What a way to introduce myself!!...

hi, I'm Bri. I'm new to psychcentral, but, I have been a memeber over at Neurotalk for quite some months now. I came over to this site because, it seems more focused on mental health issues. I have schizoaffective disorder. I am 31, recently divorced, and I have alot to talk about.

Let's just start at the beginning, middle, whatever, let's just get going. My ex was a pretty good hearted person. He really though, is not at all what I'm looking for in a husband. He was insensitive to say the least, and cheated on me I don't even know how many times. He also has some homosexual tendencies. This, really puts me off. I have nothing against homosexuals, just , well, I guess it's different when it's your husband. I'm not going to go into much detail about that. But, that is one of the main reasons I cannot continue in a committed relationship with him.

Here's the real problem: I have feelings for someone who was really close to my ex. I don't know if he still has feelings for me. While I was married, (toward the end), he was calling my work everyday and leaving messages for me. I didn't even know for sure that it was him calling, untill his boss called to talk to my manager about it. I guess the calls showed up on his bill. He was calling from his work phone, I guess.

I had an episode, due to all the stress my non-working, insensitive, mooching ex was causing me during this time. I was really forward with this guy, and said alot of embarrassing things due to my illness. So, my ex found out about everything because I could not keep anything to myself then. This guy, just completely denied everything he did, and blamed it all on my illness. Convenient as it may be. That's ok. I understand that, given the relationship they share. What's bothering me though, is that now, he won't have anything to do with me. Or, my ex. He's kind of just erased us from his life. I don't understand it. Maybe he thinks I got the divorce, because of my feelings for him. But, he should realize, that I had many, many other reasons for doing it. I simply was not happy. My ex took great advantage of me for many years. I had simply, had enough.

What do I do now? Just let it be? That's what I have been doing. I don't know how to read him. I still have a huge crush on him, and want to be with him. I'm trying to date other people though. I've met a few guys, and given my number out, I even had a semi-sexual encounter with one of them about a week ago, but, I'm really not happy doing that, when he is the one I really truely in my heart want to be with.

Any input would be greatly appreciated,

Bri7

Hi and Welcome to PC!!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds as if you've been through a lot lately. Glad you're seeing your way through the tunnel...

My take on the "other guy" is this. If he wants to see you, he will contact you. I know that's blunt, but that's how I see it today.

I'd move on..........xoxoxo Pat