[Redbadger]

I've been in a relationship for nearly a year and a half now and it's been really good on the whole. My main issue is every now and then I get really angry and put out about things. It may be the way I feel I was treated by someone it may be an issue I see as unfair. Never physical violence or threats, rather more like venting a lot and ranting. My partner says to deal with it as she sees it as my main failing and hates it. How do I deal with it? I can't afford therapy bit any issue that has a negative impact on my relationship must be nipped in the bud if at all possible

[healingme4me]

Looking at anger is a two fold process, in my opinion. One it involves addressing what it is from your past that creates an overreaction in the here and now. The other is looking at each emotion as it falls before you and look at the present, are these valid reasons to be angry and then how to address it in an appropriate way.

Are you belittling to your girlfriend? Does it cause embarassment when you rant and rave? What exactly is it about having anger that causes your gf to tell you to address it? Because it is actually healthy to get angry at things in the here and now. It can be a push to action. It's how you express it that can make a difference.

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Originally Posted by Redbadger

I've been in a relationship for nearly a year and a half now and it's been really good on the whole. My main issue is every now and then I get really angry and put out about things. It may be the way I feel I was treated by someone it may be an issue I see as unfair. Never physical violence or threats, rather more like venting a lot and ranting. My partner says to deal with it as she sees it as my main failing and hates it. How do I deal with it? I can't afford therapy bit any issue that has a negative impact on my relationship must be nipped in the bud if at all possible

In Japan I think they allow you to break things in special places to relief your anger if you pay some fees. I don't think it is a solution for anger, but sometimes when you are fully charged, it is difficult to reason with yourself.

For me, as I used (and I am still but to a lesser extent) get angry, I've learned to control my anger before it builds up, mostly by avoiding the things that upset me, if they are trivial things, and not addressing them is not that important, because if I get angry it means big problems.

Thinking about hurting your GF might help you if you love her, and don't want to hurt her.