[Macd123]

So those of you who have been following my saga, I told you about the young lady who I developed feelings for that was unrequited. I'm not going to give you the details because it's all been said before. So about two hours ago I received a romantic cartoon from her on Instagram. I don't think she sent it to anyone else. There was no narrative just the cartoon. Well this just tore me in two because I've been working hard to get her out of my system. Anyway, I have not responded to her message but I think I should. Just wanted to share - this is one of life's strange moments.

[~Christina]

Block her on your phone or an social media.

What did this romantic thing say ?

[divine1966]

What was on the cartoon? Like how romantic was it? What exactly was it?

I knew this guy who sent me romantic notes ( copied of Facebook) all while having a long term girlfriend ( which I later found out).

It really depends what the note said

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[Macd123]

It's hard to share - it's actually a bit sexual. I'm not kidding. Perhaps things aren't working out with her new man? I just don't know but it's weird. She also liked one of my Facebook photos - I really hadn't heard from her in a while so it's a mystery.

[divine1966]

Liking a photo isn't a big deal. What's on a cartoon though? Why is it hard to share? I'd ask why are you sending me this?

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[A Red Panda]

If you are worried about it, post the picture (not just the words as it is a cartoon) under a trigger warning. Only those of us who are trying to help you understand it will open it.

Take a screenshot of the comic, and crop it in paint or something so that we will only see the comic and not any identifying information.

She likely just found it funny. We won't be able to really guess until we see it.

And as you've already jumped right back into thinking that she is interested, and/or unhappy with her relationship...

All this is evidence of is that she did not cut off contact with you when she got into a new relationship - that was you. She has told you sh views you as a friend.

Liking someone's picture means squat - except that they like the picture.

[hannabee]

oh gosh, I'm sorry Mac, but it seems to me that you may be mis-reading this woman's intentions. You are 37 years older than her...that is a lot. Maybe you are a father figure of sorts? I wish you the best but I think until you start looking for someone closer to your age, these continual mis-understandings will do you more harm than good.

If she is indeed interested in you sexually and romantically, there is surely something amiss in her intentions, too. I'm afraid you will both end up losers, but she has plenty of time still left to figure things out, you, however, don't.

I think that you need to figure out why you want someone so much younger than you????

[Macd123]

Yeah well what can I say. The cartoon (video) involved a woman making love to herself. I deleted it. I guess I'm lacking in this area but it started things to churn in my head again - I've been working on moving on. She has a boyfriend (I think) and she is almost four decades younger. That said, I'm still confused to why she would do this when she just started a new relationship. I know it's creepy but I felt pretty good after getting this - at least she remembered I was alive and she thought about me. It would be nice to stay friends with her but i don't want to be her godmother either if things go astray.

PS this seems like sexting to me - don't know if her boyfriend would like this.

[Bill3]

I think it would be quite reasonable to say how surprised you were to get that image and gently inquire as to why she sent it to you.

[A Red Panda]

There is always the chance her account has been compromised. One on or two of the community groups I'm in have had people posting totally inappropriate vides - can tell from the paused screen.

Sending someone a video like that when there has been nothing at all in the interactions to suggest any sexual undertones..... Well is just such an extreme change in behaviour that it doesn't seem plausible.

[Bill3]

By asking her about the image you allow her to find out for herself if her accounts has been compromised and if so to change her passwords.

You could even simply tell her that you received a very surprising image from her and that she might want to change her password.

[unaluna]

Dude - sounds like something a mad possibly ex boyfriend would send. I would stop by the coffeeshop or wherever and mention that somebody sent you crap.

[Macd123]

She sent it - I asked her. She said she thought it was interesting. I didn't confront her on it.

[Bill3]

Good job asking her!

[divine1966]

What's wrong with her sending videos like this? There isn't anything romantic about it. Interesting? Say what? She is a bit dim isn't she? The lights are on but no one home. Or trashy. Decent women don't do that.

I would lose all interest in her

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[Macd123]

Did seem a bit forward - I never really fully explained my situation to her. I guess I covered up pretty good. Inside my foggy glasses this is a real mixed message. If I had a better history of relationships I'd probably shrug it off. However, in my skewed mind I took it as a compliment - funny how twisted things become.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by divine1966

What's wrong with her sending videos like this? There isn't anything romantic about it. Interesting? Say what? She is a bit dim isn't she? The lights are on but no one home. Or trashy. Decent women don't do that.
I would lose all interest in her
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This is why he isnt interested in women our age! Buddy, be careful you dont end up dead or robbed on a 48 hours murder show.

[Macd123]

I never said I wasn't interested in older women - where'd you get that idea. By the way that wasn't very nice.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Macd123

I never said I wasn't interested in older women - where'd you get that idea. By the way that wasn't very nice.

Sorry, i wasnt trying to be mean. But you were not exactly honest. And you say you are inexperienced. And i am addicted to those 48 hour type shows, so do be careful

I think you need to make a decision right here and right now. I think, you are living in a false hope. If she has a boyfriend, even if she is older, then you need to move on. If you want to keep contact with her, make up your mind that it's a friendship at best, and live your life accordingly by not wasting your time. If you're still not convinced, ask her how she sees you and your relationship. Good luck

[Macd123]

I'm hoping with a little time this will wear off. Right now the pull towards her is still strong. I have to get out of this current so I can think a more clearer. I was really surprised by her actions because they came out of nowhere. My mind was moving in twenty different directions when I saw that video - I think it knocked me back a bit from removing this infatuation. Thanks everyone.

I think you are spinning because you are indecisive. Make a decision and stick with it. For example, decide to block her if you are weak, and then you won't face these fluctuations (if she doesn't talk with you then you'are OK. If she does, then your mind goes in many directions). Or decide that she is a friend, and then anything she does means nothing to you but entertainment and fun times, even though what she sent sounds inappropriate to be sent to someone who is in his 60s, to be honest.

Wow, well I can certainly see why you're spinning, that is a strange move from her.

There could be a few different reasons behind it, how would you feel about asking her more about why she sent it?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by unaluna

This is why he isnt interested in women our age! Buddy, be careful you dont end up dead or robbed on a 48 hours murder show.

Well I don't think it's age thing. At age 25 I was still not sending cartoons of masturbating women to anyone. I have a daughter in 20s. And nephews and nieces and their friends. Yeah, no not the types to send inappropriate stuff to random people. The issue isn't really age here. Unless she sent it by mistake this girl is low class regardless of age.

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[Macd123]

Funny thing is I would feel like I was the aggressor if I asked her anymore about her intentions. I have confronted her on the issue and all she said was she found it interesting which is kind of a non-answer i.e. It's still a mystery. It's been several days since it happened and I'm probably just going to forget about it. I'm sure it will haunt me for a while because the motives are uncertain.