Is this normal of parents?

I have felt unwanted since I was 9 years old. I'm turning 18 soon. My parents have been trying(their words) to get rid of me since I was 12. I hear them say it often. I have seen a physcologist(spelling?) before, and they told me I have social anxiety, ocd, and major depression. I'm not allowed to see a counsellor now though. I'm trying to leave soon, but I only have $1200 saved up. That was from doing odd jobs, as I don't have a car yet and can't really get a normal job(I get turned down after they find I don't have a car)My dad tells me go hurt yourself often, and tells me no one likes me. I have gotten hit with belts before but that stopped a year ago. Now I just get called worthless, r*tard and unimportant by them. I get told they want me to move out so they never have to see me again. I've never felt unconditional love. I only have 3 friends, as I did online school for 8 years. Both of my parents keep telling me "you don't want to grow up." Just based on the fact I don't have my own apartment or house at my age yet. They keep saying "When I was your age, I lived on my own. It's babyish that you don't."

They're constantly asking me "when are you gonna leave?" And they say this out loud "we know you can hear us but we have to get rid of it(me)"

This all started when I was 9 in the 4th grade. Are all people around 9 like hyper active, and annoying? Because I remember that I was like always hyper and running around. My parents couldn't stand that. They took me to a physcologist(spelling?) and they told him

how hyper I was(this happened when I was 9), and he automatically gave me adhd meds, but the thing is I had no problem sitting still, at that age I was just naturally hyper. I think this is when the depression really started, but I didn't really notice it until I was around 10. I wasn't hyper anymore, but I also was not happy anymore either.

That is when all of this started. At 9 when they thought I had adhd
I don't see how and why they're like this. I have an older cousin who is 24 she models and constantly uploads pictures of herself(I don't evny her, I think it's cool she has that interest) but her parents are constantly "worshipping" her like uploading her pics onto their social media profiles too, and thinking she can do no wrong. She still lives at home, and doesn't get called names(like I do) or hit(like I used to have happen to me).

I don't see why I get treated like this. I was just using my cousin as an example, like she is older than me she has ocd, and anxiety yet her parents are very understanding. Even before I had this my parents never wanted me. I don't get it. What would you do?

Since I was really young about 3 years old, I would get scolded and yelled at for emotions and sometimes even hit for that. Was that normal? I got told "only" babies are allowed to have feelings.

I just don't see how it is normal of parents to say they hate, and never want to see you again, blaming their problems on you, saying you'll never succeed, and saying it's messed up you still live with them at 17 almost 18. And I don't see how it's normal from saying to someone you want to get rid of them as young as 9!

No its certainly not normal, I'm pissed off at your parents so badly right now that I am actually speechless!!


Just know that you don't and never have deserved any of that.


My heart bleeds for you

I am sooooo sorry to hear this, I am a mother of a 2 year old and i couldnt even imagine ever hating or treating my daughter that way at all. I hope and pray that you can find the love and support you need elsewhere since your parents unfortunately dont deserve to have you as their child. this is so upsetting and so sickening to have to hear let alone having to experience this, God bless you and just do all you can to work hard and save up even if you have to find a roomate. They will get what they deserve i am sorry but no child should ever have to go through this.. P.s. do you have any other family you can stay with in the meantime just to get away from their negative energy ugh!

Your parents are verbally abusive. That's not normal or how parents are supposed to be. I hope you weren't medicated for ADHD, when you didn't even have ADHD.

If I were in your situation, I'd do my best to get out of there and never look back.

Anyone to go to
Guidance counsellor?
crisis line?
mental healthcare team?
family doctor?

Also, enquire with your Social Services office about 'emancipation'