It's been a challenging day for me

It's been a challenging day for me.

Today is the day where my (ex) husband used to run an Ultra Marathon that's held annually - 90km (nearly 60 miles).

I haven't stopped thinking about him, almost all day.

It's a mixture of anger over his mistress, the fact that he left, the fact that I'm still adjusting to the fact that he's gone.

I know he wants an amicable relationship because of the kids.

But I'm hurt and I'm angry.

I haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks (I had him blocked on my mobile).

I caved in and sent him a text saying: "It's been a challenging day for me today because of the Comrades".

He text me back with a "?"

I replied and said "Never mind".

Didn't want to tell him how much I miss him ....

Didn't want to tell him how much I miss him .... Probably wise. I hope you feel better today.

Anger, hurt, and you are likely grieving over the end of the relationship. Those are a lot of emotions to sort out.

I didn't ... thankfully ... but I didn't have him unblocked for longer than 30 minutes when we got into a full blown argument - which is exactly why I blocked him in the first place.

I hate the fact that I'm grieving. Wish it wasn't this hard. When he's been such a asshole getting a mistress I wish I could just forget about him.

You are not likely grieving about him as much as the loss of your hopes and future expectations of the relationship. The future you envisioned could be what are really feeling the loss of.

How have your kids been doing since he left?

I used to fight with my exhusband first year after divorce. It eventually stopped and we co parented well but first year was not good. But he didn't leave me, let alone for another woman, yet it was tough. I don't know how id feel if he did. Would be probably worse....

Give it time to heal and be kind to yourself. I understand how you feel

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I'm trying to be careful to not call this jealousy. In my case it wasn't this so much as resentment mine did not do the things with me he does with the mistress. I couldn't help but think it meant there was never any love for me. I have done my best to remain cordial but I really feel kicked in the teeth repeatedly.

They've been doing remarkably well and seem to have adjusted a lot better than I have thanks

I'll admit I felt a massive pang of jealousy run through my veins when I saw a photo of them together on fb