[Mary123]

My story is the following:
I met a guy five years ago and I started to fall for him. In the last three years my feelings for him started to become stronger.

I knew all the time that he liked somebody else, not me.

This year he was going to go as a missionary to another country. So, I decided to tell on the day I was going to say goodbye to him before I left how I felt.

It has been six months since this happened. To this day I have not been able to move on from this even if I know that by now I should be able to.

What would yo recommend me to do?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Mary123: Well... the obvious answer here, I guess, is... seek out a therapist, or perhaps even a trusted friend, with whom you can talk through your feelings. Beyond this, it may simply be a matter of allowing the passage of time. However, in addition, I would think it would be important to get out & do things with other people... socialize, volunteer, pursue a hobby, whatever would be of interest to you. The main thing, from my perspective is to do something to minimize the tendency to ruminate about this... to allow it to keep rolling around in your thoughts.

I take it, from your post, your declaration of affection was not met with a positive response. It's going to take time to get over this. There's simply no way around it. So in the meantime what's going to be important is to move forward in some other direction &, at the same time, to have someone to share your feelings with whether that be a professional counselor, therapist or trusted friend. I wish you well...

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Hi Mary there is no arbitrary timeframe in which you "should" be over someone. If you sre not ready to move on yet then just be kind and gentle with yourself and allow yourheart the time it needs to heal..but if you feel like you are healed of heart but stuck in mind ruminating and or fear of future rejection is what is keeping you from moving on, then I would suggest trying baby steps if nesescary to slowly push yourself back into the world. You dont have to be ready for full steam ahead back into the dating pool but start going out w/ friends or coworkers, get comfortable again feeling social and single and try when ready to be open to opportunity and by being out and social w/ others also hopefully your comfort level towards small talk will increase to eventually being able to intiate a conversation with someone new.

[Bill3]

How are you doing now?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

So you told him how you felt? What was his response? Do you guys still talk? If so i would distance yourself until you were over it. If not then perhaps see a T or give yourself some time and TLC.

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[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Mary123

My story is the following:
I met a guy five years ago and I started to fall for him. In the last three years my feelings for him started to become stronger.

I knew all the time that he liked somebody else, not me.

This year he was going to go as a missionary to another country. So, I decided to tell on the day I was going to say goodbye to him before I left how I felt.

It has been six months since this happened. To this day I have not been able to move on from this even if I know that by now I should be able to.

What would yo recommend me to do?

Having cared about this man for so long, I am not surprised it is taking you some time to move on. One thing I would suggest is thinking over what characteristics you admired about him (you could write them down on paper). Physical and intellectual/emotional/spiritual. Then allow yourself to be open to the next person who comes along who also has those characteristics.