I asked this questions many years ago, and will ask it again: when you walk down the street, alone or with someone else, where do you look? For me it is a puzzle, especially when I am alone, which is mostly the case, I don't know where to look; no eye contact, not at guys/men, not at girls/women, not at the floor, and not straight up. So, basically I keep my head moving quickly in all directions, which is also awkward.

[TigerLight]

I look all around at my surroundings.

Originally Posted by TigerLight

I look all around at my surroundings.

Do you feel weird when you do that?

Depends on the people. If I feel safe and comfortable i make eye contact and smile. If I don't I look at the sidewalk.

[Pepi]

I look straight ahead. If a person walks by, I look at them in the eye regardless of gender/age. I used to have my gaze plastered on the ground as I walked on the streets. Decided to change that. At first, it was scary, but after a while it became a habit, to which I don't pay too much attention.

[marmaduke]

I suffered with social phobia, for most of my life I looked at the ground, head down terrified to make eye contact.
I hated meeting any one who knew me in the street, I would panic fight or flight response would kick in.
The phobia and cripplingly low self esteem stopped me doing much with my life.
I HATE mother for doing this to me.

Age 40 I had an epiphany, everything became clear. Things had to change. I could not carry on like this any more.
It was kill or cure. Literally, things HAD to change.

So I set myself on a mission.

I brought self help books by the dozen and did as they told me.
I remember my first task. It was to look in the eye, smile, and say hello to the postman.
I did it! I was so pleased with myself.

Gradually things became easier. Took a long time (3 years) of practice , practice, practice.
Now I am OK, nearly normal.

I look the world in the eye now.
F##k what people think of me.

I take Paxil which works well for me.

I am angry very angry with the b##ch that was "mother'

Everything everyone else knew, normal stuff that came naturally to them I've had to teach myself.

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[divine1966]

Most of the time I look ahead but I often look down at the floor or ground. I am not shy and am not afraid of eye contact so I am not entirely sure why. I think part of it is that when I was young and look men in the eye they assumed I was flirting. I am not s flirty type at all. Actually my mom had the same situations as we have the same eyes. So we always joked we are better off looking at the ground so men don't assume we are flirting or sending some subliminal messages. But if was in a different culture too where men often assumed things.

I'll try to pay attention where I look. Come think of it I drive all the time and rarely even walk!

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[scatterbrained04]

I look straight ahead mostly. When people pass, I smile and say "hi." I try to do this no matter how I feel. Usually, I feel more like staring at the ground and not speaking a word. Then I realized it probably made me seem weird, so I changed.

[avlady]

i live near some rocky streets so i look down so i don't trip on a rock, which i have done and sprained my ankles. otherwise i like to look up to see the scenery.

Originally Posted by Pepi

I look straight ahead. If a person walks by, I look at them in the eye regardless of gender/age. I used to have my gaze plastered on the ground as I walked on the streets. Decided to change that. At first, it was scary, but after a while it became a habit, to which I don't pay too much attention.

What thoughts were passing in your head when you were looking at the ground? and when you decided to change that, what are the new thoughts you adopted to override the old ones to look at people faces and make eye contacts?

Originally Posted by divine1966

Most of the time I look ahead but I often look down at the floor or ground. I am not shy and am not afraid of eye contact so I am not entirely sure why. I think part of it is that when I was young and look men in the eye they assumed I was flirting. I am not s flirty type at all. Actually my mom had the same situations as we have the same eyes. So we always joked we are better off looking at the ground so men don't assume we are flirting or sending some subliminal messages. But if was in a different culture too where men often assumed things.

I'll try to pay attention where I look. Come think of it I drive all the time and rarely even walk!

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For me it is the opposite; I have those thoughts that I will be judged and accused by others that I am perverted.

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

I look straight ahead mostly. When people pass, I smile and say "hi." I try to do this no matter how I feel. Usually, I feel more like staring at the ground and not speaking a word. Then I realized it probably made me seem weird, so I changed.

What are the responses you usually get?

Originally Posted by avlady

i live near some rocky streets so i look down so i don't trip on a rock, which i have done and sprained my ankles. otherwise i like to look up to see the scenery.

And if you are in a bit city where all you have around you tall buildings and a lot of people?

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Le.Monsieur.S

What are the responses you usually get?

If you smile and say "hi" other people just smile and say "hi" back and carry on with whatever they were doing. Sometimes some people will talk to you a bit. No big deal.

The plus side of walking with your head up is that you won't run into s***

I normally look ahead, watch the ground ahead of me for dangers (potholes, stones, etc.) and occasionaly look around to see if I'm not being followed.

Being born and raised in a big and violent city in my country, I learned that it's a good idea to watch my back at all times.

Now I live in a small town in Ireland, but I still look at people suspiciously and take a glance over my shoulder every so often. It's not a habit I'm too bothered to break, because you never know, better be aware of your surroundings just in case...

[JustJenny]

I never really thought about where I look where I'm outside...

It really depends. If I am in a new unfamiliar place I look around, if I am out hiking I look around and look down occasionally to avoid stepping into something, when I am jogging I stare into the distance. When I am stressed I stare into the distance ignoring the surroundings. I like observing life in general. Birdwatching and photography are my hobbies so I am often looking around for birds (even in big cities) or interesting things to make pictures of.

I don't avoid eye contacts unless the people I am approaching look shady.

Originally Posted by BuildABridge

I normally look ahead, watch the ground ahead of me for dangers (potholes, stones, etc.) and occasionaly look around to see if I'm not being followed.

Being born and raised in a big and violent city in my country, I learned that it's a good idea to watch my back at all times.

Now I live in a small town in Ireland, but I still look at people suspiciously and take a glance over my shoulder every so often. It's not a habit I'm too bothered to break, because you never know, better be aware of your surroundings just in case...

That is a good thing to do to be safe, but do you feel nervous to look at the people in the eyes or in the faces, or just nervous that your being followed?

Originally Posted by JustJenny

I never really thought about where I look where I'm outside...

It really depends. If I am in a new unfamiliar place I look around, if I am out hiking I look around and look down occasionally to avoid stepping into something, when I am jogging I stare into the distance. When I am stressed I stare into the distance ignoring the surroundings. I like observing life in general. Birdwatching and photography are my hobbies so I am often looking around for birds (even in big cities) or interesting things to make pictures of.

I don't avoid eye contacts unless the people I am approaching look shady.

When you look at the people in the eyes, what is going on in your head? like do you think that looking at people in the eye makes me look more friendly, it is out of curiosity, or it just happens unconsciously?

For me I am very self-aware of myself, and everywhere I look, there is some negative thought that I will be judged.

A general question: I think the main reason why I don't look at people in the eyes is that I have this idea in the back of my head that looking at people in the eyes, especially at girls/women, is something impolite. I am not talking about staring, I am talking about looking at someone in the face for a second, or two may be, and keep walking. Is it just me who feels that way? and is this a wrong assumption?

I tend to just look at people, smile, and say "Good morning" (or whatever quick greeting is handy at the time) and continue on my way. Generally, I get a smile and pleased "good morning" back to me.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Le.Monsieur.S

For me it is the opposite; I have those thoughts that I will be judged and accused by others that I am perverted.

I could see how it makes you worried . There is a fine line between looking and starring and it is sometimes hard to figure out which is which

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[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Le.Monsieur.S

A general question: I think the main reason why I don't look at people in the eyes is that I have this idea in the back of my head that looking at people in the eyes, especially at girls/women, is something impolite. I am not talking about staring, I am talking about looking at someone in the face for a second, or two may be, and keep walking. Is it just me who feels that way? and is this a wrong assumption?

It could be cultural? In some cultures looking in the eye isn't very encouraged. Otherwise in the western world looking in the eye briefly is ok. Staring isn't.

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[JustJenny]

Originally Posted by Le.Monsieur.S

When you look at the people in the eyes, what is going on in your head? like do you think that looking at people in the eye makes me look more friendly, it is out of curiosity, or it just happens unconsciously?

For me I am very self-aware of myself, and everywhere I look, there is some negative thought that I will be judged.

You know, I was not always looking people in the eyes. I have an eye problem - I don't see well with my left eye and my eyes are a little crossed. Since I was bullied at school A LOT because of my eyes being slightly crossed, I stopped looking people in the eyes. I would actively avoid eye-contact because I thought they would think that I am a freak or retarded. It took me years to realize that my eye problem was not a big deal at all and that most people don't notice it.

I look people in the eyes to acknowledge their existence. I don't have any real reasons to avoid eye contact (now that my crossed-eye paranoia has been solved). I sometimes avoid eye-contact with people that look like they would like to chat but mostly because I don't speak the local language well and I am a little self-conscious about it.

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I tend to just look at people, smile, and say "Good morning" (or whatever quick greeting is handy at the time) and continue on my way. Generally, I get a smile and pleased "good morning" back to me.

What are you thinking when you do that? I mean why? Is it because something nice to do, or to prove something to others and to yourself?

Originally Posted by Le.Monsieur.S

What are you thinking when you do that? I mean why? Is it because something nice to do, or to prove something to others and to yourself?

I'm thinking "hello". Not much to it really. Just a friendly greeting I guess. The other alternative is to ignore people or be unfriendly as I see it, so why not just be pleasant? I guess that's my thinking more or less. No, definitely not out to prove anything to anyone, particularly since, if these are people I don't know and may never see again, what would there be to prove?