Mom Threatened to Commit Suicide

My mom had a really bad episode again today.

Long story short - 2 nights ago I got impatient when she kept asking me something I don't know, I said "OKAY" and she got mad at me. The next morning, she went to our weekend house to get away from me (currently just us two living together.) This morning, she started texting me and brought up past incidents of me "giving her bad attitude." Then she said if it wasn't because of my brother she'd kill herself already. And she went on to tell me how she's taking meds for anxiety/depression again, and that she had to come home to take her meds tonight. After that she texted me to say she still wants to be best friends w/ me, etc. so I thought she was out of her bad mood.

She got us takeout dinners and I was about to go to the living room and eat but she brought it to my room so I ate in my room while watching a movie. After dinner, she came in to my room to ask if I was mad at her, and that she was going to bed cause she was tired, not angry. Few minutes later, she came into my room again w/ a pillow my brother used during his visit last month and asked me if it smells like my brother, I said I guess so, and saw her walking out holding that pillow. I got scared at that point.

A while later, she came into my room again and talked/yelled at me for an hour (she brought the pillow w/ her.) Said she's losing it and only wants to stay strong until my brother finishes school, that she doesn't care about anything else after that. At some point I started crying cause I was scared, and all of a sudden she put her hands around her own neck - I didn't notice until I heard choking sound. I looked up and saw her choking herself and her face all red. I grabbed her hand and started crying furiously and she said:"I wouldn't kill myself right now. I just wanted to see how it feels like if one day I decide to kill myself this way."

I didn't know what else to do so I just sat there and cried and let her say whatever and responded the ways I knew/hoped wouldn't make her madder. Then I guess I she thought I was feeling sorry enough for upsetting her so she hugged me and tried to comfort me...

I'm scared. I just want to move out ASAP

Is she already seeing a professional? Can you get her some help from a professional?
Do you have plans to move out?

You need to call child protective services and ask for help.

Regardless of what is or isn't wrong with your mom, it is WRONG WRONG WRONG of her to ABUSE her children in this manner with it!

And, yes, dear ... Intentional or not ... Whether she can help it or not ...

This is abuse and neither YOU nor YOUR BROTHER deserve to be manipulated or held hostage by it.

And, by all means, YES ... Get out as soon as you can ... Get the help you need to recover from this, and if your mom also gets help then perhaps somewhere down the line y'all can have a healthier relationship ... But as it stands now, this is not healthy for her, you or your brother!

I'm reading a book right now, Dangerous Relationships by Joelle Nelson Ph.D. And it describes abusive, manipulation as just what your mother is doing to you. I strongly agree with Pfrog. You should not have to be going through this. Call whoever you need to get you out of there and get your mother help. Do not let her manipulate you. Notice how you said you 'we're feeling sorry enough for upsetting her'? That's how she manipulates you! Talk to your school guidance counselor, anybody, get out of this!

Jesus Christ...those attitude swings are so painfully familiar, flipping from being your friend to hating you or blaming you. I'm a kid wih a BP mom as well. The suicidal ideation and threats were never that bad (and mostly just talking), but similarly random seeming.

Moving out really is your best option, if you have the means.

If your mom's like mine, she'll try to stay attached through phone calls - do what you can to set limits or convince her to leave you alone.

Hello kid_of_a_bp_mom: You cannot, must not continue to try to cope with this alone. Please reach out, in real life, for the help you both need & deserve.

You need to call the police or child protection services. Her life is at risk, and you are not responsible for taking care of her. You have done nothing wrong, and her treatment of you is abuse.

For both of your sakes, for both of your safety, you really need to involve others.

Hi. So glad you reached out to talk about this here. Try to stay as calm as you can. and

I know it seems too scary to do so but it's very important that you seek the help. If you are a minor, talk to a counselor at school or contact Child Protective Services.

If it seems like she will harm herself, call 911. You don't have to take any of her scary threats on your own. Call for help.

You can also call National Crisis Intervention Line... They will help you and advise you what to do. 1-800-273-8255

Just know that if she's not getting the help that she needs, YOU must do what you can to make sure that you are safe and able to live in peace until she is stabilized.

Don't feel bad if she screams, cries, blames you. Don't look to her for support about your decisions to ask for help.

I'm a survivor of an abusive parent suffering from undiagnosed mental health problems, most likely bi-polar disorder. The drama was endless and I always wonder how different my life might've been if she was forced to get help by someone who reported her for beating me.

Please take care. Stay safe.

She has neurological problems that cause her body to ache, and her doctor told her if the pains get bad she might develop depression. She's been using that against me ever since, and thinks her mood is only cause of her aches, and I'm the trigger.

I plan to move in with my boyfriend ASAP.

Thank you
After her behaviors last night, I'm afraid to even be home with her cause I don't know if anything I do will upset her and make her do something...
I'm planning to move out once I get the chance.

Yesterday she said she "should go to hell" if I move out cause if I do then it means she's a bad mother. Now I'm afraid to even live somewhere else... but I still plan to move out.

I feel truly sorry for you. My mom was manipulative like that too. Unsure if she was BP since she was never diagnosed. Just know she either adored me or hated me. It is so terribly wrong to put a guilt trip on you, ie blaming you for her aches. You need to do what is needed to protect yourself and get help for your mom. I can't condemn her if its her mental illness making her do the things she does. I'm not exonerating her. Nor am I in any way blaming you. What I am saying is MI can make people do things

It always hurts when one minute she's fine and the next minute she turns into another person Hurts even more when she promises what she did will never happen again, cause I just know it will

UPDATE

My mom texted me this afternoon trying to make up. Said I'm her only "cure," and if I can't help her get well then she's hopeless. I asked her to go see someone for help and she flipped again, saying I don't understand her sickness, that it's only neurological disease (body aches) that turn into depression/anxiety/"craziness" when I upset her

You can't cure her. You are not responsible for her mood shifts. You are only responsible for you and YOUR well being just like she is for her own.

I'm sure she makes you mad but you don't threaten to kill yourself. She is using it to manipulate you. Please don't play into her game. Take care of you and get out of there ASAP. So sorry you are having to live with this. I know how terrible it hurts to be blamed and think it's all your fault.

She finally made an appointment to go see a psychologist. She probably hates me for bringing up the word "psychologist" now but at least she's going...

Sounds more like borderline than bipolar? Or bipolar with a lot of other problems.

I have never acted this way towards my sons.

You might consider calling Adult Protective Services to report you mother as a person in danger of self-harming. Your mother is very emotionally disturbed. She is also immature, selfish and exploitative. You have every right to get away from her as soon as you can arrange to do that. That will precipitate all kinds of hystrionics from her. I wouldn't put anything past her. What a shame that you have to be a "parent" to the person who is supposed to be your rock to lesn on.

Tell her you will not toleratebeimg eb