Work issue, hostile coworker or not? Help!!!!

Some of you are aware that I just started a new job as an overnight stocker at a retail store working at nights. I thought that it'd be less stressful in some ways, however, the night crew isn't as friendly as the day crew. A few people there are OK.

It's mostly guys that work during that time. Most of the women who work at the night shift don't really talk to me unless I talk to them. This one lady who's been there awhile seems OK. She's been doing this for a long time. One other new hire is a very nice older woman.

Anyways, this ***** at work who's a new hire too was OK to me at first. She's a single mom. When we talked for the first time, she told me that and I was like, oh. I don't know if she got insulted by that or whatever. It's not like I did anything wrong, right?

I just don't care about kids. Then she saw a kid crying in the aisle when I was working during the day and since hearing screaming kids all day is normal, I wasn't paying attention. This kid was by herself in the aisle and she went up to her to see what's wrong. The mom was in the other aisle. I'm not there to babysit.

She was fine. She might've taken offense to that. She talks about her kid to other people a lot including customers. Well, last night her and some girl who is also a mom were talking and laughing about some woman and how the day manager, one of the other workers or other managers with the same name and her were laughing at someone at work.

So I stupidly approached the girl who's been there longer after the new hire disappeared after seeing me. I asked what's so funny and that I was "bored". I know that came across as nosy, but it did stop them from talking more about whatever it was until I went to the bathroom and noticed a makeup smudge above my eye. They then said something about how extremely hilarious something was. The first girl denied talking to anyone. She was like, who was she talking to, what, what time, where? That is a red flag to me.

Then a few minutes later they started talking again and laughing. If they noticed that, then why not tell me about it? I did nothing to either of them. Soon after that, the new hire stood right under me while I was putting stuff away. She was blasting some crap music. I stayed there for awhile but then left to do another section after that. It was like she was trying to irritate me.

It was rude even if she wasn't trying to. So then one of the long time female stockers there told me that my manager who is cool wants me to do another area. She told that new hire to take over my job.

She then saw me in the break room on my break and two guys were talking about bullying. I told them that I hate bullies and that I don't take crap from them. She made some comments and said this to me: "If you talk about me, I'll roll you down a hill". I don't know if that was an offhand remark or directed at me.

I just laughed. The two guys then shut up. And later they said something like brawl in the break room and laughed. One of the guys has been helpful to me. Not friendly, but he's trying to help me when I ask for it. He's cool. The other guy doesn't say anything to me.

Why would this new hire be so hostile towards me? Should I complain to the manager about her or keep quiet and not make waves until she continues to do this? I'm stuck with her for now as she works nights too. She was quiet in the break room when it was just me and her there, but she said hi to this new guy when she saw him. She is very outgoing and I'm not. She might've taken my shyness as a sign of unfriendliness? Idk.

God, some people are so weird and mean! If she starts anymore crap with me, I will have a talk with my manager who seems to be a cool guy. What should I do? Maybe I'm assuming things? Or should I talk to the manager about this?

Management there btw is ****ed up. Long story short, my real days off are Tuesdays and Wed. The day manager is NOT my manager, but the night manager is who is someone I like better. He is much more direct and funny too. HE makes my schedule. The day people don't communicate clearly with him & he told me that too. What should I do? Complain to him, or just keep away from that weird chic who seems to have some issues with me?

For the record, I have always said hi to her. She tries to ignore me now. To hell with her. Almost everyone there says hi to me or smiles back to me when they see me, (or did during the day) so it's not like there is something wrong with me other than being shy. I'm usually the first one to say hi to most people. Hardly anyone says hi to me first except for a few people. The night crew is OK except for those two young chics who both appear to be in their 20's. This is stressing me out. I don't need this crap.

Well, in my (likely blunt) opinion, you're there to do a job, not socialize or make friends. Interactions beyond what are necessary to do your job should be kept at a minimum. Conversations can naturally spring up between coworkers sometimes, but the important thing is that they don't interfere with your job. The job comes first, is what I'm saying.

And these people are coworkers, not friends. They're not obligated to be friendly or to say hi first or whatever. Should they be polite? Of course. Are you going to run into people who are rude or do something that annoys you? Of course. What I do is think "is this doing me any real harm?" Usually the answer is no, it's just annoying and then I just shrug it off.

Also, about the manager...ordinarily managers are pretty busy, so unless it's vital information or a question that can only be answered by the manager, it may be best to leave them alone.

I would just say: do your job, be polite, and worry less about what other people think and do unless it directly impacts your ability to do your job.

ETA:
This isn't to diminish your feelings at all because I understand why you feel the way you do. I'm just hoping this will give you a different perspective on it.

I am glad you got this job and just focus on that at this time. If someone starts harassing you it's different but laughing or not greeting is not something to worry about.

They do sound immature and iobnoxious but you are there to gain an experience and make an income not deal with them. You made a huge accomplishment by getting a job and don't pay any attention to people who might be rude. Just focus on your job

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Thanks for your reply. I'll just ignore them from now on and like I said, I'm NOT there to make friends. If someone doesn't want to say hi to me, no big deal.

This one new hire like I said either seems totally clueless, or she wanted to deliberately annoy me for whatever reason. She is friendly towards other people, but she is cold to me. Whatever.

And the fact that she listened to her loud and annoying music right by me, and then underneath me was very bizarre. Thank God that I can move around the store. One of the stockers might've noticed her weird behavior probably, so she separated us. I walked away before that happened though. I was the one assigned to that area, not her, so I had no idea why she was there.

Today I'll ignore her for sure. I'll try to ask to work around other people so she is less likely to target me IF she is indeed a bully. Bullies always like to single out their victims or in rare cases, victims who won't or can't fight back, or ones who are to scared to report them to management.

I did document everything so far including the guys as witnesses. I have NOT said a word to anyone about this yet. IF things get worse, I will have to speak up if she won't leave me alone. For now though, I think that she is just an stupid an annoying ***** who is taking out her frustrations in life on whoever she can. Once she can see that she is no longer getting a reaction from me, she'll probably stop.

I'll avoid the other girl too and ignore her as well. Idiots like that don't deserve my respect or kindness.

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Thanks. I know. Like I stated above, I don't care if the people there say hi to me or not. I'm not there to make friends like I said. Those two girls are stupid, immature, and obnoxious. They're ghetto and they obviously have no class.

They're just bored and frustrated with their pathetic lives probably. I'm going to ignore both of them from now on unless I need to talk to them. I'm going to stay away from them as much as I can from now on. Thankfully I can. I will not even look at them. Bullies WANT a reaction. They won't get any from me. I've been bullied for almost my whole life, so I kind of know how to deal with most of them by now. God, it's to bad that I can't just tell them to eff off to their face w/o getting fired! LOL!

I am the end .... Really summed this situation up perfectly

Decades ago I remember as a teenager getting my first real job.. My father said .. Go do your job , be polite and remember you are there to make money and do your job.. If you find a friend or 2 thats fantastic, but otherwise just put in your time and leave work at work.... Some of the best advice he ever gave me when it came to working and dealing with co workers.

Good luck

IMO polite yet functional responses when necessary are the best with these kind of people, otherwise zone out and ignore them and do your job. Far more healthy for your own peace and wellbeing than telling them where to go.

It sounds like you are pretty spot on, well done - I know when you have a history of being bullied these situations can be triggering, good for you that you identified that and aim to rise above it.

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Your dad gave you some great advice. Although I'm not there to make friends, it'd be nice if other people would end up treating me with the same respect that I give them. Sadly, things don't work like that in real life. The two bullies were up to their mean girl jr. high antics last night by trying to follow me around the store at first and laughing behind my back and saying stupid stuff like oh, she's going to get fired soon.

I swear, they were sort of following me around, so I then turned around and went somewhere else, lol! My boss even told me that I'd be working with the main bully when I started my shift. In my head I was like omg. I just stared at her and didn't say hi. She said nothing back. I hope that he got the message that we won't work well together.

Long story short, after ignoring them most of the day, they left me alone. The main bullies friend even smiled at me later. I just gave her a cold look. I know that I should be more polite, but I'm really going through a bad time with my husband now, and I just got my period, and I'm still stressed out and pissed off. Ugh. I'll have to try to suck it up in front of the boss and other people at least from now on I guess.

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I think that you're right and that I should do just that. I walk away from them now. Literally. Just see my above response to Christina. They are still up to their childish mind games.

I think that the fun is wearing off for them though as one girl smiled at me later that day and I gave her a cold look. The bully said bye to me and one other guy. I ignored her. Should I at least try to be polite and say hi & bye or would it be OK to flat out ignore her?

Why would they target me when I've been nothing but nice to them? I didn't do anything to them at all! Yes, it is triggering to me. I hate bullies and I don't put up with crap from them anymore. Especially outside of work. Example, when people have called me fat to my face, I told them off, ha!

Unless something truly heinous happens, then I doubt management will give a damn about things, ugh! The bully is kind of a suck up and she's already friends with everyone and the managers. Especially the male managers. So I doubt anyone would believe me anyways no matter what unless I had solid evidence to back things up with, ugh.

I understand your frustration... There is no way everyone is going to get along and like each other at a job or the world. but you know this.

When I managed people and had newer employees came to me with the type situation your dealing with.. My response was , your new , Just do your job and people will just stop nonsense because someone is going to come in after you and you wont be the "new" worker anymore

Unless there is an actual threat to you... complaining to your manager this soon is probably going to become more of a problem about YOU than the other people..

And I did make some friends every job I worked i just never went into a job and expected people to be all sugar sweet, I think that only happens in movies.

Rise above it all, Shy....

Go in, do your job, be polite, say hello to everyone.

Be better than they are...

My manager is hostile.


I would take a hostile coworker over her any day, but alas I'm stuck sitting very closely to the succubus of Satan every damn day.


But you know what?


I do what IATE and Chris said... I go to work do my job and eff off at the end of the day.


At least the owners are very nice to me, so its become easier to work there. But I'm not trying to get on her good side anymore, or even trying to keep her calm. It's not in my job description and I certainly don't get paid enough.


When she has good days like today, I smile in return and make conversation when she initiates it, but when she's in a mood from hell I keep my (emotional) distance and engage as little as possible.


I'm sure she's noticed by now that I'll play nice when she's nice.


So yeah, no need to be rude to them when they decide to smile or greet, just act "normal" as you usually would.

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I guess that it's best to NOT say anything to management unless things get to become out of hand. I hope to god that doesn't happen.

Why would these two single moms single me out for NO reason at all? Is it because I'm shy, new, and haven't really clicked with any of the night crew yet? Most of them are guys.

I'm overweight and not even that pretty, but not ugly. So they have nothing to be jealous of other than the fact that they know that I'm married w/o kids. One of them has 3 kids. The main bully is a single mom, and a bully. Wow, you'd think a mother would be more mature than that! Most of the guys who work there aside from one old guy who's a cashier never tries to talk to me unless I ask them about something, so wth is wrong with them?

My husband told me that they are just low class and that's how they are. I guess that they are just bored and have nothing better to talk about? Ugh! Like I said earlier, they were trying to follow me around and giggle behind my back the other day, so I walked away from them and then they left me alone. The manager is OK with me. He's cool. Most people there will say hi to me and smile when they see me. I usually say hi to them first.

The worst thing is that my husband is mad at me for something now and he doesn't know how to help me. He just told me to not say anything to them and that's all. UGH!!!! I think that ignoring them is working a little. I'll say hi back to them if they say hi to me from now on. Especially in front of other people and the manager. God, people like them suck so bad! I hate them!

What causes someone to be a bullies target at work and in general usually? Have you ever had this happen to you, or known anyone who did? If so, how did you or the other person deal with the situation?

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Thanks, but that's so much easier said than done! They irritate me when they're around! Thank god that main bully doesn't say anything to me in the breakroom when her little follower isn't around. They need to gang up on me for some reason. Weirdos, ugh!

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Wow, that really sucks! Sorry to hear that! That is even worse! She sounds like she needs meds! It's best to stay away from people when they're in a bad mood like that. You're wise to do just that.

Hello again everyone. I have some good news, I took the advice I was given here and just focused on my job. Well, the bullies have backed off, yay! One girl said hi to me last night and the main bully even offered to HELP me with something in front of the manager there and she even seemed nice!

I made some small talk with her and thanked her for her help. I don't think that I'll ever be friends with them as I like to keep work and my private life separate. Plus, she is quite the chatterbox and something tells me that they're the gossipy types.

And I can't be friends with anyone who has it in them to bully others even if they turn around and act nice later. I can't trust people like that as I've been bullied in the past, so I don't trust bullies at all.

I got my first paycheck last night- One new guy there is nice and offered to help me with something. I'm sure that some people there think that I'm weird as I'm usually quiet and I think that the former bully claimed that I'm moody or whatever. It seems like a lot of them like to laugh and joke a lot and since I don't do that as much, that they only tolerate me as I often get ignored, but oh well. Right now a few people are annoying me as they are very loud and gossipy. I need to steer clear of them and not talk to them. I'll just be polite at best.

Most of the guys there are OK and some are nice. After most people leave, I feel a lot less anxious. I got my first check last night, yay! Thanks for helping everyone!

I am so happy for you. Keep it up!

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