Long life sensitivity

Okay so I'm like a hundred years old but that doesn't mean things don't hurt. So I'm talking to somebody who I thought was my friend. We were discussing music and so I burst out into a song by a favorite of mine and my friend started to look embarrassed. It was a fairly public place and I think my friend was struck by my enthusiasm. So my friend asked me if I'd taken my meds this morning implying that I wasn't in control. I was just having fun. Anyway I've been letting this episode roll around in my head all day - the internal criticism is so present even at this late date. Insecurity has been a lifelong anchor and I believe I'll wear it to the grave. This makes me hate myself and life in general. You know I've never really felt good about myself - trouble is I've never really had anybody in my corner so to speak. I don't know what it is like for somebody to lean on your shoulder and say it's okay because I'm here for you. Maybe tomorrow

Those are the exact same words i used to describe how i felt to my current t. That i wanted someone in my corner. Thats who hes been for me.

That was plain rude of this friend of yours.

Hope that you can connect with someone a little less negative if you break out into song in public.

"Investigate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

One of the few advantages of getting older is, usually, that you don't give a f what other people think about you. I generally don't.
Sounds like your friend was just joking and you've taken it the wrong way. Of course we don't know just how enthusiastically you were singing. Did you stand up in front of the crowd thinking you sounded like one of the three tenors , when in fact you sounded more like one of the three stooges or was it a more restrained performance.

Lol ptangptang. Three tenors or three stooges.

I sing like Florence foster Jenkins lol. If I carried on a song in public people would probably call 911.

On a serious note unless you screamed loud songs in a library or a museum it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Your friend is off base.

I don't sing in public but I do some dance move every time music plays ( my daughter used to say one day I'll be on you tube as someone would film me).

My husband does dance moves and sings in public. And he somehow knows all words to all songs. He embarrasses crap out of me. Lol but I am getting used to it

Mac just keep singing

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Hey some people like the 3 stooges! Decades TV is showing a documentary this week made by Moe Howard's son. That i just happen to be watching right now nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Seriously though Mac, if you like singing have you thought of joining a singing group. A while ago I joined a sea shanty group though it eventually stopped through lack of members. How about joining a local choir. You might meet a woman there.
Divine, isn't there film out about Florence Foster Jenkins. I'm always singing round the house or ,more embarrassingly, in the street. I can't be that bad cos the local cats always join in. If I'm feline down it cheers me up.

Yes I just watched the movie and the entire time thought I sound even worse than her

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Hey Mac, I can relate - I love singing and music is a big part of my life, although I'm not really a good singer. I have burst into song myself, and get varying reactions from those close to me depending on their own personalities, some join in (like minded spirits), some just smile and indulge me, and my husband often looks embarrassed (he's a musician and doesn't appreciate my lack of skill teamed with enthusiasm!!)

I think it's really cool that you felt so enthused you burst into song, I'm sorry your confidence was knocked by your friend's comment. My take on this is that the incident says a lot about them (more so than about you), they are maybe a more self conscious/restrained type of person than you are - or possibly even a little shy, do you think that may be the case?

If I were your friend I would have probably joined in with you (what was the song if you don't mind my asking?), sure that many others would have too - think it's a great suggestion by Ptang to join a choir or singing group of sorts, you'd be sure to find like minded souls there.

Main thing I think you should take from this is that it says more about your friend than you. Smile an shrug it off I say.

Yeah well the problem was that it was said by someone I respected. Someone I thought was pretty cool. The thing that always struck me about life is the difference between what is expected versus how things actually play out. I guess I imagined a better response from this person and got something tasteless. For some reason in your head you always picture people to be better or smarter or more compassionate. My experience is that people are always less than the flawless image in the minds eye. The bronze on their skin only exists inside your expectations. Too bad it can't be different. I'd probably smile more

@The O.P, sorry to hear that. Has this person said anything like that before? How did they say that to you, in a joking way, or in a critical judgemental way? It's not what you say but how you say things that can make a difference in what something means.

Also, did you tell this person that hurt your feelings? If not, then maybe they had no idea that they did and they didn't mean to. There is only one way to find out, and that's to talk to them about things if you haven't already. Maybe they were just joking. If they weren't, well, then just know this, you don't need judgemental and critical people in your life.

It's better to be alone than with people who only end up making you feel worse about yourself.

There's another way to look at this. If we accept others flaws (like your friend making an off comment) then we have compassion for them, if we don't then how else can we expect others to be compassionate for our flaws too?