My Boyfriend Left Me

Over the last few months, my mood swings have been awful; only, I had never really noticed them. I would be fine, or I would shut completely down for no real reason. I was dodging family events with his family because his family dynamic was much different than mine (their family is close, while mine isn't at all).

He wound up leaving me around 3 weeks ago, claiming it was because of "my attitude" and not wanting to do anything with his family (he never approached me about this beforehand or tried to talk to me). Later on, I learned that he was concerned about my mood swings and never had the gall to tell me himself. Everyone that saw waited until the damage was already done.

Now, I am currently being treated for depression/anxiety, but it's not a conclusive diagnosis... yet. They put me on Lexapro, and it's the most normal I've felt in a very long time.

Since then, he has since deleted me out of his life (as far as I can tell). He hasn't tried to contact me (other than me apologizing after hearing about his dog's death), he has deleted me on Facebook, and has made no effort to see how I was doing.

We were together for 1 and a 1/2 years, and he just abandoned me randomly for reasons that don't even make sense to our mutual friends. I wrote him a letter to let him know what was going on, but it hasn't been delivered yet. I plan on giving it to him sometime after my first therapy session.

I am at a complete loss now, because he was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Hi I also have a problem with a girl but its not similar to yours ..

What I can tell you .. is that when I felt that something was wrong with her I asked her whats wrong ...

And also told her that in case something happens .. anywhere anytime im there for her ...

If he left you without even trying to find what is wrong I dont have any clue whats actually going on in his mind ..

Relationship often ends. It is sad but it is what it is. It sucks he didn't explain it better but who knows what's going on in his mind. It might be for the best for you. I am glad hour Meds are working

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I'm sorry for your suffering. I just wanted to offer you a different perspective below.

I have been guilty of this type of behavior before myself - the never approaching you about this or trying to talk to you about it. During this period in my life, I pretty much just assumed that the correct way to go about relationships was to accept the person the way they were - or not. No sense trying to change them, accept what you can or leave if you can't. So I would rarely, if ever, discuss something about my partner's behavior that I didn't like - it was part of who they were and I felt I had no right to try and coerce them into changing. I'm not saying that this was the correct or healthiest way to have a relationship - but it was a great improvement over the models of relationships I had learned from.

Again, for me, I just didn't figure I had the right. It had nothing to do with gall or courage. My thinking was that you've managed to live this long without my input about your behavior or mood swings - if you wanted to change or do something about them you would have. Accept them or move on.

My relationship skills have improved since that period of my life - but I'm old now, and have had plenty of time to develop them. Anyway, just offering a different way to look at his behavior and choices in the event that it will help.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

I'm sorry he just totally blind sided you like that! That's not fair at all. I'm the type of person that demands communication even when it hurts. My bf actually decided to spill his guts to me about my MI and how he doesn't believe in it and said I can get over it if I tried! Yea, I should of dumped him. IMO, if this guy is just going to drop you like that without even trying to understand you or even ask, I'd move on! And I don't even thiNk he deserves a note but if that helps you move on and get closure then do what you have to I suppose.

Just a side note... You said you were having really bad mood swings. Ever been screened for BP? I've been depressed and have anxiety but my mood swings come from my BP2. Good luck and take care of yourself!

I found myself in a similar situation. I girl I had fell in love with that saved me from my depression and raised me up in life and a person crushed my heart after being together in love for 8 months. I was so distraught that I tried to end my life because I couldn't imagine or did I want to live my life without her. And now she still isn't talking to me even as a friend. I, obviously, was saved from my attempt to end myself and I have been getting better. As for my advice yes I believe that you should talk to him and have a discussion about what really is keeping him from you. I would also give it time. I hated when people told me to give it time but then I was put in the hospital and had nothing but time in isolation and looking back it really did help. You just need to solve it without focusing on it too much to the point you let it overwhelm you. Better times are ahead trust me.

I agree with this as well. You should send the letter for some closure. He could possible be scared and just didn't know how to react. If I was in his shoes I would open my mind more to the fact that you have a problem and try and work it out. I think you would regret not sending the letter but please if it works just try not to get into a toxic relationship. Meaning where he is too inconsiderate of your MI.

Thank you everyone! I have since written the letter and gave it to my best friend. So as to keep my anxiety down, I asked her not to tell me when she finally gives it to him. I just asked her to give it to him after the 26th, which was my first therapy appointment.

At the moment, they are treating me for Anxiety. Bipolar does run in my family, but nothing has been confirmed yet. I, myself, believe it to be Bipolar 2. Every self-screening I've taken has come up positive.

Mind sharing some more experiences with me about how your mood fluctuates and what your mind thinks about? I'm in this weird depression, anxiety type deal where I think it could be bp2 then switch back to only thinking anxiety. It's rather confusing and very frustrating.

Sure, no problem! I am friends with my (now) exboyfriend's friends, and he would always want to go out with them. Now, I like all of them. But for some reason, I would get really annoyed that he would want to go out and shut down. I wouldn't lash out or talk or anything, I would just kinda stand around and observe everyone. After a few minutes or an hour or two (depending on the day), or if I had a beer or two, I would relax and slip back into my normal self.

The same would go when they teased me. They would just be making fun of me (all in good fun), and I would get way more upset than I really should.

There was also a time where my boyfriend's family was throwing a party for his brother. I was in the midst of fighting with my mom about my drug addict brother, and she said something really hurtful. So, I went from socializing fine with everyone to curling up in my boyfriend's bed and crying, and I simply couldn't snap out of it.