I feel like absolute crap right now

I don't think typically 1/2 of the assets is always a given in today's day and age, thank god for that... considering what I'm going to be doing not too far into the future. :/ depends on the state laws, and many factors related to the nature of the marriage, reason for the divorce, length, dependency of the spouse etc during the marriage.

I do believe in Hitch's case she may be entitled to a substantial portion. From what I know anyway.

That was what I was thinking too

I knew I'd gone past my limit and panicked so I walked out using the water as an excuse to leave.

Her advice to me was to look directly at my daughters T and communicate with her. That bit did help.

Yes. But he's got magical debt accounts flying out his *** so now according to his balance sheet if he were to settle his loans etc he could pull me into debt.

However he said he's not going to settle his debts before payout so I will get "some" money.

I think you're right sand and there are a few factors courts take into account like future earnings potential etc. it's not always a straight forward 50/50 split.

If you are not a signer on the accounts you may not be actually "responsible" for them. I would get that checked out - because if YOU cannot be held accountable for them he cannot subtract them from your marital asset total.

I'm glad you had some way of "calming" down at least a bit. Other things that may help in future are simply excusing yourself as you did and doing a bit of diaphragm breathing, perhaps imagining yourself in a more relaxing or better atmosphere even while there with them, counting backwards in your head from 100 til you feel yourself relax....those are a few "public" ways of relaxing without music and such that I can think of... another simple trick... bring a cloth you have dabbed with lavender essential oil and keep it with you when you get tense, bring it within smelling distance

If he makes three times more than you then he needs to pay for things. My fiancée's ex filed for divorce not him but he was made to pay for everything including her lawyer simply because he worked and she didn't ( for no reason as kids are grown). You really need to see a good lawyer, you have the kids and make much less than him

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes, they are marital finances and marital assets and marital debts. In my case, we had no debt except two mortgages, so my post leans towards "marital assets"rather than "marital debts." I don't know much about marital debts. Some debts incurred after I moved out of the marital home and while divorcing were considered individual debts even though we were married.

Marital assets are split down the middle. 50/50. Including investments like 401(k)s and IRAs. A personal inheritance say spouse's mom dies...not a marital asset. But pretty much everything else is half yours and if it can't be split, it can be sold and will be sold and half is yours. In some cases, inheritances may be converted into marital assets depending on the laws in your state.

That happened to me. I received stocks when my dad died and we sold them to buy property and a large down payment second residence. They became marital assets. My attorney said we might be able to argue those financial amounts were not marital assets, but I didn't pursue it. Too much time and legal fees so it just went in as a marital asset.

I acquiesced legally to some things I could probably have gotten but it was of more value to me to keep the divorce moving forward. My ex was trying to stall it and prolong it as a way to punish me. I did my best to keep it like business which is hard because it is so personal.

But you deserve 50/50. Check with your legal counsel of course. I refused to budge on my right to 50/50. My ex stupidly didn't want me to get what was plainly legally my share. That's why my divorce took so long. Stay strong and don't get bullied into a quick divorce if you aren't going to get what you are entitled to. And same advice for a prolonged divorce.

Debts racked up by one spouse during the divorce...say one buys an expensive watch and it goes on a credit card jointly owned. That should end up going on the debt side of the balance sheet of the spouse making the purchase - when the attorneys create the balance sheet for the judge. At least, that was how it went in my divorce. I went on a ski trip and put it on a credit card held by us. I let my attorney know so that was "charged" to me on my side during the divorce. My ex got several thousand dollars worth of dental work done during the divorce and put it on a credit card....that went on his side.

I made minimum monthly payments on credit cards during the divorce. I don't recommend stopping payment unless legally advised otherwise. I made reasonable ATM withdrawals from our joint bank accounts for daily cash. Similar to how I did during marriage and just for daily use and not walking around with no money. No large withdrawals or closing of accounts.

My credit is really good post-divorce. Excellent credit, just like before. A lot of people have credit problems post-divorce but I think there are ways to avoid this. We did have a lot of liquid assets so that may have made a difference. Neither of us wanted our credit rating to get bad, either, so that helped. Unfortunately we agreed on little else.

I hope that helps. Hang in there. Thinking of you.

My ex is already on girlfriend #3 post-divorce. I know you're hurting but chances are good he will realize the grass isn't greener on the other side down the road. And you may find yourself happier than you expected to be.

It's black and white 50/50 in my state. I can't see reasoning why the Legislature would change that because you can't be only a "partial spouse" in a marriage. It's a 50/50 partnership in a marriage and that includes if only one partner works or one makes a lot more money than the other. I do live in a "no fault" divorce state so the reason for the divorce is of no legal relevance whatsoever.

I think Hitch gets half but I know we are here to support, not debate.

I think there's the marriage and then there is the future. It's legally bifurcated in my experience. My personal experience was 50/50 split of marital assets and then awarded permanent alimony due to the length of my marriage and my disability.

And he wanted me to settle in out of court mediation lol