 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jun 25, 2016, 01:19 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
hi
My girlfriend is having this issue and I wanna know how long does it take? for how long should I wait? FYI, it's been 6 weeks now that I'm waiting. |
|
#2
Jun 25, 2016, 07:52 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It takes two willing participants to solve an issue. What part are you doing?
|
|
#3
Jun 25, 2016, 08:12 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It depends what the issue is? Typically stonewalling or silence treatments are abusive in nature but it also depends on what happened
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 Juveman
|
|
#4
Jun 25, 2016, 02:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Care to give a bit more information.. Its hard to offer advice from your OP
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#5
Jun 25, 2016, 08:16 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
6 weeks sounds like an awfully long time to not address a relationship issue?
|
|
#6
Jun 25, 2016, 09:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Passive-aggressive behavior is emotional abuse. What's happening that led up to her stonewalling?
|
|
#7
Jun 25, 2016, 10:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I wonder what bought on the stonewalling. This is just a question since there's no way of knowing otherwise. Did you do anything to stop the stonewalling? Not saying you didn't since I can' tell. Just know a relationship is between at least two people so in this case and I wonder what are you doing to stop the stonewalling. There something you can do?
|
|
#8
Jun 25, 2016, 10:33 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
From my own experience, my ex stonewalled me until he was ready to talk. There was nothing I could do to open up communication, I tried. I didn't fully grasp how hurtful that behavior is towards one's partner until we were divorced.
OP, I hope she stops stonewalling you. Does she do that to be hurtful? That was my experience. Stonewallers often use control tactics and behave in ways to create emotional pain. I hope it gets better. Tell us what the situation is when you can. We are here to support you. Take care. |
 Bill3, Juveman
|
| Juveman
|
|
#9
Jun 26, 2016, 10:57 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Do you want a relationship with someone whose solution to a problem that comes up is to not talk to you for 6+ weeks, to then return and continue as if nothing happened?
And if that person doesn't return, that person ended the relationship 6 weeks ago. |
|
#10
Jun 30, 2016, 11:03 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#11
Jun 30, 2016, 11:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#12
Jun 30, 2016, 11:17 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#13
Jun 30, 2016, 11:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#14
Jun 30, 2016, 11:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
but you see, I'm willing to help her with everything I've got, there has to be a solution. I didn't stop the time I had no idea there was such an issue called stonewalling, now that I do, why stop? and if she returns, God willing, we won't continue as if nothing happened we're gonna talk about it. The thing is she knew she was about to get in this mood that's why she warned me. FYI, we're not living together, she's studying in another city. |
|
#15
Jun 30, 2016, 11:33 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#16
Jun 30, 2016, 11:54 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
This is basically hell on Earth. (before meeting her)I was not committing-kinda-guy but I also wasn't a jerk playing with people. Now I'm so committed that I haven't lied to her even once, when I walk down the street or go to work I don't even glance at smoking hot girls in a way that seems me and my girlfriend are walking together even now that she doesn't talk to me. know this that I don't live In the US and people here don't wait for their girl/boy friends for 7 weeks, they'd be like: screw her/him, Imma find someone else. UNLESS they're truly in love which is very rare. She might be the one, and I don't wanna lose my biggest shot at a lifetime happiness at the first sign of trouble, Life has ups and downs as we all know. achieving Sth big like a trophy isn't easy and that hardness makes it more valuable doesn't it?
please wish me luck. waiting for your replies. Thanks a bunch. talking to you guys comforts me. |
|
#17
Jul 01, 2016, 01:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It doesn't matter if it is the US or not. If someone is gone for 7 weeks, they are just gone. I lived in Europe and US and loving partners aren't gone for 7 weeks. And if you respect yourself, you don't sit around waiting.
Listen I think from what you describe she stopped communicating and doesn't reply, she isn't stonewalling. As some other poster said she ended a relationship. She might not have the guts to say so, so her solution is just vanish. Trying to pursue her is pointless. There is no issue to resolve or problem to solve as the girl is gone. It's not that you had a fight and now she is mad and doesn't talk to you for few days. From the looks of it it's over. You deserve better. Time to move on and clearly she isn't the one or she would still be around. Good luck Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Juveman, lizardlady
|
|
#18
Jul 01, 2016, 05:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
How would you know if she is stonewalling as opposed to just having decided to end the relationship?
|
|
#19
Jul 01, 2016, 11:07 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
If I did that to someone it would because I had ended it and moved on. I would take it as a clear signal that you're never getting back together. It's easy to label it as passive aggressive, but that just introduces something into the equation that might not be real. After two months, to me, it's clear, she's not stonewalling, you are broken up. It's time to move on. Also, she might have found someone new.
|
| Juveman
|
|
#20
Jul 02, 2016, 12:27 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 your gf sounds bpd.
|
| Juveman
|
|
#21
Jul 02, 2016, 04:31 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#22
Jul 02, 2016, 06:51 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Not at all. Stonewalling is when a partner shuts down emotionally and isn't willing to discuss certain things or stops showing affection etc stonewalling doesn't mean stop dating your partner ( even long distance it's still dating via other means of communication if not face to face) etc Stop dating means breaking up, not stone walling. She hasn't been dating you for two months. She broke up with you Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| leomama, Trippin2.0
|
|
#23
Jul 02, 2016, 11:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
What you're going through is someone "ghosting" you by disappearing. Still not a great thing to do but it's not stonewalling or abusive. It's essentially a passive way of breaking up with someone, so if I were you id walk away. If she hasn't contacted you in 7 weeks she's most likely not going to at all. If she does, I would try to have more self respect and let her know you've moved on. People will treat you the way you allow them to, unfortunately. |
| Juveman, leomama, Trippin2.0
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
