[Flooringbrown]

I started a relationship with a guy in summer 2014 and we broke up in September 2015

Since the break up he just won't let me go. He says that I'm the only person he wants and that the thought of him being with someone else makes him feel sick and disgusting.

He's trying so so hard to keep our relationship. At first when I was diagnosed with depression he found it very hard, we both did but he's saying he wants to support me through it and it what people in love do, they help and love eachother until the end because they're in love etc.

He's done a lot in our relationship to hurt me. He was never unfaithful but his words and actions hurt a lot and I found it too hard to continue and also with my depression I had to end things.

Since the break up he's always still been there for me in his own way. Texting and calling to see how I am. Sometimes we'd meet up for lunch or we'd have a coffee and chat about nothing specific, just enjoy eachothers company.

He's really trying so hard but I don't know what to do. I'm scared to trust him with my feelings as I'm terrified of being hurt all over again.

I've recently started dating someone else and he's wonderful but he's just not right if you know what I mean.

My ex means so much to me and I can tell how much he loves me and wants to be with me still.

I really don't know what to do. I'm hurt but I still love him but part of me is worried I'll just be hurt again. All he wants is to spend time with me, it's never been about sex or anything else apart from us.

I just don't know what to do

[kaliope]

hi flooringbrown
it sounds like he realizes the mistake he made in the relationship and is making amends and showing you he can be different. you talk about how he hurt you in many ways. has he done any of this in the last three months he has been supporting you as a friend? you do not have to dive back into a committed, give your whole heart and soul over to him relationship. just date, take it slow. dont move in together. keep the boundaries clear. three months i feel a person could "fake look good" but give it another three and see if the old BF comes out. after that i think you can let more of your heart into the relationship. if he hurts you in that time, you are not so committed/involved that it is a difficult decision to opt out again.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Flooring brown, you are not being stupid. You have to ask yourself, do you still value your ex enough to want his friendship? And if you do then you are going to have to trust him and be vulnerable to being hurt again. Your new boyfriend is not working out, is it cause you are comparing him to your ex? That is not fair. Why not just take a break from both for a whole week and think of the best of each and the worse of each. Trust what your heart is telling you not your head. And go from there. We all risk trust and being vulnerable every day of our lives. You have to ask yourself, is it worth the risk to you? Think about what YOU want and JUST GO FOR IT... Blessings.. tc