[Yismymindblank12]

I shared sometimg about, you're so deep into being independent not in any relationship no amount of love from anyone is going to move you easy.

That's where I've always been, I get really I'll physically when I feel someone is into me. Like I want them to be real and stay, but I accept not to lose myself and assume they will leave and not say anything to them about it ever until they do.

The truth is people are so quick to jump to something they feel is better so you always sit here wondering when will I be the one person people want to be around.

Like I just wounder around now and just live. It feels very cold and like my life was taken as if I did something wrong. But alas I have to realise many people relate to me but I guess it's ok to talk to people but I needed more than this. I can survive alone, but I'm so far gone being alone I can't stand it.

Metaphorically and literally I have in the past been super unhealthy skinny because I felt so starved from love or any kind of affectionit manifests physically to my overall health.

[divine1966]

If you want love and affection you probably have to stop telling people you don't want closeness and relationship. They will not stay if you don't want them close to you. If when people like you makes you physically sick then why do you want people close? You contradict yourself

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[yunomi]

I can relate to that. I dont feel like interact to people yet deep inside there's a little hope of closeness. But there's also a doubt "do i need it anyway?". My life is a stuggle of The need of acceptance, fear of rejection and a desire to not care at all lol.

[Yismymindblank12]

Originally Posted by yunomi

I can relate to that. I dont feel like interact to people yet deep inside there's a little hope of closeness. But there's also a doubt "do i need it anyway?". My life is a stuggle of The need of acceptance, fear of rejection and a desire to not care at all lol.

I think related to the first response. Yes I want acceptance and love and I do contradict myself it's how you just described it.

I do need to fight my fears, I am slowly by talking to people I may find something more than the average date starting slow obviously but learning someone new. I want them to learn me to accept me. So yes I am easily capable of it, it's just hard to let this itching that I feel they will hurt me it's a struggle constantly to stay with someone not knowing if one minute they will change on you and stop loving you or treat you well being with disrespect because they stop wanting to like you. I think.