[Crazy Hitch]

Took my daughter to her first psychologist appointment today where she asked to see me and my (ex) husband together for the first consult together. There are a lot of issues with my daughter, but not the present point I'm making.

I had to bite my tongue the entire way through, and speak directly to the psychologist and ignore the demon himself sitting in the corner. I have not been confined in the same room with said demon since 19 February when he got up and left me for his mistress.

Exactly 45 minutes into it I snapped. I cracked. I had tried so hard to keep it together. I didn't say anything about my ex (as a father) whilst he was there yet he spent the entire time *****ing about how he's so strict and enforces rules blah blah blah.

What pushed me over the edge to walk out and say I'm getting a glass of water was when he said her phone needs to be taken away at night at my place like it is at his.

I did NOT know that occasional she's been woken up at a ridiculous hour because of beeping on her phone.

At which stage her therapist looked at me and said, "Can we agree you take her phone away" and I excused myself for water and walked out.

**** I hate him. Was he intentionally trying to make me look like the bad parent?!?!? Sure as hell felt like it.

Well I can't know for sure, but if I were the T I wouldn't be focusing so much on the phone itself rather more than her father chose to communicate this message in the way he did.

Good job in keeping it together and leaving the room when it got too much. It's not an easy situation.

[Crazy Hitch]

I've requested with her that any further meetings where either parent needs to be involved is done seperately. She agreed.

[divine1966]

Can you tell t how the marriage ended so she knows you don't want to sit there with him

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

I've requested with her that any further meetings where either parent needs to be involved is done seperately. She agreed.

Sounds like you handled it well and I think he was just trying to make you lose your cool in front of T and thus cause problems for you.

[Bill3]

(((((Crazy Hitch)))))

I think you handled it fine.

[Trippin2.0]

Don't beat yourself up CH, you handled that session brilliantly.


Your ex is an ay double ess tho

[~Christina]

I think you handled it all very well.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Can you tell t how the marriage ended so she knows you don't want to sit there with him

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes. My daughter left the room in the last 10 minutes and I said to the t in front of him there's no love lost between the two of us since he found a mistress. And he replied Yes, I will continue to see my girlfriend.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Sounds like you handled it well and I think he was just trying to make you lose your cool in front of T and thus cause problems for you.

Agreed. I had an absolute meltdown. On 14 July I'm in court with him because he wants to sell the house. I'm going to be a basketcase!

[eskielover]

You haven't even gotten the divorce yet......but that money will be split. Not sure why he's so quick to want to sell the house before the divorce settlement. I would think that the money would have to go into a fund that would in the end be divided by the judge when the divorce is final & he wouldn't get a cent of it now?

Do you have a lawyer on your side to help you through this?....if not, you seriously need to get one ASAP

[divine1966]

You need a lawyer and he cannot be selling anything before the divorce. Omg I can't wait for this to be over for you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by eskielover

You haven't even gotten the divorce yet......but that money will be split. Not sure why he's so quick to want to sell the house before the divorce settlement. I would think that the money would have to go into a fund that would in the end be divided by the judge when the divorce is final & he wouldn't get a cent of it now?

Do you have a lawyer on your side to help you through this?....if not, you seriously need to get one ASAP

I'm getting free legal advice from Community Centre Lawyers who are going through everything with me.

His dad, on the other hand, is paying his legal fees - his lawyer is on tv shows.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by divine1966

You need a lawyer and he cannot be selling anything before the divorce. Omg I can't wait for this to be over for you

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Me too! I don't even have money for movers let alone deposit for first months rent.

[divine1966]

He better be paying for stuff. Don't allow him to mistreat you. Make sure tell in court that you can't afford anything.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

All of this should be part of the divorce proceedings. How in the world is he getting away with this & isn't your own free legal counsel telling you this? Do they really understand what is going on?

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by eskielover

All of this should be part of the divorce proceedings. How in the world is he getting away with this & isn't your own free legal counsel telling you this? Do they really understand what is going on?

Yes, they do understand. Likely case will be transferred to mediation court. Problem is I need to pay another $420 to chase maintenance in the court (separate application to settlement of property - my response is costing $320). That's just to give the court paperwork. Doesn't include hearing fees ($850 on the day etc etc etc)

You should be getting half of the marital assets. And you do not have to settle at mediation. Don't get bullied into a quick settlement. xo

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Took my daughter to her first psychologist appointment today where she asked to see me and my (ex) husband together for the first consult together. There are a lot of issues with my daughter, but not the present point I'm making.

I had to bite my tongue the entire way through, and speak directly to the psychologist and ignore the demon himself sitting in the corner. I have not been confined in the same room with said demon since 19 February when he got up and left me for his mistress.

Exactly 45 minutes into it I snapped. I cracked. I had tried so hard to keep it together. I didn't say anything about my ex (as a father) whilst he was there yet he spent the entire time *****ing about how he's so strict and enforces rules blah blah blah.

What pushed me over the edge to walk out and say I'm getting a glass of water was when he said her phone needs to be taken away at night at my place like it is at his.

I did NOT know that occasional she's been woken up at a ridiculous hour because of beeping on her phone.

At which stage her therapist looked at me and said, "Can we agree you take her phone away" and I excused myself for water and walked out.

**** I hate him. Was he intentionally trying to make me look like the bad parent?!?!? Sure as hell felt like it.

I completely understand your situation because I can imagine my ex doing this if I were in the situation.

idk for sure but I do understand why you would assume he is tryint to make you look like the bad parent. I would assume the same.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Agreed. I had an absolute meltdown. On 14 July I'm in court with him because he wants to sell the house. I'm going to be a basketcase!

Did your T help you through things?

Try to plan everything out so you can just "read" and deal with him as little as possible. Do you know of any ways you can relax yourself when in public when you get too tense?

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Yes, they do understand. Likely case will be transferred to mediation court. Problem is I need to pay another $420 to chase maintenance in the court (separate application to settlement of property - my response is costing $320). That's just to give the court paperwork. Doesn't include hearing fees ($850 on the day etc etc etc)

Generally where abuse is concerned - you can also demand he pay all court costs, if you can prove the abuse is the cause of the divorce. Sometimes the lawyers will agree to take payment once the case is won - so you may want to check around and ask other lawyers what they would/could do for you - sometimes they don't, in which case you may need to take out a loan but honestly I would not let him railroad you.

My attorney didn't make me pay as my bill came due. H had control of the finances, which were carefully monitored to make sure he didn't steal marital assets ... as 1/2 of that was mine.

I paid her when I got my money and that was over 4 years later.

Hugs, Crazy Hitch

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

My attorney didn't make me pay as my bill came due. H had control of the finances, which were carefully monitored to make sure he didn't steal marital assets ... as 1/2 of that was mine.

I paid her when I got my money and that was over 4 years later.

Hugs, Crazy Hitch

Weren't things like the house and car and other big purchases bought while married figured into the "marital finances"?