Is it possible to truly know someone?

PieceofMe · Feb 13, 2016, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickname

Knowing people will lead you to two conclusions: either they are generally good people, or they are generally bad people, whatever good and bad mean to you. If they are good, stay with them, if they are bad, leave them. Knowing is good. Don't fear it, and live your life.

I think people are in between. I don't trust them anymore but I feel like nobody is good or bad. They suck and will hurt you, lie to you just like anybody else can.

Feb 13, 2016, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PieceofMe

I think people are in between. I don't trust them anymore but I feel like nobody is good or bad. They suck and will hurt you, lie to you just like anybody else can.

I said generally good or bad. No one is absolutely good, or absolutely bad. Your statement is a sweeping generalization. You don't know everyone to say for sure that people are this or that. I don't have friends, but I know it is my problem. I am hypersensitive, and anxious around people. So, I am trying to fix myself

kray_bray_may · Feb 15, 2016, 10:01 PM

So how do I deal with alienation?

healingme4me · Feb 15, 2016, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

So how do I deal with alienation?

Depends. From a clique? Family? Work?

Valuing yourself is part of it. Not placing all your eggs in one basket, is another.

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kray_bray_may · Feb 15, 2016, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Depends. From a clique? Family? Work?

Valuing yourself is part of it. Not placing all your eggs in one basket, is another.

Pretty much every single person around me.

healingme4me · Feb 15, 2016, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

Pretty much every single person around me.

On purpose or is this a feeling of disconnect?

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kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

On purpose or is this a feeling of disconnect?

I feel disconnected from everyone. Some of it is on purpose because I don't see the point in interacting with people.

healingme4me · Feb 16, 2016, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

I feel disconnected from everyone. Some of it is on purpose because I don't see the point in interacting with people.

But are they purposely alienating themselves from you?

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kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

But are they purposely alienating themselves from you?

Oh, I'm sure they're not. I'm just trying to get across what's going on for me.

healingme4me · Feb 16, 2016, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

Oh, I'm sure they're not. I'm just trying to get across what's going on for me.

Which is a feeling of disconnect, which is why I asked so that I could better understand.

Since you're out of sessions and found them ineffective, do you have a doctor that you can speak with? Have you ever been treated for depression?

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kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Which is a feeling of disconnect, which is why I asked so that I could better understand.

Since you're out of sessions and found them ineffective, do you have a doctor that you can speak with? Have you ever been treated for depression?

If you mean a GP, I've got one yes, but that's one of the last people I would go to for mental health problems. In fact, I feel like I can't confide in almost anyone. I haven't been diagnosed. With my counselors at school, I've gone over some symptoms of depression.

healingme4me · Feb 16, 2016, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

If you mean a GP, I've got one yes, but that's one of the last people I would go to for mental health problems. In fact, I feel like I can't confide in almost anyone. I haven't been diagnosed. With my counselors at school, I've gone over some symptoms of depression.

What about your parents? Siblings? Cousins? Grandparents?

What destroyed your ability to confide and trust?

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kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

What about your parents? Siblings? Cousins? Grandparents?

What destroyed your ability to confide and trust?

I would like to preface this post by thanking you for staying up this late with me. I see you're in New England and it's nearly 2 in the morning for the both of us.

Truthfully, I never confide in my parents. I fear I'll be judged. In fact, that fear is usually why I don't confide to others. Growing up, my family almost always communicated poorly. My previous partner was the first person I truly opened up to. I suspect this malaise right now is a mix of the newfound experience of trusting and confiding and some old habits coming back. Additionally, I work in the media industry and I've been paranoid about opening up to anyone for fear my words will be used against me.

Trippin2.0 · Feb 16, 2016, 02:26 AM

From what I've read in your thread, I think the issue is two fold...

Can you truly know someone AND accept them.

I think certain people can and do have the ability to eventually be transparent, regarding who and what they are. But then the snag is, will we be accepted when we reveal all of us.

Some of us reveal the good the bad and the ugly and are luckily met with acceptance. That's not to say my "ugly" has been given my bf's stamp of approval, but just that it happened and I'm accepted anyway, as I don't want to keep repeating the bad and the ugly. Others, not so much.

Maybe its their fault for being horrid or doing horrid things, or maybe they miscalculated and revealed themselves to the wrong party.

I'm sorry to hear you've chosen to disconnect from others, and hope you can heal from this experience.

healingme4me · Feb 16, 2016, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

I would like to preface this post by thanking you for staying up this late with me. I see you're in New England and it's nearly 2 in the morning for the both of us.

Truthfully, I never confide in my parents. I fear I'll be judged. In fact, that fear is usually why I don't confide to others. Growing up, my family almost always communicated poorly. My previous partner was the first person I truly opened up to. I suspect this malaise right now is a mix of the newfound experience of trusting and confiding and some old habits coming back. Additionally, I work in the media industry and I've been paranoid about opening up to anyone for fear my words will be used against me.

You're welcome, I'm on a winter hiatus of sorts. I'd call it vacation, but I don't really find it vacation-like at all.

Media industry, no wonder. Perhaps it's a positive about your persona to have?

We are shaped by our parents for better or worse and all places in between. I've my own type of levels of trusting others. Perhaps I stopped dwelling if I did dwell? Or perhaps I've learned to embrace it about myself?

When in doubt, don't and just go with the flow. It can be compensated for and gradually you can build a life around it.

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kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 02:45 AM

Here in Toronto, students are off on Canada's edition of spring break called "reading week."

With respect to compensation, I'm unsure that would look like. I don't really want to build around this, but to eradicate it. The "cure", if I may.

kray_bray_may · Feb 16, 2016, 11:49 PM

The alienation is hitting again

healingme4me · Feb 17, 2016, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

Here in Toronto, students are off on Canada's edition of spring break called "reading week."

With respect to compensation, I'm unsure that would look like. I don't really want to build around this, but to eradicate it. The "cure", if I may.

What if there's no "cure"? There are certain professions where it's a strength to have the ability to see through phony baloney or to have suspicions. It's an edge as far as I'm concerned. Not a flaw.

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kray_bray_may · Feb 18, 2016, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healingme4me

What if there's no "cure"? There are certain professions where it's a strength to have the ability to see through phony baloney or to have suspicions. It's an edge as far as I'm concerned. Not a flaw.

It is an advantage in some cases, yes. However, I don't want to be paranoid all the time. I went out for drinks with a coworker last night, and I was uncomfortable opening up about myself, which does bother me.

healingme4me · Feb 19, 2016, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kray_bray_may

It is an advantage in some cases, yes. However, I don't want to be paranoid all the time. I went out for drinks with a coworker last night, and I was uncomfortable opening up about myself, which does bother me.

A coworker is a tough call, in regards to opening up.

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Feb 19, 2016, 01:41 AM

I look for the day when I find someone who feels the way I do about this song and then I know I will know this person without getting to know them

divine1966 · Feb 19, 2016, 07:40 AM

I don't know why one would consider opening up to a coworker? It's actually recommended not to do so.

I have two friends at work, we are friends and just happen to work together but other than that I am friendly but not opening up to other co workers . Why would I?

I think it's a good idea to not pour your soul out to colleagues

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kray_bray_may · Feb 19, 2016, 03:56 PM

The person's also a friend outside work. I should add that our workplace is more casual than the image the word "office" conjures.

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