Friend is demanding

Good for you trying to quit drinking. Just be strong and stay away from him. Good job!

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That's what I plan to do. I had to block another phone number of his this evening and also not answer my buzzer when he buzzed awhile ago. He is persistent. I sent him a letter that will probably get there on Mon. I wasn't mean to him, just said I cannot afford to do anything for him anymore and to find another person to rely on. I wished him the best of luck.

This is the letter I am sending to him tomorrow:

This past year I have helped you all I could. I no longer can afford to help you in any way. Find someone else to depend on. I want you to leave me alone and don't buzz me any more. Don't call me either. I'm finished.

I decided not to send the letter to him. I need his help with my dog and other things since I have a broken foot. I am not buying him any alcohol. He asked me about it and I told him no today. He is taking my dog out now.

•face palm* you realize that you've just invited him back into your life right? Good luck getting rid of him in the future because now he's not going to take you seriously. And come on do you really think he's not going to ask to be compensated for his time? He's probably helping you out with intentions of asking you for money/booze again. You're on your own now!

I had this issue for 10 yrs with my recent ex bf always giving him money yet he could get a job himself. he is like his dad takes advantage of others yet accused me quite a bit of taking advantage of him. When I let go of our relationship, I told him he was on his own financially that was when he got a new job that hadn't start yet and I refuse to give him a ride back home.

I tried helping ex get a job he can perfectly do that on his own yet refused to work on the applications he was so damn slow at it. Everything was my fault the due date was closed, well who missed it? He did apparently but still my fault. The way he's spending now not good.

What a nasty post!! I never sent him the letter. I am going to pay him for cleaning for me and taking my dog out. I am not buying him any alcohol as he already knows.

Okay. Best of luck to you.

I am not coming back to this thread. There's no good support here for me.

Everyone acts like it is so easy to find 100 % good reliable friends and that other people are 100 % bad and we should have nothing to do with them. Every time I had had a problem with a friend the advice is the same, "Don't ever see them again". Basically we should just tell people to hell all the time I guess unless they are perfect.

Often people are both good and bad and sometimes it is hard to know how much bad is worth taking for the good.

My best friend is very supportive but has a brain injury and I'm told over and over that I should "get rid of her" because she is not perfect. Then everyone should get rid of me as well. My friend means well but she makes tons of weird mistakes all the time that affect me. I had to set her straight more than once. Still I don't want to lose her.

Got a point. The friend is a user plain and simple he needs to get his life together.

Thank you. It's nice to see someone who understands how it is. My friend can be very helpful and no one even said anything about the fact that I can hardly walk with a broken foot and need help. Well, he is going to do my grocery shopping, walk my dog and clean my apt and yes I am going to pay him because he has no income. He gets his housing for free rather than him be homeless. Yes, he has a drinking problem but I am not going to buy him anymore alcohol. I told him no about it today. Since blocking him for 3 days he is acting better now.

He will work for money, is that a user? He has a severe disability and cannot work a regular job and is waiting for social security disability. I am not letting him take advantage of me any more, isn't that saying something. So many people tell me to get rid of him but are any of you going to help me with my broken foot????????????????????? I didn't think so.

He takes me more seriously now after blocking him for 3 days. He called me and I answered as I took the block off. He's had a good time out for his bad behavior. Seems like you need one as well. I'd rather be on my own with him than people that act as you do who only like me conditionally!!

Sorry about your foot. But How could we possibly help you with your foot if we don't know you irl? I don't even know if we live in the same state. I hope you get well soon

People only advice you to get rid of him because how you described him and his actions ( pretty much harassing you and demand booze) and because you wanted to know how to get rid of him. If he is great then it is no issue. If you initially posted that you have this awesome friend no one would tell you to get rid of him. We can only go by what you posted



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Hey I'm sorry that I offended you but you asked for help, we all gave you advice, and then you pretty much went back on everything you said you did to get rid of this guy in the first place. I was only trying to help and point out that you're possibly making a mistake and going back on YOUR OWN words by letting him back in your life after you've made so many attempts to be rid of him. If you can't handle honesty then don't ask!

If you simply don't give him anymore money or booze, he will visit eventually give up on you. My nextdoor neighbor has a son who used to come to my door asking me for money. My stock answer to that is "Sorry, I don't have any." I did used to give him a beer. That got old and I don't anymore. When he saw he was wasting his time asking, he gave up.

I don't think the letter is a good idea. You're making it complicated. Keep it simple: "Sorry, I've got no cash in the house." "Sorry, you can't come in to visit because I have to lie down now." The less words exchanged, the better.

Rose the whole situation changed . See last posts

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I did not send him the letter. If you read the whole thread you would see that but I don't blame you for not wanting to read all that stuff. I am just telling him no to alcohol. He is walking my dog for me since I can hardly walk with a broken foot. I am going to tell him to stop trying to get me to buy alcohol. I am ordering food online so he doesn't have to do my grocery shopping for me. I am also going to ask him to get my prescriptions for me. I have 3 flights of stairs to go down to get to my car and with an air cast on I can hardly do that. I almost fell again today trying to get my mail. My friend has only once acted demanding for alcohol. I have forgiven him and I blocked his phone number for 3 days when he did that. That sent him a message not to demand anything from me anymore.

My friend has become much nicer to me. He has been walking my dog every day now and that's important to me. He just went to get me groceries. I looked into getting food online and it's really expensive that way as are many things you get online. I am paying him for all he does and he appreciates that very much. So he fulfills my needs and I his and all is okay now.

Are you sure he's a friend? It looks like you are paying to him for his services, making him an employee of your of some sort.

It's not wrong to give a friend money so he can live a better life when he helps you. I had to make him take money from me. He wouldn't take any until I insisted because he needs it so badly.

It looks like you are helping each other. Keep appropriate boundaries, and it may work out okay for the both of you.

Keep a little notebook where you recird what he does for you and what compensation you give him.

Yes, we are helping each other. I don't give him a lot of money because I don't have a lot of money to give. I never thought of keeping track of what he does and how I compensate him.

I am glad he is nice. Just be careful if he changes his attitude when you stop paying him the way he did before. I agree about not keeping track if he is a friend but since he demanded things before I would do it for my own protection

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