[Alishaannalorasa]

I dont know what to do . My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and are relationship is on the rocks . Were debating on letting it go or trying again . Im torn between the two . Are biggest problem is that I cant trust him . And here are the reasons why . When we first got to together it was only two months in . I found nude pictures of some girl spreading her legs and other pictures of her and she looked nasty and dirty and much older then us . When I found them he said they were his uncle that his uncle used his phone I believed him six months later I found out that they were his not his uncles . Another event he was suppose to pick me up for holiday dinner instead he was driving around with the mother of his child . Never called me to tell me and never answred my calls . And when they were answered all I could hear was music blaring and them talking . I had to walk home and wait two hours for him to show up and he did then.I found out from his bm he called her bae in the car the same night when we had dinner and were laying down she was calling him at late hours and I come to.find out they were having sexual relations a month before we met . Another event he wanted us to stay off social media and I did but he didnt I kept catching him look up this same girl over the months . Come to find out it's an ex . And same girl in the beginning of are relationship he tried to get working at his job with him . And another thing is when were go in public its so embarrasing and I never like going with him smh he makes me want to cry the things he does . One time we went to the mall . And we keot walking by the perfume store and a bunch of beautiful girls work there , everytime we walked by he had to look . I went into a store with him and he told me to stay there so he could go somewhere I said no stay with me so we went to nothing store and caught him trying to run out the store I asked him and he said he wanted to go to perfune store to get me perfume I knew thats where he wanted to go and we went and he never got me perfume I smapped and ask what was the real reason he told me cause he knew someone girl in there and seen she just got braces . He was trying to get rid of me so he can go talk to some girl smh . That same time at mall I was trying on shoes and hes looking at some blonde girl bend over and asked me would I **** her . Fire ran thru me . Everywhere we go hes always checking out girls nit even trying to hide it and doing disrespectful stuff . This guy im in love with does this stuff all the time I cant him in lies all the time and I dont know what to do he said he will change but all this stuff and more makes me not trust him plus he works an hour away as a landlord at an apartment home and all the girls are hoes and strippers he tells me and makes me stress when hes there necause I feel like hell cheat when we fight he tells me.he has cheated and that had oppurnity all the time too . But at the same timw hes so good to me does whatever he can helps me out so much with my daughter and always there for me I have never caught him cheating but ive caught him doing shady stuff . I dont know what to do ...... I dont want to waste no more time he said hell change and that hes trying to be the man I want but he said im ruining us because I can trust him and keep being up the past .

[Skeezyks]

Hello Alishaannalorasa: Welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I've written this numerous times before, here on PC, with regard to posts similar to yours. I used to know a guy who was fond of saying: "If you want to know where the bullet's going, look down the barrel of the gun." If you re-read what you've written here, you'll see what your future holds for you if you stay with this boyfriend.

Maintaining a long-term relationship is tough under the best of circumstances. Trying to do so with someone such as the gentleman you describe will be a Herculean task. I know you wrote that he is good to you & tries to help you out. No one is all good or all bad. We're all complex mixtures of both. So the question becomes, are the good things he brings to your relationship enough to overcome his lying, cheating & girl-chasing? Only you know the answer to that question. I wish you well...

[Trippin2.0]

Yes, what the Skeezyks said!


Love alone is not enough, you can love him till the cows come home, it doesn't mean the relationship will or should work.


Just because he's a generally good person and helps you out doesn't make him good bf material, you need to learn how to separate the two.


Simply put, there is no relationship without trust.


Staying with him will mean committing to looking over your shoulder all the time, checking his phone, social media, emails... Is that really the future you want?


More importantly, what kind of role model will he be to your daughter?

How are you going to explain his wandering eye to her? Since he's so very obvious about it...


Would you be ok with your daughter growing up believing this is the proper representation of a good man, and she should strive to date and marry one just like him?


Obviously just thinking points, I'm not asking you to answer those very personal questions.


If it was me? I'd walk away, I could never live my life feeling like I'm always competing with every girl that walks by.


A good partner will make you feel special, not like you're easily replaceable by random girls in a store.


Read your post and pretend your daughter wrote it, then take the advice you would give her.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Alishaannalorasa

I dont know what to do . My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and are relationship is on the rocks . Were debating on letting it go or trying again . Im torn between the two . Are biggest problem is that I cant trust him . And here are the reasons why . When we first got to together it was only two months in . I found nude pictures of some girl spreading her legs and other pictures of her and she looked nasty and dirty and much older then us . When I found them he said they were his uncle that his uncle used his phone I believed him six months later I found out that they were his not his uncles . Another event he was suppose to pick me up for holiday dinner instead he was driving around with the mother of his child . Never called me to tell me and never answred my calls . And when they were answered all I could hear was music blaring and them talking . I had to walk home and wait two hours for him to show up and he did then.I found out from his bm he called her bae in the car the same night when we had dinner and were laying down she was calling him at late hours and I come to.find out they were having sexual relations a month before we met . Another event he wanted us to stay off social media and I did but he didnt I kept catching him look up this same girl over the months . Come to find out it's an ex . And same girl in the beginning of are relationship he tried to get working at his job with him . And another thing is when were go in public its so embarrasing and I never like going with him smh he makes me want to cry the things he does . One time we went to the mall . And we keot walking by the perfume store and a bunch of beautiful girls work there , everytime we walked by he had to look . I went into a store with him and he told me to stay there so he could go somewhere I said no stay with me so we went to nothing store and caught him trying to run out the store I asked him and he said he wanted to go to perfune store to get me perfume I knew thats where he wanted to go and we went and he never got me perfume I smapped and ask what was the real reason he told me cause he knew someone girl in there and seen she just got braces . He was trying to get rid of me so he can go talk to some girl smh . That same time at mall I was trying on shoes and hes looking at some blonde girl bend over and asked me would I **** her . Fire ran thru me . Everywhere we go hes always checking out girls nit even trying to hide it and doing disrespectful stuff . This guy im in love with does this stuff all the time I cant him in lies all the time and I dont know what to do he said he will change but all this stuff and more makes me not trust him plus he works an hour away as a landlord at an apartment home and all the girls are hoes and strippers he tells me and makes me stress when hes there necause I feel like hell cheat when we fight he tells me.he has cheated and that had oppurnity all the time too . But at the same timw hes so good to me does whatever he can helps me out so much with my daughter and always there for me I have never caught him cheating but ive caught him doing shady stuff . I dont know what to do ...... I dont want to waste no more time he said hell change and that hes trying to be the man I want but he said im ruining us because I can trust him and keep being up the past .

I read to the point where he stood you up to be with the mother of his child... I skimmed from that point and where you said "he's so good to me" Umm does not being good to you include respecting you and being faithful? Seems to me you're making excuses in your mind for a guy that has proven time and again he is not to be trusted.

Move on.

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by Alishaannalorasa

I dont know what to do . My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now and are relationship is on the rocks . Were debating on letting it go or trying again . Im torn between the two . Are biggest problem is that I cant trust him . And here are the reasons why . When we first got to together it was only two months in . I found nude pictures of some girl spreading her legs and other pictures of her and she looked nasty and dirty and much older then us . When I found them he said they were his uncle that his uncle used his phone I believed him six months later I found out that they were his not his uncles . Another event he was suppose to pick me up for holiday dinner instead he was driving around with the mother of his child . Never called me to tell me and never answred my calls . And when they were answered all I could hear was music blaring and them talking . I had to walk home and wait two hours for him to show up and he did then.I found out from his bm he called her bae in the car the same night when we had dinner and were laying down she was calling him at late hours and I come to.find out they were having sexual relations a month before we met . Another event he wanted us to stay off social media and I did but he didnt I kept catching him look up this same girl over the months . Come to find out it's an ex . And same girl in the beginning of are relationship he tried to get working at his job with him . And another thing is when were go in public its so embarrasing and I never like going with him smh he makes me want to cry the things he does . One time we went to the mall . And we keot walking by the perfume store and a bunch of beautiful girls work there , everytime we walked by he had to look . I went into a store with him and he told me to stay there so he could go somewhere I said no stay with me so we went to nothing store and caught him trying to run out the store I asked him and he said he wanted to go to perfune store to get me perfume I knew thats where he wanted to go and we went and he never got me perfume I smapped and ask what was the real reason he told me cause he knew someone girl in there and seen she just got braces . He was trying to get rid of me so he can go talk to some girl smh . That same time at mall I was trying on shoes and hes looking at some blonde girl bend over and asked me would I **** her . Fire ran thru me . Everywhere we go hes always checking out girls nit even trying to hide it and doing disrespectful stuff . This guy im in love with does this stuff all the time I cant him in lies all the time and I dont know what to do he said he will change but all this stuff and more makes me not trust him plus he works an hour away as a landlord at an apartment home and all the girls are hoes and strippers he tells me and makes me stress when hes there necause I feel like hell cheat when we fight he tells me.he has cheated and that had oppurnity all the time too . But at the same timw hes so good to me does whatever he can helps me out so much with my daughter and always there for me I have never caught him cheating but ive caught him doing shady stuff . I dont know what to do ...... I dont want to waste no more time he said hell change and that hes trying to be the man I want but he said im ruining us because I can trust him and keep being up the past .

I'm sorry I would not be able to give this guy any chances..he is not mature enough to be in a relationship and he is making YOU feel like you are CRAZY. You sound like you feel CRAZY...A relationship is supposed to make you feel HAPPY.

And 1 year is usually the time you figure out...whether it works or not...sounds like it doesn't work for you two.

There will be better situations in your future...but you have to let this one go.

[divine1966]

Don't even know way to say. He is beyond awful as a BF. Run and run fast

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bill3]

Were debating on letting it go or trying again . Im torn between the two .

Let it go.

[seeker1950]

What all the other people here have said...Let it go. You can walk away! You CAN, and you don't even owe him that much of an explanation. You are a caring person, and you think you've invested this much time with him, and want to make an impossible situation work out. All his behaviors are worse than anyone should put up with. You seriously need to just let it go, walk away, and get on with your life.

Speaking from experience, when you end a relationship like this, you may very well have a period of withdrawal, where you want to contact him, or wait for his calls. Be strong, and eventually, you will be so GLAD you did!