far too valuable to jeopardize via input from toxic folk. We have to choose ourselves, and our sanity, no? xxoo Chyia, thumbsup!![/qute]

Beautifully stated. I guess I had a chink in my armor and he slipped the sword in. Been watching too much Game of Thrones.

Just surprised at how much suffering arises from contact with a toxic person, even just a phone call. He is gone for good. Now I am going to really be so much more careful to protect myself. I heard a good quote the other day. It said, "Life gives you a sword and a shield. Use them appropriately. Don't be bullied."

Yay.

Some chinks in the armor can be useful - serves as a sometimes needed reminder to be vigilant for bad behaviors in others. (I'm thinking along the lines of getting stung by a bee, so being cautious around bees in the future.)

Glad you stood up for yourself.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Onward

Some chinks in the armor can be useful - serves as a sometimes needed reminder to be vigilant for bad behaviors in others. (I'm thinking along the lines of getting stung by a bee, so being cautious around bees in the future.)

Glad you stood up for yourself.

Excellent point. I think I will make "vigilant" my 2016 word for the year. Not overly cautious, but just alert...and...vigilant! Thanks!!!