[Hedgeleaf]

A lot of you know my boyfriend has been really mean me recently for seeing my friends for a bday dinner and not including him in these plans. I asked him to come over today (my bday) and at the time he said he'd let me spend time with everyone else and celebrate 'properly' and he didn't want to just sit in my house

Anyway.... He's been sending me these text today, on my bday

'Have a good celebration with everyone else'

'I'll leave ur present outside tonight or In the week. Then I'll be out of your life which is what you've always wanted'

'Do u know how hurtful it is to try and plan someone's birthday and they have already made plans'

'How can u honestly say you love someone who Uve blown out for your birthday?'

Amongst others.

I asked him why he was texting me all of these things on my bday and he couldn't answer

I'm so so hurt.

I'm going to end the relationship with him

[eskielover]

Don't be hurt.....this is just showing his true colors guilt tripping you.

If he had truly wanted to celebrate your birthday with you he would have communicated it long before you made the plans with your friends. If he's that bad at communicating & they laying the guilt trip on you for making your plans when he never said anything in the first place...you are so much better without a jerk like him.

Just remember guys like that NEVER take responsibility for their own bad behavior or their lack of ability to communicate. I was married to a guy like that for 33 years. He never communicated about anything & when something went wrong because he hadn't communicated appropriately, he always blamed the world on being against him.....ugh, you don't want to go there.

I honestly wouldn't waste my hurt emotion on the likes of a guy like that. Ending the relationship is the best....but no matter what you tell him, he will never believe it's his fault so don't expect to get that kind of satisfaction in the breakup.

If he really cared he would have realized within himself that he needed to say something earlier & logged it in his own mind for the next celebration & not laid the blame & the guilt trip on you.

That is just tacky & truly uncaring & would fall under the category of emotional abuse & when it comes out in little ways like this, there is more & worse to come. Obviously he's not the kind of person who apologizes & admits he's wrong....NOT a good characteristic to tie oneself to.

Wise move to dump him.....Is that what's called self-fulfilling prophecy.....he asked for that treatment & if he's treated other women that way it would be no wonder they treated him that way also.

[Serzen]

Happy birthday...

I hope that you will be fine whataver resolution you make.

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Don't be hurt.....this is just showing his true colors guilt tripping you.

If he had truly wanted to celebrate your birthday with you he would have communicated it long before you made the plans with your friends. If he's that bad at communicating & they laying the guilt trip on you for making your plans when he never said anything in the first place...you are so much better without a jerk like him.

Just remember guys like that NEVER take responsibility for their own bad behavior or their lack of ability to communicate. I was married to a guy like that for 33 years. He never communicated about anything & when something went wrong because he hadn't communicated appropriately, he always blamed the world on being against him.....ugh, you don't want to go there.

I honestly wouldn't waste my hurt emotion on the likes of a guy like that. Ending the relationship is the best....but no matter what you tell him, he will never believe it's his fault so don't expect to get that kind of satisfaction in the breakup.

If he really cared he would have realized within himself that he needed to say something earlier & logged it in his own mind for the next celebration & not laid the blame & the guilt trip on you.

That is just tacky & truly uncaring & would fall under the category of emotional abuse & when it comes out in little ways like this, there is more & worse to come. Obviously he's not the kind of person who apologizes & admits he's wrong....NOT a good characteristic to tie oneself to.

Wise move to dump him.....Is that what's called self-fulfilling prophecy.....he asked for that treatment & if he's treated other women that way it would be no wonder they treated him that way also.

Thank you very much for the reply

I guess I just thought he'd end up seeing he bigger picture and apologise as we could move on instead he's saying that I need to take responsibility for my actions

He totally lacks empathy which I've said a lot and never apologies. I wonder why I ever stayed with him for so long

That is more passive aggressive nonsense than I would ever have the patience for....

Just say "okay" to whatever he tells you.

Happy birthday to you...

[(JD)]

Happy Birthday! What a great day to begin a new "page" dump the chump! Celebrate. Be glad you learned what a chump he is now before he married you!

[Trippin2.0]

Happy birthday HL!


Thank him for the lovely birthday gift (exposing his true colors) and carry on enjoying your special day as planned.



Nobody outright excluded him, that was his doing and he's trying to make you feel bad for his decisions.


Don't fall for such cheap tricks.


Best to get rid of this man child as soon as possible, think of it as an extra birthday prezzie to yourself, from yourself.

[Hedgeleaf]

Thank you all so much for you support

I've blocked him from my phone as he was just getting nastier and starting to call me names

Of all days he picks a fight on my bday

[Trippin2.0]

Just shows you he doesn't give a damn about you.


If he did, he would have swallowed his tantrum by now and try to salvage your birthday.


Instead he's trying harder and harder to ruin it completely.


Ugh, I hope the rest of your day is free of him.

[healingme4me]

Happy Birthday! Cheers to a new chapter in your life. That was awful of him to make today about himself.

[Bill3]

Happy birthday Hedgeleaf!



His actions have made the day painful for you, and I am sorry for that. I do agree with everyone else, though, that you are fortunate to see these juvenile, unloving, and aggressive attitudes and behaviours now.

I'm so so hurt.

I'm going to end the relationship with him

You have the chance to get away from him before getting yourself and your daughter greatly entangled.

[BeaFlower]

Happy birthday
I'm sorry he is so mean I understand that you want to end the relationship. Try to enjoy your day however. Don't answer him anymore today, if you don't want. Stay with your friends. And if you get ride of a boyfriend that isn't the right one, it's a good thing for you

[Hedgeleaf]

I'm worried I'll end up unblocking him

[Bill3]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this on your birthday. Keep those offensive texts and look at them and his other, similar communications when tempted to unblock him.

(((((Hedgeleaf)))))

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I'm sorry you have to deal with this on your birthday. Keep those offensive texts and look at them and his other, similar communications when tempted to unblock him.

(((((Hedgeleaf)))))

I just wonder why he can't see how he has treated me. I think that's the main thing I'm finding tough

[Bill3]

I just wonder why he can't see how he has treated me. I think that's the main thing I'm finding tough

How does this make it tough for you?

[Hedgeleaf]

Originally Posted by Bill3

How does this make it tough for you?

He doesn't seem to understand how he's upset me so much.

I get so frustrated at being ignored by him emotionally

To me, it seems that he thinks he's done nothing wrong so doesn't care how he makes me feel with his words or actions.

No one has choked from swallowing their pride

[Bill3]

He doesn't seem to understand how he's upset me so much.

I get so frustrated at being ignored by him emotionally

To me, it seems that he thinks he's done nothing wrong so doesn't care how he makes me feel with his words or actions.

No one has choked from swallowing their pride

These all do make things tough for you. All seem to argue in favour of keeping him blocked.

[divine1966]

Wow. What's his deal? So passive aggressive. My t says not to waste time figuring out why people do what they do. He is unhealthy. That's all what matters, he acts childish and mean.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Chyialee]

Aw Hedgeleaf. Grrrrrr at this jerk!

And echoing everything everyone above has said: He is being childish, manipulative, and emotionally abusive, passive-aggressive and on a srs power-trip. YOUR birthday, remember darlin'? Well, guess who made it all about HIMM? You gonna let him do that ot the whole year?

Naaaaah.

Happy day, Here's to you!

xo,
Chyia \~/ \~/

*clink*

[eskielover]

I guess I just thought he'd end up seeing he bigger picture and apologise as we could move on instead he's saying that I need to take responsibility for my actions

He totally lacks empathy which I've said a lot and never apologies. I wonder why I ever stayed with him for so long

Hope you have kept him blocked.

Many guys have pride that they should choke on but NEVER do because of their arrogance.

LOL....wondered why you stayed with him so long....that was exactly what I said after wasting 33 years in a bad marriage.....so glad you didn't get to the point of marriage where we try to make the commitment work.

So often it's hard to let go hoping that they really will come around & see the REAL picture. That's because we can't let go of our hopes for what we WISH the relationship COULD BE if they weren't so totally dysfunctional. Just like we want them to see the reality......we also need to see that REALITY that they JUST aren't the person we were hoping they would be.

[Hedgeleaf]

He emailed me.

Saying he cant believe I've blocked him and that I must have meant nothing to him and how much I've hurt him this week.

Then he asked if I was interested in anyone else

I haven't replied

[Artchic528]

Still up to his old tricks, isn't he? It's for the best that you didn't reply and thus, didn't feed into his emotional blackmail.

[Chyialee]

What a passive-agressive whiner numb-butt.

Honestly, smh. He's waiting for you to crumble.

Please don't let him (or anyone) define your self-worth, health, & awareness. People like him made me a recluse. Grrr

Tc. Best always,

Chyia, still smh

[Trippin2.0]

Wow, clearly he has learned absolutely nothing, which stands to reason that he... wont... ever.


He's got it all back to front...


Clearly you mean nothing to him if he can't take his head out of his backside for 5 minutes and not make everything about him!


You've made the right decision, keep it that way.


You deserve SO much better.