Desiring social connection but unemployed

I feel lonely, again, and I want to try dating and making new friends, but I dread the most common question, "so what do you do?"

I don't work. I was fired from my last job and had an ugly falling out with my boss that made matters even worse. That blew back my confidence and desire to get a new job a TON. I'm living with my mom and sister, and none of us work, but we live off a good amount of inheritance money from our grandparents who both passed on recently. Of course, it won't last, and my mom and I are trying to get our own businesses started so that we can create our own incomes and not depend on bosses and fixed hourly wages. I figure this privileged window of time is the perfect time to take a chance. The only problem is, I'm passionate about multiple things: art, music, cooking, gardening, and have a hard time nailing down a business or way to make money that will work for me.

If you're judging me harshly for what I just wrote above, then that's EXACTLY why I feel like I can't meet anybody new, because they'll hate me as soon as I am forced to admit that I'm unemployed and not making any money. I can phrase it in a way that sounds positive and nice, but they'll see right through it.

I don't know if ANY guy on earth would want to date me at this point in my life. It sucks that you can't find unconditional love, but I really doubt a guy would be attracted to me if I don't have a "real job", don't work for a living, and I fear putting myself out there and getting rejected on this basis. I've ALREADY been rejected multiple times, from various people, including "friends", bosses, men, etc, and it has been DEVASTATING to my self worth every single time. I can't take the pain of it.

I used to be insecure about my looks, but I'm over that now. I'm insecure about my unattractive life situation now.

Should I, once again, push down my deep feelings of loneliness and focus ONLY on getting some income going before I ever venture out of the house again, and meet new people? It was painful just answering the hair stylist's question about what I do for a living. Maybe it was just in my head, but I could tell she was judging me. She works. She has to work. I don't.

I don't judge. You are undecided at this point in your life.

Well can you say "I am looking for a job?" Or since it's not really true and you don't want to lie, can you say you are trying to open new business? If you truly trying to open a business then that wouldn't be a lie.

Have you considered maybe going to school? Even if let's say you truly want to go into business, you might want to take some business classes? Then you can tell people you are in school for career change and it wouldn't be a lie

I know nothing about business as I have no business side to me lol as about areas you mention, i am an artist ( this is not my day job) I exhibit in art shows and occasionally sell but I know that in order to make real money i have to do things like marketing and bunch of paperwork and taxes and advertise etc etc that is something I dislike doing, plus I love my day job. My aunt owned successful business for years but she had no life until she sold it. Running business is a tough thing but if that's where your passion lies then go for it.

As about meeting friends, I've met tons of friends ( other women) through meetup. We do discuss our jobs because it's just people do but having a job isn't required. Try it. As about dating I don't know honestly. I wouldn't date people who don't work or go to school but I might be in minority on this.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Unfortunately society judges people, primarily on 2 things; looks and perceived economic worth (job,wealth, etc) . Both of these are erroneous assumptions. The ugliest person on the dating site could be your soulmate and that down and out could be a maths genius.
To the question 'what do you do' say 'i'm lucky enough to have money and I'm taking time out to develop my own business. I'm passionate about art and cookery and gardening, so they keep me busy.'
Google' meetup.com' and join a few groups.

How are you doing now?

I can totally relate, I was a divorced stay at home mom for many years before I became a self employed painter. I had a lot of various advice on how to deal with that question. The most poignant moment for me was when I told the people at common sense media I was disabled and they rejected me for a survey. I could not bring myself to say I was a stay at home mom because I was so ashamed of being divorced with a mental health disability. I hear what you are saying about not wanting to date until you are employed. I do not know if you qualify for any anonymous programs. I have also heard that meet up is good. I also don't know if you belong to a church or not but that is another good place to meet people.

Not everyone judges. A lot do, but not everyone. I wouldn't judge you for not working...just an example. It's your life. Societal expectations....I say do what you want to regarding work (or not working).

Put yourself out there. You need to take some "risks" in the sense of being vulnerable to meet others. It's well worth it if you meet someone you like and it's mutual. And if someone judges, that's their issue, not yours.

I'm an attorney. Now I'm an attorney who has MI and is disabled. I can't work. I don't feel like I'm less of a person. I've been judged. That's their issue. I'm ok with me. Work on your self-esteem if you need to. Get a therapist to help there.

If I were in your shoes, I'd go to school. I just like to learn and I think education is fulfilling and it's an asset. But that's me.

Take care.

Beautiful post

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If OP is still reading these replies have you considered volunteering? I did this myself for years when I was not in paid employment, and loved it so much I still do now I'm in paid work.

It certainly gives an answer you can be proud of to the question "What do you do?"