[CognitoSchiz1989]

I have noticed lately that I have no want to have sex (yes, I have a boyfriend). I will have sex because, yes, it feels good, and I love my boyfriend. However, I find the act very messy and disgusting. Before you ask, yes I am attracted to my boyfriend; very much so. I use to have sex all the time when I was doing drugs. Also, while I was doing drugs my mental illness was under control. Why am I so disgusted with the act of sex? Anybody else feel this way? Also, I am 26 if that helps anything?

[healingme4me]

Have you been working with a therapist in regards to the underlying reasons behind your previous drug use? Perhaps the feeling of messiness is a metaphor to other emotions/memories? I don't have any answers, tossed those questions as they came to mind thinking about your post..

[RomanSunburn]

I was just saying the other day... Sex is NOT sexy.

Sex is pretty disgusting.

[Pretzelle]

I feel the same way, but it might have to do with my demisexuality. It's not that I don't like sex when I have it...I just don't consider myself a sexual person. I honestly rather be doing other things. And yes, sex is pretty gross.

[emijec]

a subconscious negative association between drugs and sex?

[Ocean Swimmer]

Lots of psych Meds change a person's natural desire for sex.
I suffer bipolar and think Effexor puts the brakes on wanting sex.

[arbbarb]

I had a very serious take it or leave it (preferably leave it) attitude toward sex during my 20's. Even when a partner made me feel sensual or sexy, I never outwardly wanted sex. For the longest time and even today I don't initiate, which has been a point of contention in my current relationship.

Well, I have not felt sensual or sexy for maybe six years and I long for that as well as (to my surprise) sex. I have voiced these issues periodically with my partner since I recognized them. I can't seem to get over it on my end, and beyond sharing with him how I feel, I don't have any suggestions to give him either. Plus he gets defensive and accuses me of not being attracted to him anymore, and I don't know what to say. I find him handsome and I always have. Despite that, I feel really uncomfortable when he initiates and then I end up feeling empty or used afterward. Only recently did I recognize that my attitude of sexual neutrality is probably rooted in "feeling used," and definitely preceded this relationship.

I agree with emijec that you might be repulsed by sex right now because you are associating it with drug use. In a similar way, I associated much of my sexual experience with sacrifice. I misinterpreted my disinterest as not having a need for sex. I guess all I can suggest is paying attention to your feelings without being judgmental. It's not easy and took me ten years to recognize a potential problem because I kept opting for avoidance. In the end your feeling may just be a result of a medication you're on or really any number of other things you haven't considered, but an open mind and a curious awareness should help you figure out what you want and how to get there.

Take care, CognitoSchiz1989!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by emijec

a subconscious negative association between drugs and sex?

No. Not what I wrote

[healingme4me]

How is your relationship since sobriety has become part of your life? Not just sex , the rest of it?

[CognitoSchiz1989]

Well I met him well into my sobriety. He is very sweet to me and I love him to death. Gosh I don't really know what to say about it but it is a perfect relationship. He is my everything. I just wish I could enjoy sex with him. Everything you said healingme4me rings a bell with me. I will definitely look into it.