Boyfriend Talks Bad About My Ex

My boyfriend frequently brings up my ex-husband and what a jerk he is. It's true, he is a jerk; however, I just want to move on from ex-husband and it's difficult when he is so often the topic of conversation.

Any idea why my boyfriend does this?

Any advice on how to tactfully handle the situation?

How about telling your boyfriend what you said here? That you'd like to move forward and would prefer not to talk about your ex.

Set boundaries.

Having a conversation with him at an appropriate time, probably not when he's bringing him up, could help.

Perhaps take him out for a cup of coffee and have a discussion with him about how you need to move on and continually referencing him and berating him isn't doing you any good.

Why does he do this?

Well I don't know. But he seems to need to keep reminding you of what a jerk your ex is, for whatever that reason may be. Perhaps he never wants you running back to him ... or (less likely) feels like he is "supporting" you.

Tell him enough on the ex bashing.

When he bashes on your ex try saying something like, "Fortunately, that's all in the past." It's a kind way of telling him it's irrelevant and need not be a frequent topic of discussion.

If you co-parent with your ex, the topic of your ex is regularly going to come up because you'll always have ties with him via your child(ren). If that is the case, be more patient with your boyfriend, but be upfront that it doesn't help you that he disparages your ex.

He might have low self-esteem. He might feel insecure in himself and/or in his relationship with you.