[Yismymindblank12]

I found out I have definitely alexithymia and I want to know.

[Artchic528]

Wow. I just googled this as I didn't know what alexithymia was, and I feel I might have that as well. I've had this inability to identify what exactly I feel when I get worked up over knowing or hearing other people talk of having sex. I also come across as unempathic towards others, mostly because I find it hard to know what emotions they are feeling and showing. I also have a hard time knowing if someone is joking/teasing me or if they are being serious.

I've been suggested that I had some sort of BPD going on, but that never really fit, my therapist even said that I didn't have it. This condition seems much more fitting.

[divine1966]

Were you diagnosed with anything else that goes in conjunction with it? You previously shared some other diagnosis, is this in combination with what you already have?
What does your doc or t say about this?

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[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Were you diagnosed with anything else that goes in conjunction with it? You previously shared some other diagnosis, is this in combination with what you already have?
What does your doc or t say about this?

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Definitely could be related to PTSD, my love for using pot as a means of escaping emotions period, possibly brain damage too. A lot of people including my family have the hardest time even to talk to me without flipping out because I appear I don't give a ****.

A lot of times I don't, but most of the time when I listen to anyone I just zone out and forget what they are saying or trying to say with how they on the inside so I come off as indifferent to them a lot.

[Yismymindblank12]

I also especially feel this, when I'm happy or content or sad or intense feelings and especially grey areas following after intense feelings which can trigger them again. I'm always in a state of anxiety, because I don't know my footing where I'm at.

Like I don't know some days if my parents are real or they just to me good night because they love me or they want to kill me later. Like mine goes really out there and deep end.

My brain cannot process events and interactions with any accuracy.

I confuse kindness for flirtation and anger or being upset with someone who isn't upset with me at all.

I confuse the other person, by trying to explain something and their completely lost because they don't get my point or my thoughts ever.

Everyone treats me like I'm either really stupid or smart, I never had a person really take consideration of the full spectrum as of now.

I blow a lot of people off and write them off as bad people when I shouldn't, because I really don't know someone. I think relationships from an abstract logic basis, not a grounded emotional one that's based on give and receive and benefit on the quality of emotional stasis we both may feel.

I sometimes use people for either to more access of weed or for affection or sex or their emotional support when I had more than enough, but don't know where the line is drawn. I don't realize how negative I can affect others most of the time I'm not aware I'm doing this till after the fact.

I really forget things that are emotionally important for others, because sometimes I thought I was really slow or stupid, but can't emotionally see significance on their feelings, because I always come up a reason why they can't try harder or something. I don't see their effort emotionally for what it is. I can't really see the empathy when it's there.

The world isn't colorful it feels black and white and grey. Not much else.

It's a cold feeling constantly, like everyone is on a separating iceberg floating and drifting farther like everyone you interact with no matter how much effort they put to you.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Wow. I just googled this as I didn't know what alexithymia was, and I feel I might have that as well. I've had this inability to identify what exactly I feel when I get worked up over knowing or hearing other people talk of having sex. I also come across as unempathic towards others, mostly because I find it hard to know what emotions they are feeling and showing. I also have a hard time knowing if someone is joking/teasing me or if they are being serious.

I've been suggested that I had some sort of BPD going on, but that never really fit, my therapist even said that I didn't have it. This condition seems much more fitting.

I experience this as well a lot too.

I just want someone to love me even with this, but at the same time don't know how to. Such a funny predicament.

I think when I was abused for many many years. I used it as a means to cope and survive when my life was endangered as a child to rationalize why people are bad or evil etc.

I confused it with anyone's intentions. So even on here. I feel ill will of others, I know a good example I pissed off someone on this forum and didn't mean to upset her. I was just desperate and not thinking with my heart, but my aching brain that was not knowing how to see or understand what my heart needed or wanted.

I can tell you Love is hell for me. It feels like a curse or a burden than a release a freeflowing energy new potential love I crush a lot from within to feel safe.

I like the control that's the only part I have control over when it's intense, but mostly all the time I fall victim to my own lack of judgment on their behavior or feelings towards me leaving very uncomfortable and awkward situations later on.

I will never know if someone wants to date me, hook up with me, be my friend, or have sex, whatever intention. I never know till afterwards. I never figured it out and realized their is something seriously wrong with me.

[divine1966]

You do need to talk to a professional to sort this out. Not to sound blunt but often times your post appear very incoherent. Yet other times they are pretty clear.

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[Lost_in_the_woods]

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You do need to talk to a professional to sort this out. Not to sound blunt but often times your post appear very incoherent. Yet other times they are pretty clear.

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see this response alone proves what I'm trying to say and I would like to if the world was perfect and I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for a copay for a therapist where I live.

Most don't intentionally take insurance so you're left owing a therapist who may or may not help you but you're out of 250 or more dollars. That you could of used more effectively.

[divine1966]

What insurance is it that therapists don't take it? You can also talk to a psychiatrist. Do you have one? You previously mentioned diagnosis that would warrant you see a doctor for medication.

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[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by divine1966

What insurance is it that therapists don't take it? You can also talk to a psychiatrist. Do you have one? You previously mentioned diagnosis that would warrant you see a doctor for medication.

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I may get lucky and score a psychatrist neurologist specialist. That may help alot.